


A Mirror Between

by EowynStormborn



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Romance, Dorks in Love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, First Love, Friendship, Modern Character in Thedas, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Spoilers, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-23
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:02:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 20
Words: 53,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22379140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EowynStormborn/pseuds/EowynStormborn
Summary: Brianna falls through a peculiar mirror and gets caught up in the story of the Inquisition. It doesn’t help that she already has a massive crush on Solas. But she wants to get back to her family, and he has secret plans for the future of Thedas. An angsty romance between a pair of bleeding hearts.
Relationships: Solas & Original Character(s), Solas & Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 80
Kudos: 66
Collections: The Solas stories that I will forever read and re-read





	1. The Mirror

**\- Chapter One -**

**The Mirror**

“You can’t take care of me forever, sweetheart.”

Brianna leaned against the kitchen counter, rubbing at a smudge on the linoleum with her shoe. “But I want to. I don’t mind.”

“I do.”

Brianna glanced at her. Short brown hair framed her mother’s angular face, softened by inquisitive green eyes that matched her own. 

“It doesn’t have to be you. You are so kind to stay with me, but you need to get out and meet people. Some nice guy who reads, maybe.” 

“I dunno. I’ll find a guy sometime.”

“You should find him and talk to him. But he has to know you exist first.” 

She winked, and it was plain to see why Dad had married her. Every now and then, Brianna caught glimpses of the mom she had known. Before the change.

“Or you could just ask him out. Make the first move!”

“Mom!”

“The world is moving on without you, Brianna. You have to make it your own.”

The kitchen light flickered above her head, and Brianna started.

“I got you a mirror. One of those old, floor-length mirrors.”

Brianna blinked. “For the back of my closet door?” 

Mom hummed at the ceiling. “The mirror was at the shop and it was very heavy, so I don’t think it’s meant to go on a door. It’s like a door mirror, though.” She gave her a wide smile. “It’s very pretty!”

Throat closing, Brianna turned to go. “Thanks. I know you’ve been wanting to get me one for a while. I’m sure it’s great.”

“Wait! Quick hug!” She held Brianna tightly. “It’ll be really exciting!”

Brianna headed upstairs to her bedroom, taking the steps two at a time. She hissed as she slipped on the carpet, knocking her knee against the wall. Shutting herself in her room, she leaned against the door, fisting her sleeves against her eyes. 

“Mom being weird again?”

She lowered her arms. Her younger sister sat cross-legged on one of the beds against the wall, cradling a slice of pizza and watching her with concern. Brianna trudged to her bed against the opposite wall, collapsing into it with a noisy sigh. “Yeah. It started okay, but… I dunno. It’s nothing.” She rolled onto her side, tugging at the end of her long ponytail. The window was open, and she inhaled the scent of pine as the branches of the nearby evergreen whispered in the cool night breeze.

“That’s not true. It bugs you, but you never let me help.”

“There’s nothing we can do, Cynthia. The doctor said-”

“Screw the doctor.”

“Not literally.”

Cynthia giggled.

“It’s not his fault.”

“You’re too nice,” she complained, tossing the unfinished slice into a wastebasket. “Why can’t you be bad like me sometimes?”

“Because I have to take care of _you_ , silly. And Mom…”

“You shouldn’t have to.”

Brianna studied her sister’s face in the yellow glow from a nearby streetlight. She had dark, mahogany hair like hers, the same chin that stuck out a little too much. But while Cynthia had their mother’s sharp features, Brianna had her father’s tilted nose and soft cheeks. Her brow wrinkled in worry. Cynthia’s cheeks seemed hollow. Unnaturally so. “I do if you’re not going to take care of yourself.”

Cynthia groaned. “I was literally just eating pizza.”

“And didn’t finish it. Have you eaten anything else today?”

“You sound like Mom.”

At least she wasn’t fighting back this time. “I’m sorry. I just care about you.”

In the dim light, Brianna heard more than saw her sister’s smile when she said, “Your boobs were always better than mine, though.”

“Shut up.”

Cynthia flashed her a Cheshire cat grin. “She doesn’t deny it.”

Brianna chucked a pillow at her. “This is just awkward.”

“You’re hopeless. You need to own it!”

Humming noncommittally, Brianna sank into the covers, staring at the posters on the wall. Her eyes traced the figure of a man holding a glowing palm up to a sky full of demons.

“Don’t you think about guys sometimes?”

“Sometimes? Try all the time,” she grumbled.

Cynthia laughed behind her hand. Her eyes twinkled. “Don’t worry. You’ll find some book-loving, nerdy, scholar guy and you’ll be happy dorks forever and ever.” When Brianna didn’t reply, she continued, “Someone is gonna be really lucky to have you, Bri. I’ll be sad when you go, but you can’t stay here forever. And I don’t think Mom expects you to.”

Brianna swallowed. She wanted to agree, but what else was there for her? She stared out the window, past the pine branches to the city in the distance. Her existence was condensed to this tiny townhouse; every day spent waiting for an indiscernible something that she couldn’t name. 

“What’s with the mirror?” Cynthia asked.

“That was Mom.”

Cynthia clicked on a light and Brianna squinted. “Go check out the monstrosity.”

Brianna hauled herself to a sitting position and her brows lifted. The mirror was massive. It touched the ceiling, the bottom edge protruding into the room by several inches. Intricate whorls and flowers decorated the frame, golden and glistening in the lamplight. But she was sure it was just paint. 

“Isn’t it so old-looking? It kinda bugs me that it doesn’t fit in the room. She should’ve, like, measured it first, or something.”

Brianna crossed the room to stand in front of it, sliding one finger down the silky surface.

Cynthia eyed it skeptically. “It’s cool, I guess. We could’ve gotten one online if you were wanting one.”

“Sort of? Mom’s been talking about getting me one for a while. It’s pretty though.” Brianna’s gaze moved to the computer desk beside the mirror, her controller still left out from earlier. 

“Fine, do your thing.” Cynthia waved her hands in mock defeat. “I see that dreamy look in your eyes. Go date your skinny elf boyfriend, or whatever it is you do in there.”

“He’s a lot more than a skinny elf.”

“You sure are defensive of someone who just leaves you in the end.”

With a wan smile, Brianna plopped into the desk chair, almost tipping backwards. She gave her sister a pointed look. “You’d have to play it to understand.”

Cynthia rolled her eyes and turned off the light. “G’night, nerd.”

“I love you, too.”

Brianna picked at a loose thread on her sweater sleeve, waiting to load in. No matter how many times she played the game, she always came back to him. In a secret corner of her heart, she wished those storm-grey eyes would turn in her direction, rather than towards the slim, elven girl with _vallaslin_ curling across her cheeks and jaw. 

The dryer buzzed. “Stupid,” she muttered. As she reached for a laundry basket, she tripped, careening noisily into the door. Cynthia groaned and rolled over, muttering. Brianna glared at the mirror, which leaned a little further into the room, before limping awkwardly downstairs.

“So clumsy…” She yanked the clothes out of the dryer as the washer rattled beside her. With the basket perched on her hip, she climbed the stairs, shaking out her throbbing foot as she hobbled into the bedroom. 

There was nothing beneath her. Gasping, she plunged downward. Her skin tingled as she fell through a rippling cold, like through the surface of water, but there was only frigid emptiness below. She slammed onto her back, crying out as her head snapped backwards. Pain shot through her side. Brianna groaned, writhing against a wooden floor that bit into her shoulder blades. Squinting against the light in her eyes, she gingerly lifted her sleeve to reveal a red, angry welt on her elbow. When the pain in her head eased, she wobbled to her feet. Bits of snow fell around her through a ruined roof, the jagged boards dark and wet against the cloudy sky. A gentle breeze whistled across the planks above her and she shivered. A faint glow caught her eye, and Brianna turned to see a tall mirror propped against the rough, wooden wall, its surface a shimmering blue. 

_I came through that?_ She pressed a hand to her throbbing forehead. With the other, she reached towards the mirror, but her fingers met with cool, hard glass. She peered through the blue light swirling just below the surface, barely making out her bedroom ceiling, the computer desk, and the ghost of her disheveled reflection. Brianna slid her hands across the unyielding glass, stomach churning. She was unable to return the way she had come. 

“Cynthia!” The mirror quivered beneath her fist. “Cynthia, help! I need you!” It was then that Brianna noticed the empty wall beside her desk. “It must’ve fallen… I came through the mirror?” She peered closer, the monitor glowing dimly, her game open to where she had been gathering elfroot on the outskirts of Haven. 

The truth slid into place. Brianna pivoted, eyes locked on the snowy mountainside and the silent pine forest. Moving to the doorway, she tucked her arms around her neck as tiny snowflakes whisked around her. Across the frozen lake, nestled in the snowy hills, lay Haven. Bright red banners snapped in the wind, faint voices drifting through the trees.

A distant rumble drew her gaze upward. The sky pulsed with raw energy, lightning flickering behind the swirling clouds. An unnatural, green-tinged light blazed at its center, and a chill shivered through her, raising goosebumps on her arms. 

Brianna sank back against the cabin wall, mindless of the snow soaking her jeans. The Breach had never looked so… alive. Fear wormed through her as it cracked and thundered distantly. “This… This is Dragon Age…?” She squeezed her eyes shut, digging her fingers into her hair. “It’s okay, it’s okay. You’ll find a way back. This is fine.” She groaned. “Did Mom seriously find an _eluvian_ in an antique shop?! _How?_ ”

A crushing weight settled on her chest. With no way to return, the reality of the situation seeped into her mind. Her family needed her. Mom needed her.

Terror seized her. Not of the Breach, or the unlikeliness of her situation, but of the vast world that beckoned with a silent call. Her home had been safe, predictable, unchanging. But this? She couldn’t remember the last time she had taken a risk about anything. 

Her palms were moist, despite the cold, and she tucked them around her waist. The snow had stopped falling as afternoon sunlight spilled over the mountains. Delaying the inevitable would get her nowhere. Either she could sit in the snow and do nothing, or find help. _As if anyone in Thedas would know how to get me home._ She watched the Breach as the clouds turned slowly. If anyone could understand, it would be _him_.

She pressed her arms against the nausea rising in her gut as she stood. Her knees shook at the thought of seeing him, meeting him in person. It was crazy, and way beyond anything she could have imagined. But he was her best bet for making it in a world that was both familiar and alarmingly formidable.

Brianna stepped into the snow, away from the mirror, and the last shred of safety it represented.

 _No one back home is gonna believe this…_ Snow fell into her sneakers and she grumbled irritably. _Just act natural. I can-_ She tripped over a branch. … _do this. Just find him and talk to him, and everything will be fine._ She stepped out of the woods, and when she caught a few odd looks aimed her way, she hurried forward. She passed the gates with no trouble, her heart in her throat. _What am I doing…? I’ve_ romanced _him. More than once. Seeing him is gonna be super awkward…_

As she climbed the steps to the living quarters, her hips groaned in protest. Mercifully, the space in front of his cabin was vacant, and her heart dropped back into its usual place. When she reached the top, she stood gawking at the cabin door. It wasn’t a dream, but she kept waiting to wake up anyway. 

Someone cleared their throat behind her and she jumped. A thin man with a neatly trimmed beard stood outside the apothecary shop, surveying her critically. 

“Uhh… Hi.”

His eyes narrowed as he looked her up and down. “Who are you and why are you outside the elf’s cabin?”

“I’m his student.” The lie slipped from her easily. “I’ve known him a while and he’s been teaching me about the Fade.” 

There was a drawn out pause. “Adan,” he said shortly. “Are you in need of aid?”

 _Yes._ “Thank you, but I’ll wait for him.” 

“As you wish.”

She didn’t know Adan. She wasn’t ready for the inevitable questions. Once his back was turned, she tried the handle. The door swung open, and with a steadying breath, she stepped inside. 

A fire crackled in the hearth, chasing away the chill as sparks swirled up the chimney. Stacks of books took up every available surface and several crates stood against the far wall, brimming with scrolls. Numerous papers were tacked to the wall around the desk in the corner, and the counter under the window held stones and peculiar fragments arranged in neat rows. Her nose tingled with the scent of parchment and earth, and she moved into the room, smiling faintly. He _lived_ here. She wasn’t sure why such a simple fact surprised her, but it did.

“Good day, Adan.”

The all-too-familiar voice jarred her muddled senses awake. She whirled around. No one was there, but shadows moved just outside.

“If you say so,” came the apothecary’s tired reply. “Should be for you, at least.”

“How so?”

“Your student is here to see you. Let herself in not three minutes ago.”

 _Hide hide hide! Where do I hide...?_ A long silence followed Adan’s words, and she pressed herself into the corner at the foot of the bed.

“Student?”

“Yes, she said she was involved in your studies of the Fade.” Adan’s voice held a curious note.

“I see. Thank you.” Footsteps padded closer. He appeared in the doorway, glancing cautiously around the room. He tilted his head when his gaze collided with hers. 

Her breath caught, trapped in lungs that had clearly abandoned her. 

He looked her up and down before shutting the door and moving to his desk. “I assume there is a reason you’re here.”

 _Oh god, his voice… Ugh, stop!_ _He’ll end up with the Inquisitor or just be his self-loathing self. Certainly not yours._ As she opened her mouth to reply, her stomach let out a gurgle that was neither ladylike nor quiet. Brianna cringed. 

He stood with his back to her, moving the papers on his desk. “If you are hungry, there is bread and soup on the table. That is, if you are able to dislodge yourself from that corner.”

Cheeks flaming, Brianna inched forward, eyes glued to the back of his head. _I don’t believe this. He’s_ right there! _How is this happening? Here, with him… It’s-_

“Impossible...” Paper rustled as he set the stack of parchments aside. “...that you could be a student of mine seeing as I have none.”

“But not entirely unbelievable, considering your interests,” she replied.

He turned, brows raised in a hint of surprise. 

Her heart thrummed as she stared back at him, taking in the smooth crown of his head, the curve of his shoulders. Her eyes trailed down to his wrapped feet and back up to his face. Seeing him… real and alive and looking back at her… The shadows of his cheekbones, the dark patches beneath his eyes. He was real. And he was beautiful _._ “Wow, Solas,” she breathed, eyes wide with wonder. “You look _amazing_.”


	2. Headway

**\- Chapter Two -**

**Headway**

  
  


“Forgive me,” Solas said, “but I do not believe we are acquainted.”

Brianna grinned sheepishly and ducked her head. “Right, sorry. You don’t know me. You wouldn’t.” She was having a hard time thinking straight. 

“And yet you seem to be familiar with who I am.”

“It’s complicated. I know about you, but I’ve never actually been here before. Well, I’ve seen this place plenty of times, but haven’t been here in person.” She caught the amused expression on his face and looked away, willing the heat in her cheeks to subside.

“Forgive me,” he said. “You are attempting to explain something complex, but I assure you that I understand the unbelievable better than most.” 

She scooted closer to the fireplace. “Actually, I was kind of counting on that. I know you know a lot about the Fade and magic, so it made sense to find you. Anyone else would think I’m crazy. I mean, you might think I’m crazy, but it’s less likely. I think.” She was rambling again.  _ Shut up. Stop. Talking.  _

“It would be helpful if I had more information.”

Brianna hummed and paced. Solas silently followed her movements with his eyes. She tried to ignore him, but her thoughts were a hopeless tangle of uncertainties and a thousand questions. Her family would be wondering where she was. They needed her. She had to go back.

“You are distressed.”

“I’m trying to find a way to get home and I have no idea where to start.” She laughed shortly. “On a normal day, I’d pay to get here.”

“Considering the recent appearance of the Breach, not many would share your sentiments.” Solas turned his desk chair and sat, facing her. 

She shot him a glance. “Sure. Get comfortable over there.”

“So says the strangely dressed individual that let herself into my cabin.”

“Point taken. I just don’t know how to explain it. Coming up with a story would be so much easier.”

“As is often the case when the truth is difficult to hear or understand. At least now I am fairly certain you were not awaiting my arrival with murderous intent.”

She whirled to face him. “Of course not! I couldn’t pull that off even if I wanted to.”

“So you considered it?” He lifted a brow.

_ I can’t. I’m sorry… _

His voice drifted through her memory and she averted her gaze.  _ I’m in so much trouble… _

“If you have seen this place before, but have not been here in person, is it possible you are from the Fade or had any experience traveling through it?” he asked. “You do not appear to be a spirit.”

She relaxed when she caught the tinge of curiosity in his voice. “I know what the Fade is, but I’m definitely just a person. Honestly, I don’t know why I ended up here.”

“You could begin with your name, seeing as you already know mine,” Solas offered.

“Oh, sorry. Brianna. It’s Brianna.”

“A pleasure to meet you, Brianna.”

_ The way he says my name... Wow.  _

_ “ _ Are you here for the Inquisition?”

“Maybe? I didn’t mean to come to Thedas. But I just fell here.” For a moment, she considered mentioning the Eluvian, but decided against it. 

“Your phrasing is curious,” he said, studying her. “You are not from Thedas originally?”

“I’m from a different world than this one. My family is there and I have to get back to them. I’m not sure if I can, but I think you’re my best bet.”

“So you decided to seek me out because you know of me.”

“To be honest, you seemed the least likely to kick me out because of an unlikely origin story.”

“And why is that?”

“Because you’re the Dread Wolf.”

Silence snapped between them, and Solas’s eyes darkened. 

_ Okay, why did I just blurt it out like that? _

Solas crossed the room in three long strides, grabbed her, and shoved her against the wall. “Who are you?” he growled. He towered over her, his grip tightening. “How do you know?” 

“I told you, I already know all about you.” She lifted her chin, hoping to appear more confident than she felt. “I know what you are and what you’ve done, but I’m here to help.”

Solas lowered his face within inches of her own. Tense and silent, he studied her intently, as though searching her soul for hidden intentions. 

Peeking up at him, she knew she should’ve been afraid, should’ve feared for her life. He was an Elven god after all. She saw the lethal power in his shoulders and in the lean muscle of his forearms. But she remembered all the times her Inquisitor had romanced him, and just couldn’t conjure the fear he attempted to induce.

His breath was warm on her face, drawing her attention to the golden freckles sprinkled across the bridge of his nose.  _ Well, that’s  _ really _ not intimidating… _ Giddy at the proximity, she flashed him a grin. “I'm sorry, but you’re really not that scary, especially since I know you’re just a big, six-eyed puppy on the inside. I like your freckles.”

Solas pushed away from the wall with a deep scowl. He paced, prowling across the floor like a caged animal.

Knowing his dark secret up front somehow made him seem less intimidating. But maybe she had spoken too quickly.  _ I guess he has at least one person who knows who he is now, _ she thought. With a gusty sigh, she plopped down on his bed and crossed her legs. “So…  _ Fen’harel. _ You gonna kill me now or what?”

He braced his arms on the mantle, eyes closed. “You look entirely too comfortable for someone who knows so much,” he said, without giving any indication he had seen her.

Her eyes followed the curve of his back and she coughed, gaze skittering away. “Well, you look entirely too stressed about all your bad life choices. You really should accept the decisions you’ve made and move on.”

“Wise advice from one so young.”

Brianna snorted. “My soul is as old as yours.”

He looked at her then, as if she were some kind of puzzle. “Tell me what you know.”

Brianna gave him the condensed version of what she knew about Corypheus and the orb.

After, Solas ran a hand over his head. “Impossible. He should not have survived. I intended for the explosion to destroy him completely.”

“Technically, you’re not supposed to hand over your most valuable possession to your enemy, just because you haven’t found a way to unlock it yourself,” she pointed out.

He gave her a look. “Much of my strength was depleted after I awoke from  _ uthenera _ , but I knew I needed to free the Evanuris. They are my kin and what I did to them was unforgivable. I saw what had become of the elven people. The fault is mine and I knew I had to reverse what had been done. There was no other way.”

“That’s what they all say.”

“Are you saying there is another way to unlock my orb? Is that something you have seen in the Fade?”

“It doesn’t work like that,” she said, wilting a little at his frustration. “I only know what happens in this timeline. Corypheus keeps your orb, and after the last fight with him, that’s when you... ” 

Solas looked at her from across the room. “What do I do?”

She picked at the thread on her sleeve and whispered, “You leave.”

“I leave Haven?”

“No… The Inquisitor! The Inquisition!  _ Everything!  _ You just ride off into the sunset by yourself because leaving is what you do. Just like Crestwood.”

“Crestwood?”

“Nevermind.” Her head dropped into her hands. “This is way harder than I thought it would be,” she mumbled.

“Perhaps I left because I had accomplished my purpose. If the Breach is sealed, then you know that this is why I joined the Inquisition; to study the Herald’s mark and learn how she and my orb were connected. What more could there be?”

“Everything…” Brianna groaned into her hands. 

_ I wish it could, vhenan. _

She was almost surprised when tears pricked her eyes.  _ He hasn’t left yet and I’m already a snotting mess.  _ When she looked up, Solas was studying her gravely. 

“Is there no way I can reclaim my orb from Corypheus?”

What could she say? He didn’t know how much the Inquisition needed him. Guilt twisted her gut, and she averted her gaze. “I don’t know…”

She yearned to reach for him. Take his hand. But she was no one. She was nothing to him, except a bringer of bad news. She could never be his reason to stay. 

The fate of his orb weighed on her conscience. In the end, there was nothing for him here except the loss of the one thing that could restore his people. Her heart throbbed, and she clenched her hands in her lap.

Finally, Solas’s eyes settled on her face and he must have seen something there that made him pause. “There must be a way to recover the orb. Do you believe this to be in the realm of possibility?”

“I don’t know. Maybe? Changing the future may be possible, but it’s not always a good thing.”

“My orb is the culmination of years of effort beyond anything you could understand,” he said darkly. “And now it is in the hands of a corrupted Magister. Wouldn’t you do anything in your power to stop tragedy before it happened? This is not what I intended when I set in motion events that would change everything for the elven people, even to their very existence. They are mere shells of what they once were, completely unaware of the truth of their own history.” He shook his head. “Corypheus must not be allowed to retain control of the orb.”

“I know you’re upset, but I’m not sure there’s anything you can really do. My telling you this has probably already changed something.” She pressed away the weight that lodged in her chest. “And I know what you’re doing for the elves. You want to restore what was lost and right the wrongs of the past. I get that. The Elvhen were fighting so you locked them away and created the Veil. But it separated them from the Fade’s magic, and they lost their immortality. I can’t imagine how it must’ve felt to wake up centuries later and realize what happened. And that you caused it. So you can call me anything, just not ignorant.”

Solas hesitated, then said, “I have not met anyone, much less a mortal human, who could begin to understand what happened. It has been… an isolated existence, to put it mildly.”

“A lot of people see you as a villain, but I think you’re just a person who was faced with a really hard choice. You made the best decision you could.”

“The result was so far removed from what I anticipated. It should not have happened.”

“I’m sorry. I really am. I don’t know exactly what will happen in the future, but I want to help if you think it’ll do any good.”

He studied her with an inscrutable look. “It has been some time since I’ve discussed my history with anyone. I appreciate the effort you’ve made to assist me so far, and I would be pleased to see our partnership continue. In return, I would like to help you find a way to return to your world. I would not have believed such a phenomenon to be possible, and yet here you are. I would be more than willing to do some research on the subject.”

“Partnership, huh? Thanks.” She smiled, eyelids drooping. “I don’t think you’re going to find anything about interdimensional travel in the Fade, but you’re certainly welcome to try.” Slouching against the wall, she let out a long sigh. “I don’t know what else to do. See it to the end? What if it doesn’t end? As you can see, I have no idea.”

“When you say ‘the end,’ to what are you referring?”

She blinked. “The Inquisition wins, but that’s as far as the story goes where I come from. Maybe it would be the end of my time here, too. But I don’t know.”

Solas hesitated before standing and moving across the room. “It is late and I have kept you awake long enough. Either way, we will be unable to resolve these difficulties in one night.” He removed his green wool vest from a peg on the wall and approached her. She stood and turned, allowing him to slip it over her shoulders. “I believe Minaeve has an available cot in her cabin,” he said. “Several others bunk there, but I’m confident she wouldn’t mind a guest.” As Brianna turned to face him, he looked her over. “I may not have the answers you’re looking for, but you have my assistance as long as you need it.”

“Thank you. I’m just glad I don’t have to do this on my own. For now, I want to help you. And hopefully, someday, I’ll figure out a way to get home.” 

He opened the door for her, following her out into the night. Snow swirled around them. “If you inform the Herald of your circumstances, I believe she would be willing to assist you, and a place would most certainly be made for you.” 

Staying with the Inquisition? Telling them how she got here? Even if travel through the eluvian was limited to one direction, if anyone found it… It was too dangerous. The finality of that realization settled in her gut.

Solas walked with her across to Minaeve’s cabin and rapped on the door. A few moments later, it squeaked open and a sleepy face squinted back at them, framed by tousled brown hair and pointed ears. “Solas…?”

“Mineave, this is Brianna.” He paused. “An acquaintance of mine. She is visiting Haven for a time. Would you be able to put her up temporarily?”

Minaeve eyed Brianna’s clothing quizzically. “Of course,” she said, stepping back. “She will be taken care of.”

“Thank you,” Brianna murmured, shrinking under the elf’s scrutiny. As Minaeve disappeared back into the cabin, Brianna turned to face Solas, who lingered just outside the door. Bits of snow clung to his tunic, his jawbone necklace resting against his chest. Her heart ached. She would not put her family at risk. Not when she didn’t know the stakes. And now he was all she had, and he didn’t even know her. The unknown shivered and snarled somewhere in the dark above their heads. Solas was the most familiar thing in this world, and she yearned for him to stay. “See you tomorrow?”

He nodded. “I believe we still have much to discuss. I can arrange an introduction to the Herald for you in the morning.”

When he was gone, Brianna closed the door and easily found her cot against the wall. She slipped under the covers, curling into Solas’s vest. As she pressed the collar to her nose, she inhaled the scent of earth and parchment that was uniquely him.  _ What am I doing? In the game, he only ever has feelings for an elf. He wouldn’t look twice at me. Good job, me. Letting him break my heart already.  _ Tears rose unbidden in her eyes as the soft sounds of her slumbering bunkmates lulled her into a restless sleep.


	3. A Mirror Between - Chapter 3

**\- Chapter Three -**

**Easier Said Than Done**

  
  


The snow-covered trees sparkled in the morning sunlight. Brianna knocked on Solas’s door, gnawing her lip when only silence answered. She pulled Solas’s vest more closely around her and let herself in. The door clicked shut and she glanced around, memories from the night before replaying in her mind. She moved into the room, eyeing the rumpled bed covers. _Late riser_. The door opened and she jumped, kicking the table leg. She scowled at the bemused expression on Solas’s face.

“I see you’re still here.”

“Yeah… Are you surprised?”

When the silence lengthened, something shifted in his eyes. “Your presence here is an unprecedented occurrence. I was prepared for the possibility that you might not remain, intentionally or otherwise.” He hung his coat on the wall peg. “And I was not confident you would survive Minaeve’s morning broth.”

Brianna blanched. “Neither did I. I think she makes a better researcher than a cook.” Solas chuckled, and her cheeks warmed. 

He set some bread and dried fruit on the table. “In case Mineave’s broth wasn’t filling enough.”

Brianna eased into a chair and reached for a slice of bread. She raised an eyebrow at Solas propped against the wall, observing her. “Do you always stare at people with such intensity?”

“You certainly seem human.”

“You’re doubting my humanity now?”

“People do not tend to simply fall between realities, unless I am mistaken.”

“No, you’re right. I guess I did just sort of waltz in here and ask you to accept my existence. Wouldn’t have made it past the gate if I didn’t think you would, though.” She hesitated. “I guess I figured you would be the most understanding of… things.”

“I am still not certain why you did not go to the Herald and inform her of my true identity. You have seen the difficulties that arise in the future between myself and the Inquisition, and could have prevented them from taking place. So why come to me?”

 _Because I have a crush on you…?_ She wiped her hands on her jeans, not able to meet his curious gaze. “When I watched this timeline, I was able to see it over and over. I saw the Inquisition grow, and I loved the people who made it what it was. I know what makes them happy, what their goals are, their fears…” An image of a cold tombstone flashed through her mind, inscribed with Solas’s greatest fear. _Dying alone._ “Our situations are kinda similar. You’re hiding what you are and where you’re from. You have a goal few would understand.”

“Is that why you are here?” he asked. “You have a goal few would understand?” 

She wasn’t sure how to answer that. “To help you, at least. You actually have a reputation for being a complete ass in my world, but I figured I could try anyway.”

He studied her doubtfully, but remained silent.

Brianna grinned at him, unfazed. “You don’t need to be all dark and mysterious all the time, you know. Communicate more. Just tell the Inqui- _Herald…_ how you feel and what you are. She cares about you. I’m sure she’ll understand.”

He frowned, the tiny scar above his brow tightening. “How I feel?”

“You know… How you _feel_ about her.”

His lips formed a thin line. “She is a woman with her own ideas who will doubtless make her mark on the world, regardless of the opinions of others.”

“Oh, right,” Brianna muttered. _Then there’s this side of you._ “Just because other people think differently than you doesn’t mean you have to write them off as a lost cause.”

“She is irrational and headstrong and puts herself at risk needlessly.”

“Sounds like quite the person.”

“She is the only one capable of sealing the Breach! The Inquisition is unstable, and if she dies, the orb would be lost. Corypheus would only use it for his own ends, plunging Thedas into chaos and ruin. All my efforts would be in vain.”

“Ugh, relax! Listen, introduce me to the Herald and I’ll do what I can to smooth things out.” By the way he looked at her, she figured he doubted her abilities. “Hey, I’m doing my best here. It’s not like I travel between worlds on a regular basis, solving everyone’s problems.”

Solas stood with a shake of his head. “I believe you are unaware of just how dangerous it is for you to involve yourself.”

“Trust me, I know it’s dangerous, but I can help if you give me a chance.”

“The sooner you meet the Herald, the sooner I can find a way to recover my orb,” was his only reply as he lifted his coat from the peg.

“Wait. If she likes me, do you think I could really be part of the Inquisition?” she asked.

“That would be for the Herald to decide,” he replied, practically pushing her out the door. “And if you wish to remain with any hope of normalcy, I would suggest finding an alternative to your current-” He gestured vaguely at her person.

She turned, walking backwards to shoot him a confused look, then glanced at herself. “Oh. I guess I don’t look very Ferelden or Orlesian, do I? Good point.” She turned, hobbling down the path and hugging Solas’s vest. “And you’re not getting this back.”

“I relinquish it into your possession until suitable replacements are found.”

 _Okay, chill. You’re being obvious._ Brianna crossed her arms, her gaze everywhere except on him.

They passed the tavern and walked into the yard just inside the main gate. Brianna caught sight of a tawny dwarf seated on a bench, gently polishing a spectacular crossbow.

“Morning, Chuckles!” he called out, eyes landing on Brianna. “Who do we have here?”

She extended her hand eagerly. “Brianna. You’re a great author, Varric.”

“Ah… Always glad to meet a fan,” he replied, returning the handshake. “This elf a friend of yours?”

“Yeah, I guess you could say that.”

He smiled easily. “I didn’t realize Chuckles had any friends.”

“I was hoping to introduce her to the Herald, Varric,” Solas interjected. 

Brianna beamed.

Varric’s pale brown eyes twinkled as he laid his crossbow, Bianca, in his lap, running a cloth across the arms. “Good luck with that. She’s disappeared again.”

Solas ran a hand over his head, his mouth a firm line.

Brianna glanced between them. “I take it this isn’t unusual?”

With a shrug, Varric clapped the crossbow closed and slung it over his shoulder, pocketing the cloth. “So she likes to wander the local woods. I don’t really have a problem with that.”

Brianna imagined a slip of a girl in a bright forest, meandering through beams of dappled sunlight. “Sounds idyllic.”

“She neglects her duties to the Inquisition, wandering without a word to anyone. She should at least notify Cassandra of her activities. What if she were needed?” 

“Take it easy, Chuckles. I can understand needing to get away from the noise for a few hours.”

Solas’s gaze was fixed on the woods beyond the open gates.

 _In love already?_ Brianna released a dreamy, exuberant sigh, eliciting a strange look from him. “Know when she’ll be back?”

“That’s anyone’s guess. You plan on sticking around to meet her?” Varric asked. “She’s a force to be reckoned with.”

“Brianna has talents that would interest the Herald a great deal,” Solas added without missing a beat. “I plan on recommending her to the Inquisition for as long as she wishes to stay.”

Warmth spread through her chest and she blushed.

“Interesting…” Varric glanced between them and shot Brianna a roguish wink. 

She guessed he saw more than she intended.

“Utter nonsense!” Cassandra fixed her eye on Brianna. “Do you realize how this sounds? Travelling between worlds… The only experience we have with something like this is demons crossing over from the Fade!”

Brianna shrank under the seeker’s scrutiny. “I’m not a demon! I didn’t even know this world existed in real life. Believe me, I’m just a regular person.”

Cassandra laughed incredulously. “Regular people don’t appear out of the _Fade_.”

Josephine cleared her throat quietly from the other side of the room, her dark hair glistening in the light from a nearby candle. “Perhaps we can discuss this reasonably.”

“How can you believe such a story? Cullen, surely you see the folly in this.”

The commander shifted on his feet. “I’ve never heard of such a thing before, but she doesn’t strike me as dangerous.”

Brianna pretended to be interested in the wall. _Dangerous… That’s funny._

Leliana, the Inquisition’s spymaster, leaned against the wooden table, the map of Ferelden and Orlais spread beneath her hands. “Tell us about what you can do.”

Brianna took a deep breath. “I know things… in the future.”

“My point stands.”

“You have not heard all she has to say, Cassandra,” Leliana said.

Brianna focused on Josephine’s encouraging smile. “I know about the explosion at the Conclave and Justinia’s death, and I watched the Herald seal her first rift and discover Haven. I also know the names of the companions she recruits to help seal the rifts, even the ones she hasn’t met yet.”

Cullen regarded her with a mix of apprehension and curiosity. “Do you know what the Inquisition’s next move should be?”

“You’re encouraging this, Commander?” Cassandra asked, concern furrowing her brow.

“I need to know where in the timeline I am. You’re still in Haven, so that narrows it down some...”

Cullen looked confused and Josephine was exchanging not-so-subtle looks with Cassandra.

Brianna rubbed her palms on her jeans, staring at the floor. “I’m sorry. I really am. I know this is weird. It’s just… I had a life back where I came from. A family _._ I was terrified when I ended up here and saw the Breach. I’ve never been through anything like this before.” She glanced around the room and her shoulders sagged. “I know how hard it gets and how hard you fight to keep the world from falling apart. You guys are amazing, but maybe I can help make the whole thing a little easier. If you don’t want my help, that’s fine. I just wanted to try.” 

Cassandra straightened, pursing her lips. “You have seen the Herald seal the Breach?”

“Yes, but the Breach isn’t the main problem.” 

“What do you mean?”

“Do you know what caused the explosion at the Conclave?”

Leliana said, “The Herald was found in the rubble, with the mark on her hand, but we do not believe she is responsible.”

“She isn’t. She tried to save Justinia.” All eyes locked on her. “Justinia was being held by a darkspawn magister named Corypheus as part of a ritual he was starting to unlock a powerful orb. When the Herald interrupted, Justinia kicked the orb out of Corypheus’s hand. The Herald picked it up and that’s how she got the anchor. The orb is what caused the explosion, not the Herald.”

After several moments of heavy silence, Cassandra said, “So Divine Justinia really is gone?” 

Shadows flickered in Leliana’s eyes. 

The weight of Justinia’s death hung over the room. It meant so much more to them then she could ever understand. 

Cullen sighed deeply, rubbing the back of his neck. “You say this Corypheus still has the orb? And who is he exactly?”

“Whoever he is,” Cassandra said darkly, “he will pay for the Divine’s death.”

“I don’t know a lot about the orb,” Brianna hedged, “but Corypheus is a Tevinter magister that has… blight magic in him somehow? He was there when the explosion killed all those people at the Conclave. And he _survived_. He’s able to take the body of another tainted person. But that’s about as much as I know.”

“Considering what you went through to come here,” Josephine said gently, “we appreciate that you’re willing to give us this information.”

“I don’t know if I’ve made things worse or better,” Brianna admitted. 

She was silent for a moment before she said, “Even if events transpire in a similar fashion to what you have witnessed, the fact that we are more aware, and have an idea of what to expect, makes it easier to plan for the future. With the responsibility we carry for so many lives, having this information could mean the difference between a restless night, or knowing we did what we could to achieve the best outcome.”

Altering the Inquisition’s future was a very real possibility now. Brianna had insisted to Solas that she could make a difference. She clenched her sweaty palms. _Easier said than done._ “By the way, where is she? I’ve never seen her miss a meeting.” She caught the glances exchanged between the council members. “Her solitary expeditions a regular thing?”

“She spends much of her time in the woods,” Leliana supplied. “My people report no unusual behavior. I believe the Herald is sometimes overwhelmed by the responsibilities that have recently been laid on her shoulders, and that she walks to clear her mind.”

“Well, if I had a weird mark on my hand that hurt like hell every time the Breach sneezed, then yeah, I’d wanna think about it, too. She never asked for this.”

“I’m concerned about how unreachable she is when she just disappears without telling anyone,” Cassandra insisted. “She puts everyone in danger by being absent.”

“Not everyone is a toughie like you, Cassandra,” Brianna said. “Some people have more sensitive natures.”

“Sensitive natures!” Cassandra barked out a laugh.

Brianna scratched her nose. “Well, that’s all I got. Give her a memo or something.”

“About the mages and templars,” Cullen said. “Do you know which she will choose?”

“That’s gonna be up to her. Once she makes her decision, I can tell you more about what will happen.”

“I believe we have a plan, then,” Leliana said. “We appreciate what you have done so far.” She smiled. “Welcome to the Inquisition, Brianna.”

After the meeting, Brianna escaped to the bunkhouse. “Oh gosh… I lived! Maybe this’ll actually work! Wouldn’t that be amazing?” Catching a whiff, she made a face and sniffed. “Ugh, is that me?” Her last hot shower was days ago and the basin of frigid lakewater that sat by the front door was all but inviting. She eyed it critically. “Is that what passes for a bath in Thedas? That’s disturbing.” 

Gritting her teeth, she stripped hastily and scrubbed. Once she was presentable, she tied her hair back and crossed the path to Solas’s cabin, teeth rattling. She hurried inside, soaking up the warmth radiating from the fireplace. “I’m back and in one piece!” 

“I take it the meeting was a success.”

“Yeah… It was a lot, though. I think they’re not sure what to make of me.” Solas sat hunched over his desk, and she peered over his shoulder, eyes twinkling. “So I guess I’m part of the Inquisition now. Still not really sure how that happened.”

“I’m pleased to hear it.” He sat back, running a hand over his face.

“Everything okay?”

“Do you know if there will be an opportunity to recover my orb in the future?”

“Still thinking about that?” _Of course you are._

“Its loss would be a tragedy beyond comprehension. This is something I cannot allow to transpire.”

“If you had it back, what would you do? I know you want to tear down the Veil for the ancient elves, but what would that mean for everyone else?”

He stood, surprise flickering across his features. “That is something you could not possibly understand. Sometimes, extreme measures must be taken for the greater good.”

“The greater good? You mean for the Evanuris, or whoever your people are. What about everybody else?” 

Solas stepped around her and strode from the cabin. His attempts to out-distance her failed as she followed him through Haven and into the forest. 

“I bet you don’t even know if it would help or do any good at all. Do you really know exactly what would happen if you brought magic back?”

“Do you?”

“No…”

“Again. You’re speaking of something you cannot comprehend,” he snapped. “The mistake is mine. I must be the one to make it right.”

“You’re unbelievable! You don’t even know yourself what the result would be! Removing the Veil would create chaos all over Thedas. You know that. Are you even ready to deal with the consequences?” She jogged ahead and put out a hand to stop him. Dark anger flashed in his stormy eyes, his hands fisted at his sides.

Brianna bit her lip. “Hey, wait. I don’t mean to make you upset or anything. Just… I’m sorry, okay? I just don’t want you to do anything rash.”

“It was my recklessness that led to the formation of the Breach,” he said bitterly, “so yes, I am acutely aware of the nature of my past decisions. Thank you for the reminder.”

She winced against the cutting words, but fidgeted to mask her embarrassment.

Solas stared at the snowy mountains across the lake. “Why are you following me, Brianna? What do you want?”

He probably didn’t want her there. The rejection stung, but she pushed it aside and said the first thing that came to her. “I didn’t want you to be alone. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I don’t have answers. I just… wanted you to know that.”

The silence stretched so long, Brianna thought he wasn’t going to reply. But then he turned to her, his expression grim. “Have you seen my future? After the Inquisition?”

“Kind of? They do eventually find out who you are.” She had seen the teaser for the fourth game. Now she wished she hadn’t. “And… there’s fire.”

“As there always has been in the path I must take.”

Brianna trailed him silently back to Haven. As she stared at the back of his head, she wanted nothing more than to help. But he was an elven god, and she, nothing more than a moment in the ages of his lifetime. What could she possibly do for him? Maybe she cared too much. She had always cared too much.

When they reached his cabin, she expected him to close the door in her face, but he left it open. For the rest of the day, she curled up on his bed and watched as he sat at his desk, head bent over a mess of papers. Dusk was falling when he turned in his chair and noticed her.

“You’re still here.” 

She traced patterns on his bed cover. “My sister and I were home together one day. She was trying to convince me to ‘follow my dreams’ and figure out what I wanted to do with my life. My family was everything to me. I had always taken care of them. But that one time, I considered it. Finding my place in the world. But I couldn’t leave.” Solas sat very still across the room as Brianna pulled herself to a sitting position. “I _had_ to stay. Staying is what I do.”

“Forgive me for earlier. I know you meant well.”

“Someone has to look out for you.”

“And that person is you?”

Brianna stood with a rueful smile. “Always has been.”

She didn’t sleep that night.


	4. A Mirror Between - Chapter Four

**\- Chapter Four -**

**Daring to Hope**

  
  


Brianna hefted the axe over her shoulder, swinging into the log with a crack. “Can’t split these damn things to save my life,” she grumbled. After playing elfroot-collecting simulator for hours thanks to Adan, Cassandra had sent her out to the logging stand. 

“Accompanying the Herald to Therinfal Redoubt is out of the question,” Cassandra had said with a skeptical glance at Brianna’s slim arms, “unless you have some skill with a blade I am unaware of.” 

“Please let me come, at least this once. I can help and give advice, or whatever you need. Just because I’m not physically strong doesn’t mean I’m not useful.”

Cassandra had started to turn away, shaking her head.

“Teach me then. How to use a sword, I mean.”

“It takes hours of practice and hard work. Are you sure you’re up to the challenge?”

“Try me.”

Brianna yanked the axe out of the log, nearly losing her balance. “Insert disgusted noise here. Didn’t know I’d have to do  _ this _ .” She swung the axe again, grunting as it glanced off the log. “I always worked so hard to find you little logging stands, but now I know why you’re in the most obscure places. No one likes you!” 

A couple weeks had passed since her arrival in Thedas. Every day, she had collapsed into bed sore, smelly, and fingers stained green from elfroot. Every day, she had passed Solas on her way to the tavern. They would exchange brief conversations and pleasant nods, but Cassandra was a ruthless instructor. She had rebuffed all her excuses when Brianna had shown up late for practice one day after spending an extra minute with Solas. 

“Definitely got more than I bargained for.” The axe blade whooshed through the air, shaving kindling off the side of the log. With a shout of frustration, Brianna flung the axe into the woods. “Stupid log!”

“Ow! Damn!”

Brianna jumped, wincing as she peered in the direction her axe had flown. “Uh… Hello?” 

A towering qunari woman stalked out of the trees, covered head to toe in form-fitting leather armor. Brianna backed up several paces, eyes wide. The woman gripped the axe, a gloved hand over her left eye. With the other, she speared Brianna with a venomous look and stormed over to her, shaking the axe in her face. 

“What the hell?!” she shouted, golden eye sparking.

“I’m sorry!” Brianna cowered. “It was... self-defense!”

“I wasn’t anywhere near you!”

“Not you… The log wouldn’t split. So I threw the axe.”

The giant woman shook her horns, lowering her hand to reveal bruising on her brow. A trickle of blood leaked from a small cut. “You make no sense at all. At least the blade didn’t hit my head. That would’ve been inconvenient.”

“Yeah, sorry…” Brianna scratched her nose and stared. The woman was tall, powerful, with straight white hair that brushed her wide shoulders _. _ Yellow-gold eyes stood out against stone-colored skin, like suns in a storm cloud.

She crossed her muscular arms. “Not like I don’t have a thousand scars already. Who has you out here splitting wood when you’re obviously incompetent? Cassandra most likely.”

Brianna straightened. “I want to go questing with the Herald, but I need to be able to defend myself.” She started when the woman let out a deep laugh that rang across the snow.

“You? Hold a blade? Unlikely!”

She ducked her head again. “Laugh all you like, I’ll get it eventually.” Grabbing the axe from her hand, she stalked over to the stump, planting the log in place.

“Hold.” The qunari stepped beside Brianna. “You’re holding it wrong. It’s just going to flail around in your hands if you swing it like that. When you bring the blade down, you need to move your arms and back at the same time, in one swing.” She demonstrated the stance. “Otherwise, you’ll be fighting the same log for an hour.” With a wink, she said, “Good tip for taking off heads, too. Swing like I showed you, and you can snap the neck in one go. With bigger muscles, of course.”

“I…” Brianna caught the conspiratorial twinkle in the qunari’s eyes and she breathed a laugh. “Thanks, I guess?”

“You’re peculiar. Who are you?”

“Brianna. I’m a friend of Solas’s. I’m here to help the Inquisition.”

“Neirah. I’m also here for the bloody Inquisition. Someone has to fix that hole in the sky, so may as well be us, right?”

Noticing the tension in Neirah’s posture, the smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes, Brianna offered a warm smile. “Don’t worry. The Inquisition wins.”

Neirah lifted an eyebrow. “How would you know?”

“That’s why I’m here.” Brianna met her probing gaze. 

“You’re a strange one, Brianna. Stick around, and try not to die.” Neirah headed for the woods and called back, “You may not be completely incompetent after all!”

Brianna made a face as Neirah disappeared into the trees. “Not completely incompetent, my ass,” she grumbled. “Says the qunari goddess.” She eyed the perched log with disdain. “Pointless! Completely pointless!” She gripped the axe with both hands and swung hard.

\---

The chantry was shrouded in silence when Brianna entered, broken only by hushed murmurs and the rustling of robes. She headed for the council room to meet Cassandra when she noticed a stately figure poised by one of the stone pillars, observing her. She gulped. Which was worse: attempting to dodge Cassandra’s sword and failing miserably, or the inevitable sting of Vivienne’s scathing disapproval? 

“I believe we have not been formally introduced. I am First Enchanter Vivienne, but if the rumors about you are correct, introductions are not entirely necessary.”

“I’m Brianna. Yeah, I know some things.”

“Indeed.” Vivienne’s narrow skirts swished around her ankles as her shrewd gaze moved over her. “From what I hear, you’re not from Thedas, but I have not been apprised of the full story. So tell me. The Anderfels? Or further perhaps?”

“I’m from… another world, actually.”

Vivienne’s graceful neck moved as she cocked her head. “Now that’s a tale you don’t hear every day. I find it curious that you are so willing to divulge that information. You’ll forgive me if I have my doubts, although I imagine such a journey would be a remarkable one.”

“I still can’t believe it myself, to be honest. One day, I was home, and the next, I had accidentally fallen into Thedas.”

“A questionable world indeed if its citizens are thrown willy nilly from one realm to the next.”

“Oh, that was my fault. Where I come from is pretty safe compared to Thedas. There aren’t any Blights or darkspawn, and we’re not constantly fighting in wars or dealing with sickness. It’s definitely safer there.”  _ Though not particularly exciting…  _

“How curious,” she said, interest flickering in her gaze. “Is it common for the inhabitants of your realm to have knowledge of the future of other worlds?”

“I guess some do?”

“A fascinating, but gravely concerning notion. For anyone to possess such knowledge is dangerous, no matter how pure their intentions may be.”

Brianna shifted on her feet. “Well, it’s not really considered ‘seeing into the future’ because it’s assumed you can’t travel to places like Thedas. I hadn’t known it was even possible to get here. But I knew enough that I felt like I could help if I had the chance.”

Vivienne regarded her doubtfully. “You’re playing a very dangerous game, Brianna. You may not realize it, but the council has placed a great deal of responsibility for the future of the Inquisition into your hands. Your advice will shape their decisions.” Her lips curled in a wry smile. “The Inquisition attracts the most peculiar individuals. I can’t say I feel entirely comfortable placing my faith in a child who claims to have fallen out of the sky, but I was told the information you provided so far has been correct. I’m curious to see how long that will last before your influence changes more than people’s opinions of your appearance here.”

Of course Vivienne was right. Brianna knew things might change because of her, but it hadn’t seemed like anything more than a vague possibility until now. 

\---

That afternoon, on her way back from sparring practice, she found Solas seated on a bench against the wall of his cabin, absorbed in a tome on his lap. She watched him just long enough to be creepy as he turned a page.

“Is there some way I can assist you?” he asked without looking up. “Or are you accustomed to keeping your associates under such close observation?”

“Ugh, sorry.” Brianna shuffled over to the bench and plopped down beside him. “Just distracted, I guess.” When Solas didn’t reply, she went on. “I met Vivienne this morning. She’s intense. I’m not sure she thinks it’s a good idea if I tell the Inquisition what I know.”

“It is true that revealing someone’s future and giving them that knowledge does not follow the natural course of events, but choosing whether or not to share the information you possess is ultimately your decision. The council has appreciated your assistance so far.”

“When I thought I could stay and help until I found a way to go home, I guess I hoped it would be for good rather than not.”

Solas’s brow lowered, almost imperceptibly. “Your determination is admirable, but even the best intentions are regarded with disdain if misunderstood.” He hesitated. “If you were unable to return using the method that originally brought you here, do you think you would be able to find a suitable alternative?”

She hesitated. “I was going to say I didn’t think so. But before, I would’ve said being here at all was impossible. So, maybe?”

“You are concerned about your family.”

_ He remembered _ . “I’ve always taken care of them. Especially after my mom’s accident.”

He tipped his head to look at her. 

Brianna stared at her boots, scuffing them through the snow. “She was at work when we got a call. The doctors said she had a stroke, but I don’t know. It was different. It changed her.” Leaning back, she rested her head against the wall. “When she was released from the hospital, she was desperate to talk to me. She kept repeating words and I guess it scared me a little. Over time, it wasn’t so bad, but she wasn’t the same.”

Solas’s fingers shifted against his tome. “I’m sorry. I am sure she still cared for you. A parent’s love for a child cannot change.”

“I know. It’s just… ” Brianna shrugged, shoving down the weight in her chest. “I was just so sure I’d be home forever with her. I never resented her for that. It was familiar anyway. But I wanted Cynthia to be able to do something with her life. If I’m not there… She was always braver than me. I just wanted her to have that chance.”

“You care for them a great deal.”

“We were always really close. I hope they’re okay…” Brianna stopped short as Vivienne appeared at the top of the steps, trailing past them towards Adan’s shop. 

“I was unaware of your family’s circumstances,” she said. “You have my deepest condolences, my dear.”

Brianna blinked. “She’s mostly okay. The doctors said she could still live a long, happy life with the right treatment.”

Vivienne paused. “And what is this treatment you speak of?”

“I don’t know a lot about medicine, but it can give someone another chance at life. It doesn’t work every time, of course. But most times? Yeah. If my mom lived here, she wouldn’t have survived her accident. No one should have to lose someone they care about.”

“A naive, yet sweet sentiment. Life is often not so kind as to allow us such fantasies. The things we desire from life are more often achieved with persistence and struggle than simply wishing it so.”

“I think that’s true in any world,” Brianna agreed. “Just hoping things improve won’t get you anywhere. But dreams are what make life worth living. Without them, you lose something. They give you a reason to live, a purpose.” 

Solas glanced at her, but remained silent.

“I do not wish to disappoint you,” Vivienne said, “but in my experience, dreams are often fleeting, leaving one empty and disillusioned when unfulfilled. Time is a cruel master that destroys what we love most. To act is far superior to simply wishing yourself a more acceptable reality.” 

Brianna shrugged. “Both are important, I think.”

“Then tell me. What dreams did you have before arriving here? As I understand it, you sacrificed any personal ambition you might have had on the altar of good intentions.”

Brianna pursed her lips.

“Did you dream of escape? To be free of the responsibility you were burdened with? Anything can be a cage if we allow it, no matter how comfortable it may be.”

“I don’t believe that is for you to say, Vivienne,” Solas said mildly. “Brianna made her decision. I would recommend against questioning someone’s choice when we don’t know the circumstances surrounding the situation.”

“You’re hardly one to speak on the subject when all your time is wasted on dreams that have no relevance to the here and now. They are fruitless pursuits that leave one emptier than before.”

“Does that mean you have dreams, Vivienne?” Brianna asked innocently. “Before you became a frosty badass that pretends not to care about anyone, I mean. Was it love? Was there someone who swept you off your feet and made you feel  _ alive _ ?”

Vivienne’s eyes flashed. Without a backward glance, she turned and disappeared inside Adan’s shop. 

Solas watched her go. “I do believe you made our resident First Enchanter uncomfortable.”

Was that admiration in his voice? She ducked to hide a grin. “Knowing too much about people has its perks, I guess.”

“So you are aware of someone in Vivienne’s life that she cares about.”

“Yeah, he’s pretty sick. She may seem like she doesn’t care about people, but I think she really loves him.” She planted her feet on the bench, hugging her legs to her chest. “So, what about you? Have any dreams besides saving your people and the next time you get to have a nap?” she teased.

Solas bowed his head, none of Brianna’s buoyancy reflected in his expression. “I awoke a year ago to find the world I had known completely changed. I struggle to imagine a higher priority than the restoration of what has been lost due to the careless mistakes of a younger elf.”

She leaned forward to peer at him, lowering her feet to the ground. “Hey… Don’t be sad. We’ll figure it out.”

“I have often wandered the memories of the Fade,” he said, “catching glimpses of wishes and hopes that went unanswered. Though unfortunate, they possessed a kind of tragic beauty that remains after another’s fulfillment has been forgotten.”

“That doesn’t have to be you.” Lowering her voice, she whispered, “Even elven gods are allowed to have dreams, you know.” When he met her gaze, she smiled. “Isn’t there anything you ever wanted, just for you? Not because it was the right thing to do, or because someone thought you should. But because it was something  _ you  _ wanted and that made life worth living? That if you had that one thing, it would make all the struggle and heartache worthwhile?”

Whether or not he intended it, she saw the answer plainly in the heaviness around his eyes. After centuries of uprisings, wars, and countless mistakes, maybe he had given up on the possibility of finding a bit of happiness in life. The thought broke her heart. 

Instead, he asked, “Do you?”

“My dreams? Well, my first one would probably be to find a way to get you to smile at me, since you never do. That would be nice.”

Solas leaned in, stopping her with the press of his hand against hers. He stared into her eyes and his lips curved in a slow smile. Lifting a brow, he asked, “Is this what you had in mind?”

Brianna jerked away, almost toppling off the bench. “Uh,  _ no! _ Smiling doesn’t have to mean getting up in a girl’s personal space, you know!”

“If you insist.” 

He smirked and she made a face at him. “Fine. Be your weird, brooding self. And that was only half a smile. I’ll get a real one eventually…” She gave him the side-eye. “...Freckles.”

“I believe Varric already has an alternative to my given name.”

“Oh, I know. But someone as moody as you deserves all the nicknames. Of course, I could just call you Fen. Or Fenny.”

“No.”

Brianna giggled. “I think you secretly like the attention.”

“I am unaware of what gave you that impression.”

But when she peeked at him, she caught the barest twitch of his lips, and her traitorous heart skipped a beat. She stood a little too quickly, tripping over her feet. “Well, I gotta go meet the council now or I’ll be late, so we’ll catch up later, okay?” Before he could respond, she fled to the chantry.  _ Why am I like this? _ She let out a gusty sigh as she entered, crossing to the war room.  _ If I’m not careful, he’s gonna figure out I-. _

The war room door opened, Josephine beckoning her inside with a bright smile.

The council drilled her for hours, a welcome distraction from her capricious emotions. She filled them in as best she could, wilting at the pain in Cassandra’s eyes when she told them that Lord Seeker Lucius had been replaced by an envy demon. 

“The templars must be conscripted for this!” Cassandra gripped the edge of the table, eyes flashing. “Surely they knew where such actions would lead. You’ve seen it yourself.”

“They were following orders,” Brianna countered. “They didn’t know the lyrium would turn them into… something not human.” She saw the strain in Cullen’s eyes as he swallowed.

The room was silent for several beats before Leliana said, “We appreciate what you’re doing to help the Inquisition, Brianna. If it is any consolation, Solas has spoken well of you and validated your knowledge of the Inquisition. I imagine having such insight cannot be easy. I’m curious if Therinfal will turn out as you predict.” 

_ Yeah. Me, too…  _


	5. Road to Therinfal

**\- Chapter Five -**

**Road to Therinfal**

  
  


“The Herald is… anxious.” Josephine sorted through a sheaf of papers on her desk. “The nobles have agreed to back the Inquisition, but gaining their support was not her first choice. She expressed an interest in pursuing other avenues of support, so Seeker Pentaghast and I informed the Herald of your knowledge of the Inquisition’s future.”

Brianna stared at her. “What did she say?”

“She had her doubts initially, but I believe her curiosity won out in the end.” She smiled, her eyes crinkling. “Good luck on your first journey, Brianna. The Herald will meet your party outside Therinfal.”

_ Wow, they told her about me!  _ Brianna exited Josephine’s study, grinning.  _ Now I  _ finally  _ have a real chance to help _ . Several chantry sisters shot her disapproving looks, and she coughed. 

“A word, my dear?”

“Lady Vivienne.” Brianna stopped in front of her.

Her cool, supercilious gaze swept her from head to toe. Apparently, she still hadn’t forgiven her for their last conversation. “You are not prepared for what you will face when the Herald confronts the templars,” Vivienne said bluntly. “Leave the politics to those who know how to handle such situations. This is the Herald’s chance to assert her influence. You are her guest and would do well to remember your place.”

_ Wow. I’m super offended right now…  _

“If I remember correctly, you were searching for a way to return home. Tell me, how is that coming?”

Brianna felt herself shrinking under her cold stare. “Fine… Solas is helping me.”

“I see. You are attracted to the hedge mage.” Cupping Brianna’s chin in her hand, something akin to pity came into her eyes as she said, “Love is a fickle thing. It clouds our judgment, distracting us from our true purpose. And here I thought we were in agreement on the dangers of dreams.” She offered Brianna a slow smile. “To feel affection for another is undeniably pleasant. What your attraction is to the elf, however, I cannot fathom.” 

Brianna squirmed, cheeks crimson.

Vivienne tightened her grip. “Try to stay out of trouble so that the Herald can perform her duty without distraction. She relies on Solas’s abilities and his experience where the rifts are concerned. We don’t need his attention divided, now do we?”

Brianna mumbled a hasty reply, escaping into the brisk air and sunshine. Hands cradling her warm cheeks, she trudged to the stables where Cassandra and Varric were waiting for her. “Sorry, got waylaid.” Brianna found her mount, a gentle bay with a thick, black mane. She inched closer, soaking in the warmth from its flank. 

“Not a problem,” Varric said with a wave of his hand. “Just waiting on one more.” When Brianna turned to check her horse’s saddle, she heard him laugh. “Well, look what we have here! Decided to join us after all, Chuckles?”

_ “You are attracted to the hedge mage.” _

Brianna hoisted herself into the saddle, shoving the thought aside. 

“Thank you for joining us, Solas,” Cassandra said from the top of her mount. “The Herald will be returning from the Storm Coast and meet us outside of Therinfal Redoubt to discuss the next steps. Brianna is accompanying us at her request.”

Brianna gaped at her.  _ Wait, she  _ asked _ for me? _ The party set out and her gaze collided with Solas’s. With a nod, he turned his horse down the trail ahead of her, his wrapped feet planted firmly in the stirrups, his back straight. She stared at the back of his head as a pang of jealousy hit her in the gut.  _ What the hell…? Jealous of a girl I haven’t even met. Get it together, he’s not yours.  _ Blowing out a slow breath, Brianna gripped the reins, her eyes on the ground. 

They passed Haven’s gates and followed the well-worn path into the snowy forest. Varric regaled them with tales of his adventures in Kirkwall, mixed with juicy tidbits about several Inquisition members. She realized after a while that it was for Cassandra’s benefit. After learning about the Lord Seeker’s fate, there had been a tension in Cassandra’s shoulders that nothing could dislodge. But Varric bore a triumphant grin as his jokes and impersonations smoothed Cassandra’s worry lines away. 

“You’re smiling.” Solas slowed his horse to ride beside her, his gaze following hers to the pair chatting amiably ahead of them. 

She lifted a shoulder and ducked her head. “I think Varric’s trying to get Cassandra to warm up to him. It’s special.” With a surreptitious glance in Solas’s direction, she took in the gentle slant of his eyes, the cleft in his chin, his fingers curled around the reins. 

Solas nodded, his attention returning to her. When he caught her staring, the corner of his mouth lifted.

_ Say something! Don’t just sit there like a stupid person!  _ “Um… Vivienne thinks we spend too much time together.” She groaned inwardly. 

“Lady Vivienne has singular ideas. But I’m disinclined to allow her opinions to dictate how or with whom I spend my time. Whether or not her concerns are warranted, I couldn’t say. However, it is true that there are times when we are together more often than not.” He tipped his head back with a wry smile that made her heart stutter. “Indeed, I cannot remember the last time a human made an effort to seek me out so exclusively. It is remarkable, to say the least.”

Brianna’s mouth went dry as heat crept up her neck. She fiddled with the reins, wondering why she always had to say the most idiotic things. When a whisper of cold brushed across her knuckles, she yanked her hands back with a yelp. Her horse snorted, chomping the bit.

“Bee sting you?” Varric tossed over his shoulder.

“I’m fine!” When she peeked at Solas out of the corner of her eye, he offered no acknowledgement, save for that same devilish smirk on his lips.

Brianna gulped, Vivienne’s admonition ringing in her ears. This was not going to end well.

xxx

“Keep your arm up when preparing to deflect a blow. Bend your elbow and don’t carry the tension in your wrist.” Cassandra demonstrated with her sword arm, the long blade glinting in the firelight. “If you move with your wrist rather than your shoulder, your dagger will be knocked from your hand.”

“Unlike you, I didn’t teeth on knives,” Brianna quipped, “so I’m sorry if it takes me a minute.”

Cassandra gave her a deadpan stare. “I was trained to use a sword when I was of age and aware of how to handle one properly.”

“It was a joke. How do you even know how to use knives if you fight with a sword all the time?”

“I am capable of using weapons other than a sword and shield. Now, keep your feet apart and move to the side before my blade hits, like I showed you.”

The sword swung towards her. Her knees locked and she threw her hands over her head.

Varric grinned from his seat by the campfire. “I’ve seen you at this for a while now, but you’re doing the same thing over and over, expecting something different to happen.”

Brianna grumbled, flexing her arm. She turned pleading eyes to Cassandra. “I want to be useful, I really do.”

Setting her jaw, Cassandra faced her. “Then we try again. Move to your left when the blade comes toward you.”

Brianna tracked the blade as it hummed through the air. She hissed as her knees locked and she stumbled backwards, landing on her ass in the dirt. Varric laughed, and she glared at him. “I’d like to see the nimble dwarf try.”

“You wound me.” Varric clutched his heart in mock pain. “I’ll have you know I’m quite nimble when I want to be. But hand to hand combat isn’t my specialty. Bianca and I like to keep our distance.”

“I’ve been practicing all week. For hours! But I still can’t get it right.”

“All week? Listen, some people spend  _ years _ trying to master a weapon.” He took her in with a look. “Just… Just keep at it.”

“Okay, so I haven’t exercised much.” She crossed her arms and fidgeted with her dagger. “Where I come from, people don’t really need to move around much to… you know… survive?” She winced as she hobbled towards the campfire. “And my butt hurts so bad right now from being in a saddle all day.”

“Tell me about where you come from,” Varric said.

Cassandra sat perched on a log, cleaning her sword. Brianna rubbed the toe of her boot in the grass. “It’s  _ very _ different from here.”

“A different universe, right?”

She eased onto the grass beside him. “You sound like you almost believe it.”

“After all the shit that’s happened, with the Herald, the hole in the sky, red lyrium... a girl traveling between worlds doesn’t seem so crazy anymore. You have a family back home?”

“Yeah. They’re probably really worried about me.” Brianna stared into the fire. “I need to get back to them, but I don’t think I can go back the way I came. So I’m not really sure what to do.” 

“We’ll help you figure it out, don’t worry. Let’s start with how you got here.”

She felt Cassandra’s eyes on her and she swallowed. “I fell here, through a portal of some kind. And when I tried, I couldn’t go back through it.” She shook her head. “I thought this kind of thing was impossible. How am I supposed to do it again? Am I just supposed to wait and hope it fixes itself? My mom needs me.”

Brianna tensed when a new voice spoke behind her. “In spite of the undesirable circumstances, your arrival here has the potential for great benefit.” 

Solas stepped into the circle of firelight. He leaned on his staff, regarding her curiously. “Despite the fact that your presence here is unexpected and not in the normal course of events, despite the risk… You have willingly shared a knowledge of events that goes beyond what any of us, even Sister Leliana, is capable of. Normally, one cannot know the future. But you do. That makes you invaluable, both to the Inquisition and to the Herald.”

Brianna grimaced and scratched her nose. “No pressure.”

“Solas is right,” Cassandra said, sheathing her sword. “You successfully identified both Blackwall and the Iron Bull before the Herald met them, and were very familiar with the Inquisition’s beginning. Having that knowledge gives us an edge in our fight against Corypheus.”

Brianna nodded, but unease settled in her gut. 

“If you speak with the Herald, I’m sure she would be willing to help find a way for you to return home, if that is your wish.” An indiscernible look flickered in Solas’s eyes. “However, if you choose to stay, there is a place in the Inquisition for you.”

Some time later, before turning in for the night, Brianna approached Solas outside the tent he shared with Varric. “Here’s your vest back,” she said, pushing it into his hands. “Thanks for letting me temporarily steal it. It’s really warm.”

“Of course. I see you found some armor.”

“Cassandra had it made for me. She’s so sweet. I love it.” Brianna hugged herself, smiling.

Solas’s expression warmed.

Heart thrumming in her chest, Brianna tilted her head in his direction. “Thanks for what you said earlier. It meant a lot.”

“I realize all of this can be a difficult adjustment, but I meant every word.”

“You want me to stay?”

With a glance behind her, he lowered his voice. “I have not had the pleasure of sympathetic company in some time. My motives may be selfish, but I value our relationship and would be pleased to see it continue.”

_ Silly egg. _ Brianna was having a hard time meeting his eyes. “Me, too. But you never know… I might secretly be a spy, here to rat you out.”

“Somehow, I find that unlikely. You are an exceptionally transparent individual.”

“Oh, great. None of my secrets are safe. Thanks, I guess?”

His eyes found hers and they danced with amusement. “Unsafe indeed.” 


	6. Envy's Lair

**\- Chapter Six -**

**Envy’s Lair**

  
  


Therinfal Redoubt loomed large in the distance, cold and imposing. Templar banners bearing an upright sword sheathed in flame hung from the tall, stone walls. A light rain pattered on the leaves above them as Brianna waited with the others on the edge of the forest. She pulled the damp hair of her ponytail off the back of her neck and shifted uneasily. Solas stood nearby, arms crossed behind him as he studied his surroundings. 

“How long does she expect us to wait here?”

“Relax, Seeker,” Varric said as he inspected Bianca. “Diplomacy may not be her preference, but she’s got a chance to throw her weight around with some nobles. She’ll show.”

“Politics not her thing?” Brianna asked, grinning.

“Hates it would be a better way of phrasing that.”

“Damn right, I hate it,” a familiar voice barked through the trees. Moments later, a hulking figure stalked towards them. “Dumbass nobles and their pisspoor attempts at cajoling me into submission, so I’ll do whatever the hell they want me to. Ridiculous.”

Brianna turned. “Neirah?”

Cassandra looked between them sharply. “You’ve met the Herald?”

“Wait,  _ what? _ ” Brianna’s jaw dropped as she stared at the smirking qunari. “You’re…  _ her? _ ”

“What were you expecting, Peewee?” she laughed, crossing her powerful arms. “Some human brat? No offence.”

Solas’s head was turned in her direction, and her gaze skittered away.  _ The Inquisitor’s not an elf. How is she not an elf?  _

Neirah slung an arm around her shoulders in easy camaraderie. “Guess you know who I am now,” she drawled. “Secret’s out.”

“You’re her…”

“I think we’ve established that.” She chuckled. “Surprise you, did I?”

“I threw an axe at you.”

“You did what?!” Cassandra looked genuinely horrified.

Solas’s eyes crinkled as the corner of his mouth turned up.

Neirah waved a hand. “Not on purpose, Cassie, relax. Varric! How are you, you tiny bastard.”

“Keeping an eye on this one while she adjusts to things.”

“Isn’t she so small and adorable?” Neirah crushed Brianna against her. “And she has  _ powers _ .”

“They’re not really powers,” Brianna wheezed from the crook of Neirah’s arm. “I just know some thi-”

“Blah blah blah!” With a shove, Neirah sent Brianna stumbling into a tree. “Don’t sell yourself short. It’s damn useful.”

Dusting herself off, Brianna stared at her.

“So… Peewee person who knows everything.” Neirah winked at her. “Give us the rundown of what we’re expecting here. Cullen’s men are waiting west of the fort in case things go south. Tell me what I need to know.”

Brianna quickly filled her in on the ambush, fighting the red templars, meeting Cole in the Fade, and facing the Envy demon. 

Neirah listened, lips pursed in concern. She turned to Cassandra. “What do you think?”

“I think we will need to warn the nobles to stay out of harm’s way, but we will need to do so carefully, to avoid arousing suspicions.”

With a groan, Neirah rubbed the back of her neck. “Of course you’re right. Nobles are royal pricks, but we need them.” She turned back to Brianna. “I’m not easily impressed, but that was incredible, the sheer amount of information you just chucked at me.”

“Sorry, I know it’s a lot…”

Neirah clapped her on the back, and she staggered. “It’ll help, don’t worry. Stick with me, and we basically have our work cut out for us. Let’s head down there and see what trouble we can get ourselves into.”

“You’ve got this, Glowbug.” Varric shouldered Bianca, following her down the hill. 

“Glowbug?” Brianna’s gaze swung between them.

“He means my damn hand!” Neirah gave Varric a vulgar gesture and he laughed.

After sending a messenger to Cullen’s men with the details of their plan, the five of them approached the nobles gathered in front of the gate. 

“Ah, the fabled Herald of Andraste!” A man in a gold mask stepped forward, bowing with a flourish. “Lord Esmeral Abernache. We meet at last. It is not unlike the second dispersal of the reclaimed Dales. Shall we celebrate this… unusual yet fortuitous pairing?”

Neirah stiffened. “Save it for the Seeker. Where is he?”

“Awaiting your arrival, so I’m told. Apparently, there’s a big to-do, and you’re at the very center of it. Strange, all this excitement, given your surprising heritage.”

“I didn’t hear what you just said, and I’ll give you a piece of information you can thank me for later.” Neirah murmured something in his ear. Abernache went very still.

When Barris came out to meet them, Neirah nodded for the others to go ahead, and Brianna trailed them into the fort. As they passed the gates, a faint odor tickled her nose, masked by the rain and damp. Solas remained by her side, watchful and silent. He held his staff loosely, and though he said nothing to her, Brianna sensed protectiveness in his proximity. 

Several minutes later, Neirah appeared with Barris. It seemed Abernache had not been convinced to stay behind, but the other nobles remained outside the fort. When they got within earshot of her companions, Neirah turned to the templar. “Barris, act natural. The Lord Seeker is a demon.”

Brianna would’ve laughed if apprehension hadn’t gripped her then.

“What? Why did you not mention this before?” Fear shone in Barris’s eyes. He believed her.

“I’ll explain eventually. When the Knight-Captain enters this room…” She indicated the door nearby with her chin. “... we won’t give him a chance to talk.”

“You plan to attack.” Barris’s gaze flicked between them. “I do not know how you have this information, but something isn’t right within the templars’ ranks. I just didn’t imagine it would come to this. I will do what I can to aid you, Herald.”

They entered the room, and Brianna gagged as a powerful stench flooded her nostrils. The odor she had detected earlier stung her nose with a bittersweet tang like rotten limes. “Varric, what’s that smell?” she hissed. When he didn’t reply, she turned to repeat herself. Fear shone in his eyes. Her stomach lurched. They trusted her. But what if she was wrong? 

“Knight-Captain?” Barris turned as three templars marched into the room and approached the table.

“You were expecting the Lord Seeker,” Denam said, ignoring Barris. “He sent me to die for you.”

Abernache folded his arms with a glance at Neirah. “The Knight-Captain has seen better days, I assume? It is apparent he is unwell.” He moved to the door, surprisingly casual considering the circumstances. “Give the Lord Seeker my regards.”

No sooner had he left the room, that a look passed between Neirah and Cassandra.

“Templars, to me!” Neirah shouted, drawing her greatsword. “Denam’s mind is poisoned!”

Fighting erupted around them. Swords clattered and magic hissed through the air. Dislodging herself from her paralysis, Brianna threw herself behind a barrel, clutching her dagger to her chest. The shouts and clang of steel seemed far away, surreal. 

Solas stood several paces away, working his staff in sweeping arcs, his back to her. Every movement was both graceful and measured as he planted his staff on the floor, sending frozen shards hurtling through the air toward an unseen target.

The room stilled. Brianna stared at her dagger, vaguely aware of someone hauling her to her feet. She blinked, head swiveling to meet Cassandra’s grim gaze.

“Can you continue?”

Neirah pulled alongside her with a questioning glance. Brianna waved her away. “Follow Barris,” she croaked in a voice that hardly resembled her own. Horrified, she tore her gaze away from the scattered bodies, the blood pooling on the wooden floor, the red footprints she left behind.

Dazed, she stumbled along behind Neirah and the companions as they battled howling, crystallized monsters. Glittering spears of red lyrium sprouted through their flesh; twisted, flailing limbs wielding blades that sang against Neirah’s steel greatsword. 

When the group stumbled into the open air once more, the sun was shining overhead in stark contrast to the swarm of red templars that converged upon them. Brianna crouched behind a bush. There were so many of them. More than she had ever faced in the game. Concern and fear burned through her mind like acid, and she struggled to push it away. 

When the tall, wooden doors of the chantry loomed before them at last, Neirah swung around to meet Brianna’s gaze, panic in her eyes. Brianna nodded firmly.  _ You can do this. _

Setting her jaw, Neirah mounted the steps to approach the solitary figure at the top of the stairs. Lucius’s vicious smile greeted her as he grabbed her arms, pulling her backwards. With a puff of smoke, Lucius dematerialized, and a grotesque mass of pink limbs flopped to the ground. Staggering to its four twisted feet, it curled over itself, jaw gaping as it shrieked in Neirah’s face. The door blew open with a splintering crack. Fading to mist, the envy demon vanished behind a magical barrier that sparked and hummed at the opposite end of the chantry.

Brianna jogged towards Neirah. “Are you okay?”

Neirah was bent over, her hands on her thighs. With a grunt, she straightened, flexing her gloved hands. “Yeah, Peewee. Just golden. Fucking Fade shit, every time. But at least I got some warning.” With a smirk, she jabbed Brianna in the ribs, sending her staggering.

Brianna winced, following Neirah inside the chantry.  _ I guess that means thank you? _

“The Lord Seeker!”

“That’s not him, Barris.” Neirah’s clear voice rang through the chantry hall, drawing the attention of the beleaguered templars. “An envy demon took his form, but I swear I will end it.” She turned to Brianna. “Where’s Cole?”

“He’ll meet us at Haven.”

“Do you know him?”

“I know  _ about  _ him…”

Neirah watched her curiously. “He told me to look out for you, that you would help me.”

Brianna stared at her.

“Not like that wasn’t my intention already.” With a brief smile, Neirah breezed into the hall and called, “Where are Cullen’s men?”

“Here, Your Worship.” An Inquisition soldier stepped forward. “When we came in through the back entrance, we discovered some of the Templar officers defending themselves from the… The red ones, my lady.”

“Take me to them.”

Brianna watched Neirah move about the room, the thrumming barrier casting a sickly green glow on her grey skin. So many lay wounded and dying around them. Eyes full of fear and uncertainty followed her every move. She was not what they had expected. 

“Inquisition!” Neirah called, unsheathing her greatsword. “Time to clean this bastard up.” 

Brianna marveled at the confident turn of Neirah’s head, the purpose in her steps, the upward curve of her lips. Maybe she was a maverick, not what anyone else had expected. But right here, right now… This was where she belonged. She was a natural, and though the soldiers looked at her oddly, Brianna saw hope replace their fear.

They covered their next move and Brianna caught Barris watching her as Neirah went over the plan with the surviving templars. Brianna offered him a smile and he returned it warmly. When the soldiers were in position, Brianna crouched behind a pillar near the back of the room, her fingers locked around her dagger’s hilt. She prayed she wouldn’t have to use it.

The officers channeled their power into the barrier, and it disintegrated as Envy sprang forward with a terrible howl. Red templars swarmed into the chantry, nearly overwhelming the officers as they panicked. 

Something was wrong.


	7. Abruptly Changed

**\- Chapter Seven -**

**Abruptly Changed**

  
  


“Attack now!” Neirah called, leading the warriors into the fray while arrows rained down on the corrupted templars. 

Envy’s four arms swung wildly, sweeping the officers aside like rag dolls, it’s eyeless face focused on Neirah. With a throaty yell, she slashed at its stomach, leaping aside when one of its slender arms swung at her. 

Fear rushed through Brianna as the red templars continued to pour into the chantry. If this continued, they would be overrun. Brianna’s mind spun, unable to form a cohesive thought. She grit her teeth against the cries of the dying and Envy’s unearthly screeches, a wild cacophony that ricocheted off the high stone walls.

A shout rang out from the nearby scaffolding, a handful of archers surrounded by their corrupted brothers. With a speed that surprised her, Barris swung up the nearest ladder. Blood darkened his armor as he cleaved through the red templars with his sword, buying the archers more time. 

The Inquisition held their ground, and briefly, the tide appeared to turn in their favor. Brianna remained crouched behind the pillar, several yards behind Solas. Her knees burned from holding the same position, but she didn’t dare move. She almost lost her balance when a familiar crackling filled the space above their heads. Several templars spun wildly, looking for the source of the sound. 

“Neirah!” Brianna yelled, but her voice was drowned out as a jagged rift tore open in the middle of the chantry, spilling howling demons. From across the room, she saw the horror on Neirah’s face as the rift split open. Brianna lurched to her feet, stubbing her toe on the pillar as she rounded it. “Solas! Solas, we need to get Neirah to the rift!”

“Stay back, Brianna!” Solas called back, staff moving tirelessly. “Varric, send that group of soldiers over there to cover the Herald. Have them hold off the demon while she closes the rift.”

Wordlessly, Varric loaded Bianca and set off across the scaffolding. 

Simultaneously, several warriors rounded on the demon from behind, allowing Neirah a window to vault over the railing into the mass of demons below. Solas cast barrier after barrier, shielding Neirah from most of the claws and swords that swiped at her.

It wasn’t enough.

Neirah raised her hand, her mark threading with the rift for a moment before a demon knocked her to the ground.

Panic propelled Brianna forward, with no plan, no idea how to help. She jerked backwards as Solas grabbed her arm.

“What are you doing?!”

She tore loose. “Neirah’s alone up there. I have to go!” Ignoring his shouts, she pressed forward, stumbling over the twisted, broken body of an Inquisition soldier as she dodged a red templar’s sword. In a glance, she saw the Envy demon sweep the remaining soldiers aside, honing in on Neirah. Pushing through templars, she found Cassandra and ducked beside her. “Help me get to Neirah!” she yelled.

Her face registered shock, but she nodded briskly. Yanking her sword from the twitching body of a demon, Cassandra lifted her shield and surged forward through the writhing mass of demons and men. 

Envy swung over the railing, landing in front of Neirah. The demon pivoted to face her, wading towards her through the chaos. Panting, Neirah thrust her hand towards the rift, blood oozing from a gash across her face.

Brianna’s heart lurched. Pushing past Cassandra, she threw herself between Neirah and the demon. Envy raised an arm to strike, jaw dripping with mucus as a gurgling scream rattled from its throat. 

Neirah blinked past the blood in her eyes, her wild stare meeting Brianna’s. Above them, her mark and the rift connected. 

Mindlessly, Brianna seized Neirah’s marked hand.

For the space of two heartbeats, a heavy silence draped over Brianna. Pressure built in her ears, and she tightened her grip on Neirah’s quivering arm. Sound came rushing back with a roar, like water over a dam. Envy crumpled against the wall, howling, as if the sound itself had blasted outwards. Soldiers, templars, and demons alike were strewn around her. 

When the rift snapped closed, Neirah wrenched her hand away, astonishment written plainly on her face. “What did you do?!” she yelled.

Brianna gaped at the writhing forms scattered across the floor, rubbing at her ear absently. 

Neirah shoved her aside. With a yell, she plunged her greatsword into Envy’s middle. It’s shrieks filled the chantry.

Brianna took a step towards her. “Nei-” A sudden force struck her from behind, sending her sprawling. She gasped, but couldn’t hear the sound. An agonizing pressure built between her ears, and voices shouted as if from a distance. Grit burned her eyes as the ground rocked. She couldn’t feel the floor. She couldn’t feel herself. Brianna retched, the sound of her own tortured heaving miles away.

Hands gripped her arms and agonizing pain tore through her limbs. Someone was screaming. Was it her? A coolness seeped into her skin, and the burning began to fade. She was lifted from the ground, sunlight spearing across her lowered eyelids. She opened her mouth but no words would come. 

“Bastard!” Neirah’s voice sliced through her mind. “What was he thinking?”

“I need time with her,” someone murmured against her. “The smite is taking its toll.”

“She’ll be okay.” It wasn’t a question.

Brianna felt herself laid on the ground, distantly aware of fur tickling the back of her neck. 

“She better be. She saved my life, Solas.”

“Allow me a few minutes with her, Herald. I will do what I can.”

Neirah’s shadow moved away as she muttered something about damn templars. Brianna felt the passing of time without realizing she had gone under, that familiar brush of cold moving over her body.

“Brianna. Can you hear me?”

She pried her eyelids open, Solas’s face coming into focus. Her gaze drifted from the thin line of his lips to his dark eyes.

“How do you feel?”

Brianna coughed. “Like shit.”

His lips curved. “I am glad to see you’re pulling through.”

“Neirah?” she croaked.

“She is relatively unharmed, thanks to your prompt intervention.”

Brianna lifted her head, taking in the camp around her; Therinfal’s walls, black in the distance. “What… what happened?”

Solas’s brow furrowed as his palms hovered over her thighs, the healing coolness wrapping around her aching bones. His sleeves were pushed up to his elbows, his forearms tense as he moved slowly down her legs. “You were smited by a templar who mistook you for a mage.”

“Mage?” She fumbled through her foggy memories, remembered Envy, flung against the wall. “What…?”

The chill faded from her legs. Finding Solas’s hand, she clung to it as he helped her to a sitting position. Before he could withdraw, she gripped his fingers with her own. 

Solas’s gaze moved from their linked hands to her face. 

“Solas. What did I do…?” He was so close. So beautiful. Her heart ached as she traced his freckles with her eyes, Neirah’s horrified expression branded on her mind.

“Ser Barris is dead.” A young soldier appeared beside them, blood partially obscuring the templar’s sigil emblazoned on his armor. “You killed him with-”

Solas surged to his feet, planting himself between them. “It would be unwise for you to remain here.” His voice was iced with deadly calm as frosted tendrils swirled through his fingertips. “It was a mistake. She is no mage.”

“But Barris is  _ dead. _ ”

The soldier’s voice trembled, and Brianna stared, slack-jawed. Her mind locked up, thoughts frozen. She couldn’t speak. She forgot how.

Solas murmured something to the templar, sending him away. 

Hot shame coursed through Brianna, even as fear trailed ice across her bones. Twisting the blanket that covered her legs, she struggled to breathe through the weight that crushed her lungs. Solas knelt beside her. He was saying something, his steady voice drowned out by the pounding in her head. Her face burned like a furnace and she turned away from him, something far deeper and darker than embarrassment gripping her heart. “That… was  _ me? _ ”

“You didn’t know.”

She looked at him then, feeling moisture on her cheeks. “I’m  _ normal. _ ”

He studied her solemnly. “He fell from the scaffolding. It was an accident.”

Her eyes roved between his, excruciating guilt gnawing at her insides. “Because of the blast. Because of me.”

Solas reached out and brushed her tears away, his eyes sorrowful. Brianna leaned into his touch, her heart thudding heavily. Everything about him was solid. Safe. She squeezed her eyes shut, unwilling for him to see her shame.

“I didn’t mean to, Solas. I… I didn’t…”

Solas leaned in, his breath warm on her cheek. “It was an accident, Brianna. You are not to blame.”

She realized with a pang of guilt that she wanted him to kiss her, to make her forget. It was horribly, terribly wrong, but she wanted it anyway. Lashes fluttering, her gaze flickered to his lips, and his fingers tightened against her cheek as he stared back at her.

“If you don’t let me see her now, Solas, I’m gonna have a moment.” Neirah was towering over them. “You don’t want to see that.”

He stood swiftly. “Of course, Herald. Call me if I am needed.” And he was gone.

With a look that said it all, Neirah crouched beside her. “The hobo, huh? You should’ve seen your face. You’ve got it bad, Peewee.”

Brianna flushed, averting her gaze. 

Neirah turned serious. “I’m sorry about that other guy. We tried to keep them away, but he slipped past somehow.” She put a large hand on Brianna’s shoulder. “Not your fault.”

Brianna shook her head, lips trembling.

“Hey, look at me. I mean it, Brianna. If it weren’t for you, I’d be dead.”

“There were too many. The rift… None of it was supposed to be that bad.”

“We lived, didn’t we? There weren’t many templars left after everything, so I just conscripted their asses. After the stunt they pulled with the red lyrium, I’m not taking any more chances.” She paused. “One said that most of the templars had been called away shortly before we arrived. If what you said about Corypheus is true, I think he has them.”

Brianna stared at her lap, bleary-eyed.

Neirah gripped her arm. “Stay with the Inquisition and help me figure it out. I’m glad you’re here. We’ll get through this, I promise.”

Bruised and exhausted, Brianna spent the rest of the day wrapped in furs and propped against a tree near her tent, watching people move about the camp. Varric and Cassandra stopped by several times to check on her, but their visits did little to alleviate her self-reproach. After everything she had done, Corypheus still had his red templar army. Brianna felt sick. 

As the evening wore on, everything ached, and in spite of her vigilance, she did not see Solas again. Her eyelids drooped, and Cassandra helped her to their tent. She tucked her in with a gentleness that brought tears to Brianna’s eyes, and she drifted into a fitful sleep.


	8. Dreaming

**\- Chapter Eight -**

**Dreaming**

The shifting walls of the tent closed in on her. She couldn’t breathe.

Scrambling out of the blankets, Brianna pushed through the tent flap and into the chill of the night. The camp slumbered as shouts and the clash of steel rang through the forest. Brianna took off at a run, swerving between the trees in the direction of the clamor. Free of pain, she hurtled through the molten darkness, but could not seem to reach the sound of fighting. Just when she thought she might run forever, she burst through the treeline. Therinfal Redoubt loomed before her, black, and coughing columns of smoke.

Brianna sprinted through the gate into the chantry. She felt nothing, save for the blind panic that choked her. Shadows of men and the twisted, crimson templars struggled and fought around her in a never-ending battle. Movement drew her eye, and she saw a broad-shouldered figure steadily climbing the nearby scaffolding. At the top, featureless figures grappled above the melee.

“Barris! Barris, wait!”

When he didn’t slow his climb, Brianna pushed toward the shadows fighting around her, gasping as her hand fell through them. The way was unhindered, and yet her feet would not obey her mind. Eyes wide with terror, she shrieked for him to stop as he mounted the scaffolding, his face a blur of dark skin, brown eyes, and grim determination. 

“Stop!” she screamed. “Barris,  _ please! _ ” Her legs unlocked and with a cry of relief she stumbled forward. But as she reached for the ladder, a firm hand grabbed her other arm, yanking her backwards. Livid, she whirled with a savage cry, fists flying.

“Brianna!”

Solas’s voice echoed through the chamber, rising above the din and singing through her consciousness. She stumbled into him, the shock on her face identical to his own. His surprise rattled her, and she didn’t resist when he crushed her against him. 

A gust of wind pulsed around them, rippling through the room and blowing the shadows away like dust. Barris’s ethereal form twisted through the air, dissipating before it hit the ground. Warmth seeped into her skin as Solas pressed closer, his lips against her hair. When she blinked, they were standing in the forest, Therinfal far behind them.

Solas removed his hands from around her waist and took a step back. Bright sunlight spilled through the branches as birds chased each other through the treetops. The woods were vibrant and alive, vastly different from the twisted forest she remembered.

“What was-?”

“Merely a memory of what took place yesterday. I am sorry you had to endure that. Such an experience is not a pleasant one.” The tension in his shoulders eased as he considered her. 

“I don’t know about you, but I need to sit down.”

He tilted his head, and she settled herself on the soft grass, leaning against an ancient, moss-covered log. Noticing the open curiosity on his face, she asked, “Why are you looking at me like that?”

He sat next to her and stretched out his long legs. “Why are you here?”

She took in his relaxed posture with a cocked brow. “I just woke up here and had this feeling like I  _ really _ needed to be… there. I don’t think I realized I was dreaming until you showed up.”

“I searched the Fade for you the night after you arrived in Haven,” he confessed. “Since you are not from Thedas originally, I assumed that traversing the Fade would be difficult, despite your claims to familiarity with it. However, I could not sense your presence. I went to Minaeve’s house to look for you, but your cot was empty. On the road to Therinfal, I tried again, but with no success. It was as if you did not exist.”

As he spoke, the realization surprised her. “You were worried.”

“Yes,” he admitted. “I knew the circumstances of your arrival had unsettled you, but I could not determine if you simply had not yet manifested in the Fade.”

“Or if I left.”

Solas regarded her silently for a moment before tilting his head back against the log. “The first time, it crossed my mind,” he said finally, folding his hands over his stomach.

Brianna watched the shadows move across where his lashes rested against his cheeks.  _ Dammit. _ “Sooo… Why am I here now? What changed?”

Opening one eye, he tossed a significant glance at her left hand.

Brow furrowed, Brianna lifted her hand, turning it slowly. 

“Perhaps you can be the one to provide the explanation. You failed to mention you have abilities.”

“But I  _ don’t! _ ”

Solas’s eyes remained closed as a smirk curled his lips.

“Hey! I’m normal _. _ I don’t know what the heck this is!” Her nose stung. “It killed Barris.” 

“It was a regrettable accident. You are not to blame.”

“I’m going to have to answer a lot of questions back at Haven,” she muttered.

“I would expect nothing less from the Herald, and Cassandra particularly.”

“So you think my hand is the reason I can be in the Fade now? I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around this.”

“Nothing about you is simple, Brianna,” he said. “Out of curiosity, are you able to activate the wall of force on command? Have you experimented with it at all?”

“What, are you crazy?! I almost  _ died _ in there! This has never happened before, so no, I haven’t  _ experimented _ with it. I’m not sure I like the idea of suddenly tossing people into the air without warning. Experiment with it, my ass…”

There was a long pause. Then, as his eyes fluttered open, Solas said, “Was that an invitation?”

Brianna flushed hot and scrambled away, sputtering. 

Solas aimed a languorous grin her way. 

“Oh my  _ god _ . You know that’s not what I meant! My ass is not up for discussion, thank you!”

Completely unfazed, Solas clasped his hands behind his head and crossed his ankles. “You’re comfortable here.”

Brianna blinked and looked around. “Um, yes?” She lowered herself to the ground once more. “I hope you don’t mind the intrusion.”

“On the contrary, I welcome the company. My most frequent companions are spirits and wisps. And though it is true that mages also have access to the Fade in dreams, it has been some time since I have crossed paths with any of them. But a human with no apparent connection to magic having a presence here? That is extraordinary.”

“That’s why I’m kind of confused that I’m here, but I’m glad to be company, if you want. Spending time with spirits sounds nice, too. You’ll have to introduce me to some of your spirit friends sometime.”

“It would be a pleasure. I’m sure they would be just as interested to meet you.”

“Tell me about Wisdom.”

Solas stared up into the treetops. “Our friendship began when I was much younger, in the days when the Evanuris were not… inaccessible. I had not yet created the Veil, and elves and spirits mingled freely. We formed an easy friendship, and I often sought her advice, usually in matters related to my troubled kin.”

“So she knows. About who you are.”

“Do you find that surprising?”

“Maybe…? I had always wondered. Did she suggest you make the Veil?”

“No, the idea was mine.”

“ _ The fault is mine. I should pay the price. _ ”

A heavy sigh escaped her as the familiar words whispered through her mind.

Solas lifted his head. “Is something the matter?”

“What did she think of you giving your orb to Corypheus? Because that was a monstrously bad idea, to be honest. What made you think that would even work? He’s a bad guy!”

Solas shifted against the log. “The choice was mine to make. You have no idea what was lost in the creation of the Veil. I had to act. I was out of time.”

“There must’ve been another way.”

“If so, I would very much like to know what it was. At the time, I could think of no other options. Perhaps my decisions were made in haste, but I cannot change it now.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to step on your toes or anything.”

He shook his head. “If I am honest, Wisdom has advised against most of the choices I have made recently. Apparently, I make rash decisions quite frequently.” 

“I dunno, she sounds pretty smart to me. And  _ wise. _ ” Solas gave her a long-suffering look, but Brianna pretended not to notice.

“Her nature compels her to come to the aid of others. I am one grateful beneficiary of that purpose, even though I may not always adhere to her advice.”

Come to the aid of others… The words filtered through her mind as consciousness pulled at her. “Solas, wait… You have to warn Wisdom. She’s going to be in danger.”

Solas propped himself on one elbow, brow tightening. “What do you mean?”

“Once we get to Skyhold, you hear her calling out in your dreams, that she’s in trouble. Some mages summon her to protect them, but it turns her into a pride demon. You have to warn her!” The pull was stronger now and she could tell Solas sensed it as well. “Just tell her to stay away from the Exalted Plains. I don’t want anything to happen to her.”

There was a fullness in Solas’s eyes that she couldn’t describe, and some of the confusion on his face faded as his gaze warmed with a grateful smile.

“Hey,” she said, meeting his gaze. “You finally smiled at me.” She fought the persistent tug. Even distracted by fear for his friend, there was something different about him here. There was… more. More expression on his face, more life in his eyes. It saddened her to think that the harshness of humanity had driven him to bury who he was beneath the guise of a harmless elven apostate. With startling clarity, she realized that the only thing she wanted was to show him that not all humans were the same. When his eyes softened, she did not resist the pull that swept her back to her tent and under her blankets. Her eyes drifted open and she smiled, remembering sunbeams dancing across high cheekbones and a freckled nose.


	9. Weight of Power

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some canon divergence here :)

**\- Chapter Nine -**

**Weight of Power**

The journey back to Haven had not been kind. Every step her horse had taken jarred her battered bones. Solas’s magic could only do so much. When she finally slid from her horse and handed the reins to Dennet, her relief was immeasurable. Tossing a wave to the Iron Bull and Krem, she trudged down the familiar path to Minaeve’s. Once inside, she collapsed into bed, too tired to undress or clean up from the long ride.

Several hours later, she roused, splashed cold water on her face, smoothed back her matted hair, and made her way to the chantry. When she entered the war room, she fought back a wave of dread. This time, Neirah was present as the council pressed Brianna with questions.

“You say you’re not a mage, but that doesn’t explain what happened at Therinfal.” Cullen’s hand rested on the hilt of his sword as he regarded her. “Did you know you had this… power?”

“I had no idea! I promise, it was as much of a surprise to me as it was to everyone else. I don’t know what else to tell you.”

“Call me the queen of Antiva.” Neirah snorted. “Your timing is perfect.”

“I just grabbed your hand and it happened,” Brianna countered. “That’s it.” She met Leliana’s gaze and shook her head. “I haven’t tried doing anything on my own. Solas and I discussed this.”

Josephine lifted her head. “Does he have any idea where this ability may have come from?”

“From coming here, I guess? Like I said, I don’t belong here. Who knows what wonky shit it’s doing to me.”

Neirah flexed her gloved hand and looked away. “Sure. Thanks for all the answers.”

Leliana stepped back from the table. “We will take some time to consider this information. Thank you for your assistance with this matter.” 

Brianna recognized a dismissal. Jaw tightening, she turned on her heel and stalked from the room. Their concern was legitimate. Hell,  _ she _ had concerns. Not only did she possess an ungodly amount of information about the Inquisition’s timeline, but she had also recently acquired the ability to spontaneously trigger shock waves. “Fantastic,” she spat. “Now what?” Through the war room door, she overheard Cullen say something about her not having been ready. She scowled darkly.

The double doors of the chantry swung wide, cold wind whisking inside. The hairs on Brianna’s arms stood on end. An imperious figure stood framed in the doorway, the sunset blood red behind her. 

A tingle of electricity danced over her skin.

Vivienne. 

Brianna froze as several Chantry sisters made themselves scarce. 

Vivienne stormed into the room, static crackling behind her in tiny arcs of lightning. With a lift of her hand, an icy grip latched onto Brianna’s throat, cutting her off and lifting her to her toes. Eyes wide, Brianna grappled at her neck, rasping as Vivienne strode towards her.

“I suspected you would be trouble the moment I laid eyes on you.” The calm in her voice belied the wrath in her eyes. “You have taken innocent lives with your foundering attempts at heroism, directly contradicting your previous claims. All that the Herald is, you could never dream to be. The mistake you have made cannot be undone.”

Brianna choked, her gaze darting to the war room door. Vivienne tightened the phantom grip around her neck with a twisted smile. 

“Pity. Help is so extraordinarily close by. And yet…”

Primal fear like Brianna had never known curled around her heart, squeezing more tightly than the icy fingers at her throat.

“So small and helpless. You’re not even a mage. One foolish mistake, and a life is over. Just like that.”

Brianna gasped as ice wrapped around her fingers, sliding up her arms.

“How does it feel?” she asked, her mouth close to Brianna’s ear. “The lingering caress of darkness. An infinite cold permeating your entire being, encasing your heart in ice. They say death is like falling asleep. How naive… It’s a tortured descent into frigid oblivion.”

Brianna quivered. Her legs, her arms… frozen. 

Vivienne loosened her grasp on her neck. “Surely you have some excuse. They all do.”

Brianna stared at her from red-rimmed eyes. “I’m sorry…”

“That’s it?” Vivienne laughed incredulously. “You’re sorry? A life cannot be replaced, no matter how much we may wish it so.”

Moisture tracked across her skin, freezing on her pale cheeks. Brianna closed her eyes.  _ Maybe if she kills me, it’ll be better. Maybe I’ll go home. Maybe I’ll forget... _

“First Enchanter Vivienne!”

The grip on her neck loosened and the ice vanished instantly from her limbs. She slumped to the floor as Neirah strode out of the war room.

“Forgive the intrusion, my dear. I only wished to speak with her a moment.”

Brianna dropped her head, one hand at her throat, the other braced against the stone floor. 

“Well, I need to talk to her, too. We’ll discuss this later.”

Vivienne swept away. Her voice was tight as she called, “You’ll always have my full attention, Brianna. Try not to let it go to your head.”

Brianna felt Neirah’s arms go around her, cradling her against her shoulder. Neirah stroked her hair, murmuring words Brianna didn’t understand, but the flow of them calmed her erratic pulse. Her tender touch soothed the sting of her words from earlier, and Brianna relaxed.

“She wasn’t going to kill you,” Neirah said finally. “It was just a warning.”

“A warning…? She  _ froze  _ me!”  _ I killed Barris. _ The thought came unbidden and she pushed Neirah away. Staggering to her feet, she tripped over her numb limbs and sprawled out on the floor. With a muttered curse, she dragged herself to a stone pillar, face flushed. 

Neirah stood. “Barris was her half-brother.”

Brianna stared at her. “Wait, what? That’s not in the… I didn’t...”

“That’s why.”

Brianna kicked her feet awake. “So you’re telling me I just killed the half-brother of the most powerful mage in Thedas.”

“I think Solas would be offended by that statement.”

“Don’t. I  _ killed _ someone!”

“Judging by your reaction, I’m assuming it’s your first.”

Her nose burned with fresh tears. “What, is it obvious or something?”

Neirah’s expression softened. 

“What do I do now?”

“Stay out of her way for a while.”

“Hey. If I see her coming, trust me, I’m running the other direction.” Brianna looked away.  _ I wanted to help, not cause more pain. _

That night, her dreams were haunted by Barris’s fleeting smile, ending with his body twisted and broken on the chanty floor. A single, harrowing scene, replaying endlessly. No matter how much she screamed, he always climbed the ladder.  
  


xxx  
  


Early the next morning, drained and irritable, she was called to the war room. 

A messenger poked his head in. “The Herald has departed for Redcliffe, Lady Nightingale. They will return in three weeks.”

“When Solas returns from Redcliffe, we will have him see if he can determine where your ability comes from.” Leliana’s expression was grave, but her eyes were gentle. “Until then, we would ask that you remain here, for the safety of those in Haven. In regards to what transpired yesterday, I have spoken with First Enchanter Vivienne, and she has expressed to me that she harbors no ill will against you. The connection between her and Ser Barris was not widely known. I hope you understand we only have your safety in mind.”

Brianna comprehended the warning, but something didn’t sit right. Redcliffe…? Why were they going to Redcliffe? When the council members looked at her in confusion, she realized she had said it out loud.

Cullen hesitated before saying, “Since so few templars survived the events at Therinfal, the Herald has agreed to meet with the mages at Redcliffe to establish an alliance. Grand Enchanter Fiona has expressed her desire to meet with her to discuss the terms.”

“How is that possible?” Brianna asked, looking between them. “Recruiting both was never a possibility in any of the timelines I saw.”

Leliana and Cullen exchanged a look. 

“Last we heard,” Josephine offered, “the invitation from the mages was still on the table, so conscripting the remaining templars wouldn’t necessarily preclude the possibility of an alliance with the mages. Only time will tell if they decide to support us.”

After the meeting, Brianna was allowed to gather her things, and was then escorted to the chantry basement. It was as dark and musty as she had ever seen it, but the distinguishing difference was that it was divided lengthwise. One side had several rooms and alcoves for storage, and a door in the partitioning wall led to a row of cells beyond. It was a small comfort when the guard did not take her beyond that door. However, her relief was extinguished when the bolt turned in the door behind her, locking her inside a small room barely longer than she was tall. A low cot in one corner, a bucket in another, and a pile of crates against the opposite wall. “Well… I guess this is what happens when you kill someone.” 

She was left alone with her thoughts, which only grew more turbulent as time stretched into an endless tunnel of monotony. The long nights provided no relief as her dreams were plagued by vicious replays of Barris’s fatal climb, each more bloody and horrendous than the last. Inevitably, they ended with Brianna’s hands coated in slick, warm blood, Barris’s body broken before her, brown eyes unseeing. The guard pounding on the door would jar her awake, and she would scramble for the bucket, emptying her stomach in gasping heaves. 

_ It should’ve been me. It should’ve been me.  _

It didn’t matter that countless lives had been saved. It was the one, accidental casualty that stained her conscience, the clang of steel filling her ears as the stone walls closed in.

Panting, Brianna grabbed the bucket as she lost her dinner, hair clinging to her damp forehead. The guard outside the door pretended not to notice. She grabbed the nearby water pitcher, swishing the foul taste away. Rubbing her fingers together, she could still feel the sticky blood beneath her nails and staining her skin. Tears slipped down her cheeks, her heart sinking into nothingness.

“Saddened, sorrowful. Suddenly in a world not your own.”

Brianna lifted her head. A thin figure sat perched on the crates. Her gaze swung to the door.

“I made him forget I was here.” The pale, blond boy stared at her from underneath an excessively large hat. “You want everyone to forget you were here, too.”

“Cole…” Brianna stumbled to her feet, throwing her arms around him. She buried her face in his bony shoulder, unable to quiet the sobs that shook her.

“You know who I am,” he said, voice light with surprise. “If this helps, then I’m glad.” He didn’t return the embrace, but didn’t pull away either.

“What are you doing here?” Brianna lowered herself onto the cot.

“It was an accident. Whistling wind whipping him away from a height. Falling, flailing… What about my sister? Duty is done.”

Brianna hadn’t thought she would mind Cole’s ramblings, but this? She shuddered, touching her lips. “I didn’t mean to…”

He cocked his head. “Who are you?”

“Brianna.”

“I can’t see where you’re from. Far away, from a mirror. Twisting, tumbling through. But you knew this place, knew of him. Knew his loneliness, his fear, his face... “

Brianna bowed her head.

“His feelings.”

“Solas.” Just saying his name made her heart stutter.

“You are good for him. Helping him see what he hasn’t allowed himself to see. He helps you forget.” He paused. “I am helping, I think.”

“Yes, you are, Cole.” Brianna smiled at him through her tears. 

“I can make you forget about Barris, if you like.”

Brianna swallowed hard. She hadn’t expected that offer. “It should have been me.”

“A life for a life. Like a knife, it cuts away what makes us feel safe, steady, standing. His smile that he gave you in passing. Such a small, simple thing, but burned on your mind like a brand. He sees your smile. He knows. Everything is different now. Everything has changed.”

“How do I get past this?” 

But Cole was gone.  
  


xxx   
  


“The fuck do you mean, you’ll get the key?!”

Brianna stirred, the booming shout slicing through her fog of sleep.

“Don’t test me. Take me to her now, or I swear by Andraste’s nipples, I’ll string you up by your ballsack on the roof of this building, you worthless piece of shit! Now  _ move! _ ”

The guard stuttered profuse apologies as the key rattled in the door. 

“Brianna!”

“We fed her every day, Your Worship, I swear!”

“Shut the hell up, or I’ll stitch your mouth closed myself! Get out!”

Concern shimmered in those golden eyes, and Brianna flashed her a half-smile. “Come to finish me off?”

Neirah swore vehemently. “This kind of treatment from my own people. Disgusting.” She grabbed one of Brianna’s arms and slung it over her shoulders. “We’re going outside. Where the sun is.”

“Neirah…”

“Cole told me. I came as soon as I heard.”

“The mages?”

Neirah helped her up the stairs. “With us. Corypheus has the rest of the templars though. It’s not looking good.”

“You’ll be fine.”

“Yeah, I’m always fine, but you? Damn. You’ve looked better, I’m sad to say.”

“What, no… I can’t possibly look that bad. I’m glad to see you, though.”

The doors of the chantry opened and blinding light slapped Brianna in the face.

Neirah gripped her more tightly. “I’ve got you,” she murmured.

“Herald!”

Brianna’s breath caught. She tried to pry her eyes open, but the sunlight on the snow was excruciating. Long fingers wrapped around her arm, warming her skin through her tunic. 

“Where were you?” Solas’s voice was close to her ear, tight and urgent. “Why didn’t you answer?”

“What...?”

“You barricaded yourself in the Therinfal chantry. In the Fade. I was unable to enter.”

Tears burning behind her eyelids, she retorted, “Well, I didn’t know, so I’m sorry, okay?”

The grip on her arm tightened.

“Are you two done?” Neirah’s voice was sharp, if not slightly amused.

“Yes, you may return me to my cell.”

Neirah snorted. “I’m not letting you out of my sight again, Peewee. From now on, you’re with me.”

Brianna aimed a wide, blind smile in the direction of her voice. “Sounds perfect.”

The fingers slipped from her arm, leaving a trail of cold behind them. Likely the wind. Furrowing her brow against the bright, white world, she cracked an eye open, but Solas was already striding away, shoulders taut. “Someone’s upset,” she grumbled.

Neirah threw back her head and laughed. “I’ve only seen him this ticked off when someone compliments the Dalish. But it looks like I’m not the only one keeping an eye on you.”


	10. Only an Outsider

**\- Chapter Ten -**

**Only an Outsider**

  
  


Brianna wandered between bonfires. Laughter mingled with music as sparks danced upward, joining the stars in the deepening sky. It was tragic, really. She had wanted to believe she could belong. That she could make a difference. But her dagger lay gathering dust in Minaeve’s bunkhouse. Those things no longer interested her. 

She had told them everything about Corypheus’s surprise attack on Haven. So when the festivities commenced at sundown to celebrate the successful closing of the Breach, preparations had already been made for a hasty departure.

A bard was singing nearby. The smell of stew and pastries wafted toward her on the night breeze. She hadn’t eaten all day, but food was another of the many things that had lost their appeal. She felt cold inside, and she didn’t think it was the winter chill. 

Shadows haunted her steps as she skirted the firelight. The council members had spoken to her about her time in the chantry, their embarrassment clear. From the genuine regret on Leliana’s face, Brianna sensed something had gone awry. Maybe she had deserved what happened after Barris’s death. And though surrounded by people she had grown to care for, she felt nothing. Only an aching emptiness.

Varric sat with Cassandra and Iron Bull by a bonfire, knocking drinks with theirs. Cassandra took a long sip, trying not to smile at something Varric said. Ignoring the tug on her heart, Brianna turned away and walked the silent, abandoned path to Minaeve’s alone. The shouts and cheers of the revelers faded as she stepped into the dim interior. She sank onto her bed, her head in her hands. 

“How moving. Alone in a dark room, attempting to carry the weight of everything you’ve done without the aid of anyone. Impressive, but futile.” Vivienne stood framed in the doorway. “Where is your hedge mage? I was under the impression you hadn’t left his side since your arrival.”

Her cheeks colored. “He’s not-. I just wanted to be alone.”

“Somehow, I find that difficult to believe.”

Brianna’s hands fidgeted in her lap. “I don’t know why I’m here. The Inquisition doesn’t need me.”

“You’re absolutely right about that, my dear. They’ve never needed you. Any difference you think you’ve made has been inconsequential at best. At worst… Well. Some lives will never be the same.” Vivienne lifted her chin, staring down at her. “You are merely a distraction. A hindrance. The Herald is destined to make her mark on the world, while you will pass into obscurity, having contributed nothing to this world or the people in it. A pity, really. I was hoping to spare you the pain of making that discovery for yourself, but it appears I am too late.”

Brianna fisted the bedcovers, knuckles white.

“As for the apostate, he will never care for you the way you wish him to. He is here only to aid the Inquisition, not to enter into some dalliance with a child. Imagining that you could mean something to him is foolish indeed. What could you possibly have to offer him? You know nothing of this world, completely unable to defend yourself or find your own way.”

_ Stop. Please stop…  _ Brianna bowed her head, swallowing the sobs that climbed her throat.

“I won’t keep you. It grieves me to see you in such a state, and I understand if you are unable to remain. It’s nothing personal, darling. But this is not your world. It never was.” With her receding footsteps, silence fell over the cabin once more.

Brianna moved shaking fingers over her damp face. She stepped outside, filling her heavy lungs with cold night air. Solas’s cabin was dark, and the absence ached. He was likely still with the council, giving them the details about Skyhold. With Corypheus and his dragon on their way, Haven would not be able to withstand the force of the attack, even with Brianna’s prior knowledge and weeks to prepare. The people of Haven celebrated the sealing of the breach with a drink in one hand, a sword in the other. One of the trebuchets had been positioned, aimed towards the snowy cliffs above them. Burying Haven and escaping into the mountains remained their best option.

Brianna stripped off her leather pants, tugging on her old jeans and a sweater as she stuffed her armor into a leather satchel. What would happen to the eluvian? Skyhold was miles from here. She briefly considered finding a way to bring it with her. But deep down, she knew it would be safer if it stayed concealed in the forest, away from prying eyes. 

She had to see it. Say goodbye.

Her heart grew heavier with every step that took her further from Haven. The snow crunched beneath her boots as a gentle breeze swept through the pines. The powdery white that covered the ground almost glowed in the moonlight, the sky scarred, but calm. Neirah had done that. She had sealed the Breach while Brianna looked on. Vivienne was right. Her being here would change nothing for the Inquisition. It was destined to succeed, as it always had been.

The cabin loomed before her, dark and cold against the snow. She stepped inside and froze. The wall was empty. The eluvian, gone.

“No… No no no!” Brianna rushed forward, moving her hands across the wall. The empty space mocked her. Her only connection to the world she had left behind had vanished, and with it, her last shred of hope. 

Brianna’s knees buckled and she crumbled to the floor, chest heaving with sobs. “What about Mom? Cynthia? They  _ need _ me. I can’t stay here. I… I can’t. I killed Barris! I didn’t mean to. Please, I didn’t mean to…” Tears dripped from her eyes onto the rough floorboards. “Please, I need to go home! I ruin everything. Please, just let me go home, please…” She wept brokenly, her hands pressed against her face as tears leaked through her fingers. 

A bell clanged a warning. A sentry’s cry drifted on the wind. Brianna whimpered, shaking her head and curling in on herself. “Don’t want to.” Her voice cracked. “I don’t want to. Mom, help me, please…” The clatter of steel rang through the woods and her stomach turned. She shouldn’t be here. Brianna pressed her face against her knees. She shivered as biting cold pricked her skin. The disappearance of the eluvian was baffling, but sitting in the snow wasn’t going to bring it back. She swallowed heavily. She didn’t want to die. 

Her mouth set in a grim line, she heaved herself to her feet, swiping the tears from her cheeks. A bellowing screech tore through the air as Corypheus’s dragon swooped low overhead. The pines creaked and shuddered in its wake. Brianna lurched, knees buckling as her eyes followed the beast’s underbelly. With a roar, a column of flame spewed from its gaping jaws, setting Haven alight. If she didn’t leave now, she would soon be stranded on the wrong side of the mountains. 

Brianna shouldered her pack, jogging back down the path to the gates. They hung splintered on their hinges and she squeezed through, coughing as she pushed through the thick, swirling smoke. Corpses littered the ground at her feet. She couldn’t bring herself to look. 

A dark, sneering voice slithered through the night, raising the hairs on her arms. In the midst of the destruction, flanked by the dragon, stood Corypheus, his massive, twisted frame silhouetted by roaring flames. Neirah dangled by one arm, struggling in his long-fingered grip. Her marked hand sputtered above her head as Corypheus brought his face close to hers. Tearing her eyes from the scene, Brianna scrambled away. She had mere minutes before Haven would be reduced to a heap of rubble.

Mercifully, the chantry doors opened for her. She closed herself into the deserted edifice with a pang of loneliness. Had no one searched for her? And she realized she had no idea where the summer pilgrimage path was. Leaving Haven had been a colossal mistake.

“Down here!” called a muffled voice.

Brianna took the stairs to the basement, spotting Cole picking the lock on a wooden door. “Cole? What are you-”

“It’s not the path, but it’s better.”

“Where have you been?”  _ I needed you. _

“I told them not to worry, that you would follow. Solas didn’t want to leave without knowing you were safe, but I said I would help.” The lock clicked open and he stood, cocking his head to one side. “Your sadness was very loud and I wanted to find you, but Neirah kept shouting at me. She was worried, too. But you’re here now and that’s good. A little bit broken, but ready to try.”

“Feels like more than a little bit.”

Something flickered in his eyes. “She made your heart hurt.”

“I’m okay.”

“You’re not, even though you say you are.”

A far-off sound like thunder shook the floor. Her chest tightened. “Cole, I need to go!”

“This is the way to the caverns.”

“Are you coming with-” Brianna started down the stone steps, but when she turned, he had already disappeared. The rumble intensified, the chantry’s foundations shuddering. Brianna leapt down the stairs, turning the corner into a hallway. Small stones clattered around her as she rushed downward, into the darkness. The roar of the approaching avalanche filled the tunnels and she rounded another corner, praying she would make it to the caverns in time.

A loud crack reverberated through the tunnel. The walls buckled around her. She lurched forward, struggling to keep her balance as she careened down a long flight of steps. The tunnel crumbled behind her. Spotting the doorway below, she threw herself forward. Rocks tumbled down the steps as she slammed against the door and spilled onto the ground on the other side. 

The tremors eased, and Brianna scooted away from the door, her pulse a wild pounding in her ears. She pressed her trembling hands to the ground, the frozen earth cool beneath her splayed fingers. The stairway was destroyed.  _ Too close. Way too close.  _

She grunted, hauling herself to her feet. Her knee twinged and she winced, fingering the dark stain on her jeans.  _ The Inquisitor survived falling onto this. _ She stomped a foot against the icy ground.  _ I’ll live. Neirah might need help if she’s here. _ A soft wind whistled through the tunnel ahead. Brianna hoisted her pack more securely on her shoulders. “Now we walk.”

Stalactites glistened on the ceiling, shimmering with her reflection as she passed. Her footsteps echoed in the narrow interior. It stretched endlessly before her, and she could only hope it would lead her to Neirah. Several minutes had passed when a dash of color caught her eye. A crimson smear stained the icy floor. 

Chest tight, Brianna sprinted down the tunnel. Moaning wind whisked through the caves, raising goosebumps on the back of her neck. She ran alongside the blood trail as it sketched a shaky pattern through the drifting snow. She slowed when the caverns opened to frozen darkness. The mountains loomed above her like sleeping giants. The wind was louder now, howling like a living creature trapped in the swirling snow. Brianna only hesitated a moment before lifting an arm to shield her face, following the blood and footprints into the storm. 

The brutal wind had not yet erased the uneven tracks or the blood-stained snow. In several places, a wide area of snow was packed down, as if she had fallen. Brianna slogged through knee-deep drifts, her tunic damp with perspiration. Her legs quivered. When she stopped to look around, all she could see was snow in every direction.

_ What am I doing? _ Her teeth chattered as she pressed forward.  _ I’m gonna freeze out here if I don’t find her soon.  _ She tripped, but caught herself. Tucking her hands under her arms, a wry smile lifted her stiff, chapped lips. “If I make it, Solas should hang out with me. Looks like I’m not completely pathetic after all.”

Peering into the darkness ahead, she spotted a hulking shape propped against a boulder, horns and broad shoulders crusted with snow. “Neirah!” She plowed towards her, and her stomach clenched. Gaping wounds blistered Neirah’s skin, burns and angry gashes oozing dark blood, her armor scorched and torn.

“Hang on, Neirah! I got you!” Brianna grabbed one arm, planted her feet, and pulled. But no matter how hard she tried, she didn’t have the strength to lift her. “I’m not gonna leave you here!” she shouted, straddling Neirah’s body and shaking her. “You need to beat Corypheu and save the world. That’s what you do! That’s your job, and you’re not allowed to quit now!” She smacked Neirah’s frozen face as her desperation grew. “I can’t carry you! You’re too heavy and I don’t have muscles. But I’ll be damned if I’m going to let you just lay here and die like a pathetic person, do you hear me?!” She grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her hard. “Wake up and be the hero! Thedas needs you.  _ I _ need you. C’mon, Neirah, get up!”

Neirah’s cracked lips parted, an irritable huff almost lost in the bitter wind. Her eyes fluttered open and she wiped the snow from her face, spearing Brianna with a glare. “What’s wrong with you, sitting on my tits and slapping me senseless? Rude.”

Brianna flung her arms around her neck, crushing her face against her chest.

“Now now… Let’s not get emotional.” Neirah patted her stiffly. “Nice speech, though.”

Brianna pulled away, eyeing her. “I thought…”

“What… That I was dead or something? Don’t be so dramatic, I was resting.”

“Sorry. That’s embarrassing.”

Neirah grinned weakly. “I didn’t want to ruin your moment.”

“Thanks? We really need to go. Can you walk?”

“I still have legs, Peewee.”

“Yes, but are they working?”

“They better, since you don’t have muscles.”

Brianna huffed a laugh as Neirah gripped her arms and limped to her feet. 

“I was following the campfires. Don’t worry, we’ll find them. We’re close.” She winced, draping a heavy arm across Brianna’s shoulders. “What are you doing here?”

“I really wanted to go home, Neirah.”

“I thought you couldn’t.” 

“I came through a mirror. It was special. Magical, I guess. I wanted to say goodbye. But when I got there, it was gone. It was stupid of me. I’m sorry for everything.”

“You don’t have to apologize all the time. I’m just glad you’re here. I know it’s a lot, but you also need to stop blaming yourself for Barris’s death.”

Brianna flinched, ducking her head as they trudged through the snow.

“It was an accident, and you’re letting it destroy you. What about all the good you’ve done? You’re like a little ray of sunshine that just appeared out of nowhere and everyone loves you. Okay, maybe not Vivienne, but everyone else does.” She grunted, nursing her bruised ribs. A feline grin tilted her lips. “Especially Solas.”

“Yeah, right…”

“I’m serious! Whenever I mention your name, his eyes sparkle a little bit, like this.” She pulled a dreamy, lovesick face.

“Ugh, that’s terrible.”

Neirah’s chuckle turned into a coughing fit. “I think you’re good for him. I don’t know what it is, but there’s definitely something there.”

_ Is she serious? Does he really… feel something? _

Neirah gave her a shake. “You like him, too! It’s written all over your face! I suspected at Therinfal for sure, the way you two were staring at each other. Never thought I’d see a girl like you go for a guy like him, but hey. If you like broody elves…”

“You’re impossible.”

“You didn’t deny it, though.”

“I’m not anything.”

There was the bitter truth of it. She had believed she could be someone, but Vivienne’s scathing words had shattered her delicate hopes. She had only confirmed the nagging fears that kept Brianna up at night. As she sorted through the scattered pieces of her soul, she wasn’t sure she could put them back together.

Neirah halted, clutched Brianna’s arms. “That is a lie,” she snarled, eyes dark. “You are everything. You are sunshine and crystal grace and obsidian. You are strong and beautiful, and I am honored to call you my friend. I want you to have my back in the worst of it.” She smiled even as she trembled in the cold. “You have the strength this world needs. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”

Brianna’s eyes burned, but not from the wind that howled around them. The words hissed like cool water against the burning wreckage of her heart, a fine mist in a blazing inferno. Since stumbling through the eluvian, she had lost all sense of self. Her family had been her whole life. Defined her. Apart from them, she was completely lost, swept away by innumerable uncertainties and doubts. A long-forgotten part of her yearned to believe that she was someone. But she wasn't strong or beautiful. Just awkward, sensitive, and accident-prone. Separated from her family and trapped in a strange world, she didn't know who she was. She wondered if she ever would. Silently, she pulled Neirah’s large arm across her shoulders once more and pressed forward. 

Neirah was flagging. Brianna’s legs burned from trudging through the deep snow, and her shirt clung to her damp back. Neirah’s bleeding had slowed, but Brianna knew they were running out of time. The storm had abated, tiny snowflakes floating lazily through the clear night air. “Hang on, Neirah. I think-” She squinted into the darkness. Two cliffs rose sharply before them, a valley sprinkled with tents and flickering bonfires beyond. Brianna sobbed with relief, and Neirah gave her a drowsy grin. 

“Told you we’d make it.”

“There they are! It’s the Herald!”

Brianna had never been so happy to hear Cullen’s voice.

Cullen and Cassandra, followed by two Inquisition soldiers, jogged through the snow to them. 

“Thank the Maker!” The relief was plain on Cassandra’s face. 

Brianna’s shoulders ached as Neirah’s weight was lifted from them. Cassandra’s firm grip was tight on her arm.

“You did well, Brianna. Maker only knows how you found each other. You’re safe now.”

Neirah was safe. That was all that mattered. The next several minutes passed in a blur as Cassandra lead her to camp. People were cheering, but she barely heard it. Her head fell into a pillow, heavy darkness wrapping around her. Bundled in soft, dry blankets, the chill slowly evaporated from her limbs. Just before sleep claimed her, the scent of earth and parchment curled around her, a breath of cold whispering across her cheek.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Halfway through! Thank you for all the love, you guys. :) <3


	11. Lasting Impression

**\- Chapter Eleven -**

**Lasting Impression**

“Solas has been asking about you. It’s getting old.”

Brianna tilted her head back against the stone wall. “I find that hard to believe.”

“Not sure why.” Neirah lowered herself onto Brianna’s bed, jostling her. “You two used to be inseparable. Now you’re just holed up in here all the time.”

“He asked about me?”

“Of course he did, Peewee. He cares about you almost as much as I do.” She shot Brianna a wry smile. “Don’t give me that look. You did enough moping back in Haven. You’ve proved yourself ten times over by saving my ass in the Frostbacks.”

Brianna squinted against the sunlight that shone through her narrow bedroom window. After their arrival at Skyhold, Neirah had given her a bedroom on the upper floor, and Brianna had immediately closed herself within, curling up on the dusty bed and not moving until the next day. “It’s not enough.”

“It won’t be if that’s what you keep telling yourself. You didn’t even come to the celebration.”

“I’m sorry, I should’ve. It was just… too many people.”

“At this point, you know how much I hate people, too. I wasn’t expecting to be named ‘Inquisitor,’ of all things. My first thought was how wrong it was. But I knew there was a reason they chose me, beyond the obvious fact that I’m the only one that can close the damn rifts.” She hesitated. “All I’m saying is that it would’ve been nice to see you there.”

Brianna lowered her head, hands fidgeting in her lap. Neirah slouched against the wall beside her, arms crossed, slivers of sunlight highlighting her grey skin. She had grown so much, become someone the world could look to for guidance and protection. But Neirah also depended on her, and that knowledge weighed heavy on her. Too much was at stake. She knew she needed to tell her eventually, what she had decided, but the words lodged in her throat. “I’m sorry, I should’ve been there. It was too much. I’m sorry.”

“Maybe we’re more alike than I thought at first,” Neirah said. “I used to hide, too, but that didn’t solve any of my problems. It just made it worse. Whether or not you believe it, we want you around. I’m not entirely sure where you came from, but you make a difference every time you walk into a room. I don’t know what I’d do without you, and I mean it.”

She bit her trembling lip. “I miss my mom,” she whispered.

“Are you crying?”

Brianna pressed her cheek against her shoulder. “It hurts,” she whispered. “It won’t go away. I don’t know how to make it go away…” Her shoulders shook, and all the trying in the world couldn’t stop the tears from rolling down her cheeks. 

Neirah wrapped one arm awkwardly around her shoulders, patting Brianna’s head with her other hand. “I think you needed this. You can cry it out if you need to. I love you, Peewee. Snot and all.”

“Sorry,” Brianna mumbled, wiping her nose with the back of her sleeve.

“Let me get you somebody who’s better at this than I am,” Neirah said, a satisfied smirk on her face. “Come in!”

Horrified, Brianna stared as the door swung inward, revealing Solas standing just outside. Their gazes collided, and she ducked to hide her tears, but not before she caught the deep concern etched across his features.

“Well, I’ll leave you to it, then.”

“What makes you think he’s better at helping me than you are?” Brianna gave her a pleading look.

Neirah only winked before disappearing out the door, leaving Brianna and Solas alone. 

Brianna hugged her knees to her chest, looking everywhere except at him. Solas cleared his throat, and she risked a peek. He stood in the middle of the room, looking everywhere… except at her.  _ Is he… nervous? _ She let out a slow breath and tapped the bed next to her. “Sit?”

Solas lowered himself onto the thin mattress, his back ramrod straight.

Her heart melted a little at the look of utter confusion on his face. She tipped her head forward to get a better view of his face, a small smile on her lips. “Hi.”

“The Inquisitor asked that I help you, but it was unclear exactly what she had in mind.”

Brianna took his hand. With an unreadable expression, he glanced down at her fingers wrapped around his. “Share something with me. Something that interests you.” 

He hesitated briefly before wrapping an arm around her shoulders. He leaned back against the wall, some of the tension leaving him. With a gentle tug, he pulled her gently towards him so that her head rested in his lap. 

Her skin warmed every place he touched her. Maybe it was her imagination, her girlish fantasies out of control, that made her read too much into the littlest things. She held her breath as she laid against him, her cheek against his thigh. She almost asked what he was doing, but his fingers brushed deftly through her hair, eliciting a soft sound from her. 

“There’s someone who wants to meet you,” he murmured. 

She felt herself relax as his fingers trailed cool magic across her temple, drawing her down into the tranquil folds of sleep.

Her eyes opened to a windswept hill, dotted with towering, moss-covered boulders. Grassy plains stretched in every direction, sprinkled with copses of trees and lined with rocky creeks. 

“ _ Lethallin _ , you’ve come at last!” a lilting voice exclaimed. “And you brought her!” A wispy elven figure stood beside Solas, dark hair curling under her ears, eyes shining with a lambent glow. “I am Wisdom.” Her ethereal features formed a smile. “From what Fen has told me, I owe you a great debt. I felt the call of the mages from the Exalted Plains, but because of your warning, I escaped a terrible fate. Since then, I have been asking that we be introduced, but he always said he was too busy.” Wisdom gave Solas an incomprehensible look that could have been a raised eyebrow. 

He didn’t reply, but Brianna caught the tilt of his lips.

Wisdom placed a hand over her chest and held it out to Brianna. “You have my eternal gratitude, da’len.”

Solas’s attention was focused on Brianna, devoid of his usual guardedness. Without turning to the spirit, he said, “I am in Brianna’s debt as well. Her foresight enabled us to avoid certain tragedy, and for that, I am grateful.”

Wisdom glanced between them and the most beautiful giggle escaped her. “I see why you like her. She has a beautiful spirit.”

Brianna stared at Solas. From his cheeks to the tips of his ears, his pale skin was stained a bright pink. “I think you’ve made him self-conscious.” She immediately closed her mouth as her own voice wobbled.

With another bell-like laugh, Wisdom floated towards the crest of the hill. “It’s good for him.”

Falling into step beside Solas, Brianna stared at the ground, occasionally glancing at his feet. “Wisdom was the one who wanted to meet me?” she asked.

At the top of the hill, Wisdom turned. “I have been asking him to introduce us for a while. But I’m not the one he meant.”

It was then that an enormous, reptilian form appeared out of the clouds, great wings beating the air as it landed on the hilltop before them. The red dragon stared at them, smoke curling from its mouth, before it transformed with a swirl of mist into a tall, white-haired woman. Wrinkles lined her sharp, amber eyes, and she gripped a staff in one hand, head high. The air itself seemed to shift around her as she said, “I am.”

Brianna blinked as the imposing figure strode toward her, but kept her chin up. If Mythal herself was here…

“Now that the three of you have finished chatting, we can get down to business.” Her bright eyes locked on Brianna. “Of course I know who you are, girl. But what interests me is that you already know who I am.”

“Flemeth and Mythal.”

With an amused smile, the woman said to Solas, “Where did you find this one, hm? She already knows what you are, what you’ve done, and what you plan to do. And yet she stays.”

“I want to help him.”

“Curious indeed. Why?”

“I didn’t want him to be alone.”

“You knew what it was to be without that unique connection to another person.”

“I wasn’t really alone. I had my family.”

“And yet there was emptiness just the same. You may be right for him, but whether he is right for you is another matter entirely. You know his plans for this world. What makes you think a mortal could make any kind of difference in the vast plans of those who walk the immortal planes?”

“Flemeth and Mythal needed each other, didn’t they?”

She regarded Brianna carefully. “Are you suggesting a similar arrangement be made?”

“No… But you of all people should understand that even gods shouldn’t be completely alone. I may not be one of you, but that doesn’t make my heart or my love worth any less.”

Her arched brows lifted. “So you have spirit as well. When I saw you, I knew you would do this old world some good. It would seem I was correct.”

“I want to help, but…” She dropped her gaze. “I can’t use my knowledge of the future anymore. I just can’t.”

“Even more surprises. The loss of the templar was tragic, but such is the cost this life demands of us.” 

“I didn’t want him to die. How did I even survive Therinfal? I should’ve been dead.” Her hands fisted at her sides. “It should’ve been me.”

“You lived so that you could go on to save Wisdom, the Inquisitor, and many others in ways you may never see. As unlikely as it may seem, you have a purpose here, and I don’t believe it has fully come to fruition yet. You must be the one to discover where your path lies.”

“Why did you of all people want to meet me?”

She laughed, loud and long. “Who wouldn’t want to meet a girl from another world who knows what will happen in Thedas’s future? Particularly one who attracted the attention of another of the Evanuris. You must be something quite spectacular indeed.”

Brianna’s cheeks flushed hot.

“Whether or not you continue to use your knowledge to aid the Inquisition, that is your decision, and one only you can make.”

“I know the Inquisition wins in the end, but if I change things, I have no idea what the long-term consequences would be. I can’t risk that.” 

“From what I’ve seen, I doubt the Inquisitor would disown you for such a choice. She still needs you. You were never seen by her as a means to an end. But keep a wary eye, young one. So much has changed with your appearance in this world, even beyond what you might have imagined possible. Do yourself a favor, and don’t underestimate the influence you possess. You have already given the Inquisition a future by saving their leader. You are making history, Brianna, and will continue to do so in many more unexpected ways, I’m sure. Rest assured, I will be watching your journey unfold with great interest.”

A dark mist swirled around the woman, returning her to her dragon form. It’s eyes flashed as it met Brianna’s stare, rising into the air with a beat of its great wings. It circled above them once before disappearing into the distance. She turned to Wisdom and Solas, eyes wide. “Did you see that…? Mythal?!”

Wisdom nodded sagely, her face wreathed in a knowing smile.

Solas was looking at her with something akin to pride. “It is only natural that someone as unique as yourself would attract a certain amount of attention from some of the more reclusive individuals in Thedas.”

“Do you think she liked me? Do you think she would be okay with me not telling the future anymore?”

Solas’s eyes danced with amusement. “I believe she admires you for what you have accomplished so far. There are often tales of people who can see the future, but few of those rumors are based in any kind of truth. You are a different story entirely. But she was correct. It is ultimately your decision to make, and no one should feel they have the right to sway you one way or the other. I believe you can continue to make an impact on the Inquisition, whichever you choose.”


	12. Free to Choose

**\- Chapter Twelve -**

**Free to Choose**

Brianna stepped into the main hall, almost colliding with Vivienne and Josephine.

Vivienne smiled demurely, returning her attention to the ambassador. “The Inquisitor will join us when she is ready, I’m sure. Thank you for your time, Lady Montilyet.” She breezed away, heels clicking against the stone floor.

Brianna scratched her head, watching as a handful of people moved about the hall. “Sorry for interrupting.”

“No apology is necessary,” Josephine replied with a smile. “Lady Vivienne is… preoccupied, at the moment.”

“Yeah, I can see that.”

She hesitated, then led her into the adjacent hallway. “It is I who should be apologizing. For what happened at Haven.”

Brianna’s stomach turned.

“I feel the need to explain, especially after you risked your life to save the Inquisitor. The details of your condition were… withheld… under mysterious and unfortunate circumstances. Had we known of your plight, the situation would not have been permitted to stand. We are deeply grieved that you had to experience such an ordeal alone and without support. Sister Leliana and Commander Cullen have asked me to convey to you that all of us wish to see you remain with the Inquisition. I believe the Inquisitor has voiced similar sentiments?”

“Yes. Yes, she has.”

“If you have need of anything during your time with us, please do not hesitate to ask. We are at your disposal, Brianna.”

She flung her arms around Josephine, her nose stinging. “Thank you. It helps. It really does.” Josephine looked surprised but pleased. The warmth of Josephine’s tentative embrace lingered as Brianna hopped into the rotunda.

When she rounded Solas’s desk, she found him seated, grimacing in disgust as he pushed a cup away from him. At his expression, some of the weight lifted from her chest. “Your face! That bad, huh?”

“It is tea. I detest the stuff.”

Brianna perched on the edge of his desk. “Here, let me try.” She lifted the cup to her lips and downed it in several gulps. Making small smacking noises, she peered into it and then at Solas. He had such an adorable look of uncertainty on his face that she giggled. “I guess I was thirsty. I didn’t really taste anything.”

“That is why I find it so repulsive. It has no taste or substance. It is utterly loathsome.”

She set the cup down. “Well, it’s gone now. You’re safe from the evil tea.”

Solas shook his head. Picking up his brush and bowl of paint, he crossed the room to one of his paintings. 

A new voice echoed through the rotunda. “There you are!”

“Hi!” Brianna jumped off the desk and threw herself at Neirah.  _ Yep. Definitely in a hugging mood. _

“Hey, Peewee.” Neirah lifted her off the ground with a squeeze. 

“It sounded like Vivienne and Josephine were looking for you?”

“Oh, yeah…” Neirah set her down and scratched the spot between her horns. “They want me to get ready for the Winter Palace.”

“Who doesn’t like parties?” Brianna asked with mock incredulity.

“Me.” Neirah made a face. “Can’t even breathe without everyone watching you.”

“That is one of many facets of the Game,” Solas said. “A simple gesture could mean the difference between life and death. A nod, or yes, even a breath, can send a message as easily as proclaiming it openly. There is power to be found at court for those who have the mind to wield it.”

“That’s what bothers me. Subtlety isn’t really my strong suit.”

“I am confident you will do very well. You are the Inquisitor. Your words and actions will be remembered and repeated for years to come. If I recall correctly, you have a way of making an impression.”

“I’m afraid my impression-making skills are limited to kicking down doors and making rude gestures, Solas.”

“That’s why we love you!” Brianna quipped.

Neirah flashed her a grateful grin.

“Past interactions with nobles interested in the Inquisition have proved otherwise,” Solas reassured her.

“As long as Peewee’s coming with me, I think I could survive one noble-infested night.”

Brianna opened her mouth, then closed it. Even though the room was warm, a chill raised the hairs on her arms. “You sure that’s a good idea after Therinfal?” The word was bitter on her tongue, and a heavy silence followed. 

Neirah grasped Brianna’s shoulders, drawing her attention. “Hey. It’s okay. You’re with friends now, and we’re here for you. I couldn’t ask for a better person to stand beside me than the girl who saved my life.”

Brianna smiled faintly. A disgusted noise reached her ears and she glanced over Neirah’s shoulder to see Cassandra stalking past the table where Varric sat, shoulders tense. “If looks could kill… I’m guessing Cassandra found out about Hawke?”

“Almost strung Varric up by his toenails for it,” Neirah said with a long-suffering look. “I still think he should’ve given me all the information up front.”

“Hawke went through a lot. She pretty much lost her whole family and had to turn a city around almost single-handedly. That’s a lot for one person to deal with.”

Neirah eyed her quizzically. “She?”

“Uhh…”

“Baritone and facial hair, so I don’t think so, unless I’m missing something.” 

Neirah was grinning, and Brianna heard Solas chuckle softly from the other end of the room. “Okay, I’m sorry!  _ He.  _ Sheesh. Hawke’s usually a girl where I come from.”

“How do you get  _ that _ wrong?” Neirah tittered as Brianna shrugged helplessly. “Hey, don’t sweat it. Your information has been flawless the vast majority of the time. Even some conversations you’ve repeated nearly word for word. We don’t get that kind of luck every day.”

Brianna’s gaze flicked to Solas. His hand moved steadily across the wall, his back to her. Apparently, she was on her own. “Uh… yeah. About that… I’ve been thinking about it, and… I dunno, I’m just not sure about… you know… I know I told you I would tell you what I knew, but it’s changing things, and I’m sorry, but I’m so scared things are going to go terribly wrong, and you can totally fire me if you want.”

Neirah cocked her head. “So, I’m just going to translate that to mean… what exactly?”

“I don’t want to tell the future anymore.” The words came out in a rush and she ducked her head, unable to look her friend in the eye. “I mean, like, do you still need me even if I don’t tell the future anymore?”

“Are you crazy? Of course I still need you! We make quite the unlikely pair you know.” Neirah grinned, her eyes warm. “I thought you were strange at first, but you’re like a little sunbeam and I don’t know what I’d do without you now. Whatever you decide to do with what you know, you’re free to choose your own path. That doesn’t change what we have. Convinced yet?”

“I think so…”

“Good.” Neirah clapped her on the back, and Brianna coughed. “Now back to business. What would you think of coming with me to the Forbidden Oasis? I have to do  _ something _ with all these damn shards.” She glared at Solas, who was content to ignore her.

“I’d like that.” Brianna smiled gratefully. “It would be nice to get out.”

“Thought so. You’re coming, too, Solas.”

“As you wish. I am happy to assist.”

“I’m sure,” Neirah drawled. “What would I do without your scintillating conversation?”

Brianna giggled and Neirah rolled her eyes. “I’m leaving in a couple days, so I’ll see you both then. Oh, and Peewee. Since you’re coming with me to the Winter Palace, Josephine suggested you join our lesson things.”

She nodded slowly. “Okay…”

Neirah laughed. “Don’t sound so excited. I’m counting on you to get me out of it.”

When Neirah left a few minutes later, Brianna let out a gusty sigh and collapsed onto the couch. “Yikes.”

Solas moved to his desk. “I assume that was not what you were expecting.”

“No, but I should’ve, because I need someone to show me the ropes if I’m going to be there. Otherwise, I’ll embarrass myself and the Inquisition. Anything Neirah does would look tame compared to me.”

“You give yourself too little credit. The Game can be brutal, yes, but I am confident your charm will garner the favor of many at the Winter Palace.”

“Wait, I’m  _ charming? _ ” 

“You possess an unsullied innocence and strength of character that would win the heart of anyone with little effort.”

_ What about you? _ She opened her mouth to reply. But with what, she didn’t know.


	13. Whispers of Pain

**\- Chapter Thirteen -**

**Whispers of Pain**

“Above all, appearance is everything,” Vivienne said with a pointed look at Neirah. 

Neirah tossed her horns insolently. “Sure, Viv. I’ll chop these off just for you.”

“Not what I meant, darling.”

Neirah sighed and slumped in her seat.

Brianna caught the chagrin on Josephine’s face and snorted.

“This applies to you as well,” Vivienne continued, her icy gaze raking her from head to toe. “With the apostate present, it is paramount that you refrain from all interactions with him. You will be at the Inquisitor’s side, representing her and the Inquisition. The eyes of Thedas will be on you as well. It would not do to be a source of gossip and detract from the Inquisitor’s mission. To be seen with an elven apostate would win you few favors at court.”

Neirah flicked an imaginary speck of dust off her sleeve, fighting a smirk.

Brianna lounged against the balcony, but she knew the truth was written all over her face. She would not give Vivienne the satisfaction of hearing a confession, however. Not when her feelings weren’t reciprocated.

When Brianna remained silent, Vivienne continued. “Events like this have a tendency to stir up passion and recklessness in those who hold secret affections for another. Your responsibility is to the Inquisitor. Imagine what a simple rumor would do to your reputation in such a setting.”

“Vivienne.”

Brianna barely heard Neirah’s warning over the pounding in her ears. She ran a tongue over her dry lips and nodded mutely. A faint tingle of static danced over her arms and she shrank back, drawing Josephine’s concerned gaze. “I just want to help,” she muttered.

“You have a history of that, my dear,” Vivienne said, her words laced with ice. 

“Why do you keep holding that over my head?” Brianna asked, frustration mounting. “I’m sorry, okay?” Electricity hissed against her neck and she froze.

“Whatever are you talking about? I forgave you for that little accident weeks ago. Put it out of your mind, Brianna. We cannot change the past.”

The faint sparking drew Neirah’s attention. “You’ve had your fun, Viv.”

“Indeed, I have.” She swept inside, dispelling the electricity with a wave of her fingers. 

Before Josephine or Neirah could say anything, Brianna strode after her. When they had passed Varric’s table, she grabbed her elbow. 

Vivienne eyed her hand on her arm. “Is there something you need?”

“I…” Barris was dead, and she couldn’t change that. “I don’t know. I know what you said a minute ago wasn’t true. I guess I’m just hoping we can fix things between us sometime.”

Vivienne jerked her arm free, leaning in as she hissed, “What happened is regrettable, but I have no desire for you to complicate future endeavors of mine. The assassination attempt on Empress Celene is the Inquisitor’s opportunity to shine. She and I will demonstrate a strong, united front to the people of Orlais.” Vivienne’s probing stare bore into her. “When I share the particular knowledge I have acquired with the Inquisitor, my value to the Inquisition will be unequivocal. You may have saved her life a time or two, but lives are saved every day, and most are never acknowledged. You will never be charged with the level of responsibility and influence she is. Even your… ability… is chaotic and destructive. I cannot imagine why you returned, but I hope you realize that the Inquisition’s interest in you is fleeting. I know what you fear most of all. Your usefulness will be marred by disaster, and you will be discarded, sent away to some far-flung corner of the country and forgotten by all.” Pity softened her features. “Even by the apostate.”

Brianna shook her head, swallowing thickly. “No…”

“Did you really think he would stop to think twice about you?” Vivienne trailed her fingers down her arm, squeezing her hand in a reassuring gesture. “I tried to warn you that his interests run much deeper than a casual dalliance. These things cannot be easy to hear, but you must know that I only wish to spare you further heartache.” Sighing ruefully, Vivienne cupped her cheek with her hand. “Such a young, pretty thing. I deeply regret that you have experienced such unbearable pain. That you remain here, in spite of that, is truly baffling. Tell me, was your attempt to return unsuccessful? Or were you no longer welcome where you had once belonged?”

_ How does she know…?  _

“How very tragic. To be so close to what you desire, but unable to attain it.”

Brianna jerked away, fingers pressed to her mouth. 

Vivienne turned on her heel, her full lips twisted in a smile. “We will speak again soon, my dear.”

xxx

Brianna lay slumped across her bed, staring out the window. Since Therinfal, she could enter the Fade in her dreams, though she was never able to shape it like Solas could. With his help, her bedroom was reconstructed in the Fade, protections woven through the image. She wasn’t sure she preferred this level of awareness during the night, although she was always refreshed in the morning. If she didn’t meet with Solas, the darker thoughts she normally kept at bay with work and study scratched relentlessly at the walls of her mind. 

Her memories were louder here. Recent events replayed repeatedly as if she were there, but her eyes saw nothing. Vivienne’s voice laced her thoughts with shards of ice. Brianna could almost taste the tang of static in the air. 

_ Your usefulness will be marred by disaster, and you will be discarded, sent away to some far-flung corner of the country and forgotten by all. Even the apostate. _

Brianna grabbed her pillow and buried her face in it. “Stop,” she mumbled. “I’ve had enough.”

_ Did you really think he would stop to think twice about you? _

Vivienne was right. Solas would leave, like he always did. He was an elven god and she was human. Romancing him in the game had been one thing, but this was another entirely. The first day she arrived in Haven, she knew this would happen if she stayed. And now here she was. Digging her own grave.

She had felt a sense of accomplishment when she saved Neirah’s life. But countless others had done far more than her, and would never receive the recognition they deserved. Her chest caved. Solas likely only made the effort to spend time with her because he pitied her, and she would be a detriment to the Inquisition without his supervision. 

“I guess I’m not really helping.” She sighed as she watched the flickering lights beyond her window. “They’re still going to fight Corypheus and everything will end the same. I don’t matter. Did I even matter when I was at home?” Vivienne’s voice whispered in her ear. She tried to drown it out, ignore it. “Please just stop… I hate this place. I want to go home…” She groaned into the pillow, pressing it against her face, but the tears wouldn’t come. “Mom, I’m sorry. I just want him to care. I do. Why does it have to be this way? Why won’t he see me? Mom, please help…”

A gentle touch brushed her shoulder and she jumped, recoiling when she saw Solas hovering over her. “What are you doing here?” she muttered, blinking back the burning in her eyes. She didn’t remember hearing the door open.

“You are distressed,” he said, his voice calming her jumbled nerves.

She steeled her heart against him, not wanting the pain that could only come from caring. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Vivienne spoke with you earlier. It appears it was not a pleasant conversation.” 

There was too much she couldn’t say. Too much to explain. “I’m okay. Really.”

He lowered himself onto the bed beside her and Brianna wrapped her arms around her knees. Why wouldn’t he leave? It killed her to push him away, but it hurt just as deeply when she allowed herself to believe they had a chance. But she couldn’t ask him to go. Not when her own heart betrayed her. Her lips trembled as the fight went out of her, and she pressed her face into his shoulder.

Solas’s arm went around her, and Brianna inhaled his earthy scent. She wanted to cry. To let go of the chaotic emotions churning in her mind. But her chest felt tight, like a lid she couldn’t pry loose. She sat very still in Solas’s arms, listening to the steady rhythm of his heart. “Tell me something about you I don’t know.”

His chest rumbled as he let out a low chuckle. “I imagine that would be difficult to do, considering your knowledge on the subject.”

“I dunno. I know the big things. But little details, not so much.” He hummed in thought, and Brianna pressed closer, savoring the feel of his arms around her shoulders. 

“I think nugs are delightful creatures. I am quite happy to cross paths with them.”

Brianna giggled. “And here I expected some deep, dark secret. I love them, too.”

“I believe our spymaster keeps one as a pet.”

“Schmooples II.” Brianna grinned at the look on Solas’s face. “C’mon, it’s a cute name.”

He shot her a sidelong glance. “If you say so.” His gaze moved away. “You know more about me than most. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I had not made the mistakes I did. If there had been another way.”

Brianna laid a hand on his arm. An image of him holding the shattered orb flashed through her mind. “Just because it seems like there’s no other way, doesn’t mean there isn’t one.” Tendrils of dread curled around her heart.  _ Don’t leave. Just stay with me. I care about you. I’m so sorry, but I do.  _

He paused, and then covered her hand with his own. “Sometimes, we are compelled to make the most of our decisions, no matter how much we may wish for a different outcome.”

Brianna only wished she knew how to help him without getting her heart broken.


	14. Intrinsic Pool

**\- Chapter Fourteen -**

**Intrinsic Pool**

“Out of curiosity, have you learned anything more about your blast?”

Brianna glanced at the back of Neirah’s head, careful not to meet Solas’s gaze as they walked. She could feel the hot sun frying the back of her neck as she kicked up sand with each step. They had been wandering around the Forbidden Oasis for hours, clambering over rocks and getting hopelessly lost as they struggled to locate the temple where the mysterious shards could be used. But the sun was dipping towards the horizon, with no clear path in sight. 

Ever since Solas had witnessed her mortifying breakdown, Brianna hadn’t had the heart to seek him out in the Fade to continue their discussions of her ability. It felt like there was something between them. What exactly, she didn’t know. She swallowed her embarrassment and replied, “Um… Not really. Solas said it can’t be linked to any kind of magic, so that makes it harder to study. I’ve tried, but it hasn’t happened again, here or in the Fade.”

“Maybe that’s a good thing,” Varric said, sweat beading on his forehead as he trudged up the sandy hill. Brianna shot him a look, and he shrugged. “Hey, I’m just saying.”

She heard everything he didn’t say.

“He wasn’t thinking that,” Cole said, the only one who didn’t seem to be struggling with their environment. “He worries about you.”

Brianna shook her head, ready to change the subject. “So far, it’s only happened when I held your hand while it was connected to a rift.”

Neirah chuckled. “Held my hand? More like broke all the bones in my wrist. You’ve got one hell of a grip, Peewee.”

“Breaking bones? Doubtful. I just wanted you to close that rift.”

Neirah lifted her brows, white hair moving in the hot wind. “Any chance you’d want to try it again sometime?”

“Maybe…? I don’t know…”

“What if I said there wouldn’t be anyone else around? Just us and some lame ass demons. That’s it.”

Her stomach tightened. The last time… 

“It won’t be like last time,” Cole said. “No ladders. No templars. Just a lot of sand. I think it’s in my boots.”

A chuckle escaped Brianna’s lips at the perplexed look on his face. 

Neirah grabbed her arm, palm sparking. “C’mon.” She shot her a conspiratorial wink. “Knock us on our asses, Peewee. Show us what you can do.” When Brianna balked, she added, “It’s okay, you know. It might help.”

“I believe that if you follow the Inquisitor’s suggestion,” Solas said, “it would be the next step to accepting what you can do and overcoming what happened at Therinfal.”

Brianna’s chest caved, her eyes locked on the shards of the rift sliding against each other. But Neirah was right. There wasn’t anyone here except for them. With her friends at her back, the barriers in her mind buckled. The past had a place. Just not here.  _ Sunshine. Crystal grace. Obsidian.  _ “Okay.”

Neirah whooped and drew her greatsword. “We’re going in, guys!” She swung wide, clearing a path through the demons. 

Brianna slogged through the sand behind her. Solas’s barrier washed over her, while several spirits fell to Varric’s hail of bolts. Cole blinked in and out of her vision, backstabbing a rage demon before fading with a puff of green mist. 

Neirah knocked back a demon with a powerful kick, flashing Brianna a wicked grin and lifting her hand.

Brianna choked on the tangy scent of demon blood, adrenaline pumping through her veins. The terrifying images from her nightmares clawed at her mind, warring with memories of home. But she slapped her hand against Neirah’s wrist, focusing solely on the rift. 

Brianna clutched her chest as her heart fluttered. “Something’s wrong,” she said, but her voice sounded distant, and Neirah gave no response. Several flickering strands of white energy shot from Brianna’s hand, weaving together with Neirah’s, and linking them with the tear. A pulsing wave rocked outward from the rift, kicking up sand and demons. A hot pain burned briefly at the base of her skull, and the rift snapped closed. 

Neirah stared at her in amazement. “What the hell was that?!”

Brianna shook out her tingling hand. “I don’t… know?”

“Show off. You did those fancy force noodles on purpose, didn’t you?” Neirah clapped her on the back, and Brianna staggered. “What’s next? Punching your own rifts? Bringing down the damn sky or some shit? Did the job, though. Look at them on their asses!”

“Us or the demons?” Varric dusted himself off, finishing off a demon with a bolt to the head. “What’s this I hear about force noodles?”

Cole cocked his head, staring at her. “It folded, flexible, turning inside out. It was pretty on the other side.”

“Now that’s just creepy,” Neirah said. “Cut it out, Cole.”

“Something happened. It hurt.” Brianna propped her hands on her knees, swallowing to dislodge the pressure in her ears. When she glanced up, Solas’s eyes were burning with something she couldn’t name. “It hurt a lot.”

“Solas. Quit gawking and get over here.”

“It’s okay, Neirah. It doesn’t anymore.” Her fingers moved across the area.

Solas took her hand in his own, turning it upwards. “The Inquisitor’s mark caused her pain before she halted the growth of the Breach. Did you feel something similar?”

His fingers were warm and firm around hers, the pads of his thumbs pressed against her palm. Her chest constricted, and she shook her head. “It tingled like I slept on it wrong, but no pain there. Just my head.”

“Is this the first time your ability has manifested this way? I’d be curious to know if you did something differently. Did you direct the force through Neirah’s mark to seal the rift?”

A tiny smile curved Brianna’s lips.

“Hey! You’re supposed to be helping, not drowning her in pointless questions!”

“The purpose of the questions is to determine how the change took place, Inquisitor,” he replied patiently. “This is a magic I have not seen in my travels or in dreams. Nothing in the Fade has even remotely resembled what Brianna just demonstrated. It is both remarkable and unique, and warrants further study.”

With a playful grin, Brianna whispered, “Fade nerd.”

Solas’s eyes lowered to her lips, and the corner of his mouth lifted. His fingers traced slow patterns across her palm. In that rare, unguarded moment, she glimpsed both admiration and concern. 

Neirah tipped her head with a gusty sigh. “Well, if you two are done staring awkwardly at each other…”

Jerking her hand away, Brianna spun on her heel. “Yep! No, everything’s fine!”

Varric propped Bianca on his shoulder. “You sure you’re doing alright?”

“Camp just sounds really good right about now.” At that moment, her stomach gurgled loudly enough to rival a demon. Neirah laughed, and Brianna caught the twist of Solas’s lips. She blushed, trailing Neirah down into the canyon, wiping the sweat from her forehead. The knot that had been tightening since Therinfal began to loosen. 

xxx

That evening, the five of them relaxed around a campfire near the Intrinsic Pool, the steady rush of the waterfall resonating off the sandstone walls of the gully. Tuskets frolicked in the stream, shying away when they noticed the party. 

Brianna sighed as she leaned against a rock. “It’s so beautiful here. And peaceful.” She tilted her head back with a dreamy smile. A clicking whistle reached Brianna’s ears and she lifted her head to see a pair of nugs scampering by, their pointed ears swiveling. They chirped and dashed through the water, disappearing behind a clump of spindleweed. When she turned, Solas was studying her with a look that threatened to pick apart the hastily built barriers around her heart. Her traitorous eyes dipped to his lips before she looked away, cheeks warm.

“You’re red.”

“It’s from the sun, Cole. Didn’t you see how bright it was today?”

“It’s because he helps.” Cole stared at her innocently. “Heart racing, blood warm beneath pale skin. Didn’t want to fall, but aching anyway. Longing, lonely, lost… Does she-”

“That’s enough, Cole.” Solas stared into the fire, the crackling flames reflected in the depths of his eyes.

Brianna’s gaze skipped between them.

“Damn, Cole…” Neirah shook her head with a barely concealed grin. “You really enjoy making people uncomfortable, don’t you? Even I’m not that bad.” She glanced at Brianna. “I guess you’re okay with earlier then? With the rift?”

“It was… kind of fun, actually.”

“That’s what we like to hear,” Varric said, lifting his drink to her. “Getting past inner bullshit is something to be celebrated.”

“It’s thanks to you guys that I’m where I am now. Therinfal was just stuck inside somewhere, and you’re right. It was bullshit. Here’s to getting over it and moving forward.” She lifted her own mug.

Neirah chugged her drink noisily. 

“Envy was loud, but you were louder,” Cole said. “Even when you didn’t know you could push everything away, you wanted to try. To help. Like me. You like to help people.” Blinking, he cocked his head. “You’re brighter when I’m around. You like me.”

Brianna laughed softly. “I do, Cole. I like you a lot. You’re very special.”

“Except when he embarrasses the shit out of us,” Neirah drawled.

“What, you? I haven’t heard him say anything incriminating about you yet.”

“I’ve been lucky.”

“So no dark secrets, then?”

The silence that followed was heavy. “You may have told the council what you saw. About how I got this.” She flexed her left hand, eyes dark. “But I still don’t remember a thing about Justinia or Corypheus or any of it. There’s just this unnerving, empty space in my head.”

“Tell me about before,” Brianna said. “Who you were before the Inquisition.”

“Just a merc, making a name for myself beyond ‘oxman’ or ‘animal.’The more I got around, the more I saw how people judge people for the most ridiculous reasons. But I want a world where people can learn to accept the differences in others and stop making things worse for everyone else.” She shook her head, scratching between her horns. “I don’t know why I give a damn. Maybe it’s this stupid mark. I hated it at first. But it gave me something to fight for. Whatever the reason, whatever strange twist of fate made a Tal-Vashoth the Inquisitor, I’ll give this Corypheus bastard what’s coming to him. If he wants to drown the world in demons, he’s going to have to get through me first.”

Brianna stared at her over her knees. “I wish I had your confidence.”

With a self-deprecating laugh, Neirah propped herself up on her elbows and stared up at the stars. “I’m scared shitless, just like the next guy. The only difference is that I have to pretend like I know what I’m doing.”

“You don’t have to save the world by yourself, Glowbug,” Varric said. “Anyone here would lay it all on the line for you if it came down to it.”

“Rough hands mending broken hearts. She’s soft, but she doesn’t let it show.” Cole sat very straight under his oversized hat.

Several moments passed in silence, the fire popping quietly in the sand as each was lost in their own thoughts.

“Guys, wait!”

Brianna jumped, blinking at Neirah. 

“I just remembered something important about the conclave.”

“Well, spill it,” Varric said.

“I think I remember someone calling me. But the important part is that right before that, I was having  _ sex with a dwarf. _ ”

Brianna hurled an empty mug at her while Neirah collapsed onto the sand with a cackle.

“And that qualifies as crucial information?” Solas shook his head.

“How does that work if you’re…?”

“Cole, don’t ask!” Brianna flung a hand over his mouth.

Neirah grinned wickedly.

Solas lifted an eyebrow. “And you decided to tell us this, why?”

“It was my first time with a dwarf, so it made an impression. I don’t think either of us got much out of it. No offense, Varric.”

“None taken. It’s an interesting story.”

Brianna stared at him aghast. “How are you not wildly uncomfortable right now?”

He shrugged with a slow grin. “She already said he wasn’t her type, and she knows not to make any advances when Bianca’s around.” 

“Well, thanks for making it awkward.”

“You’re welcome, Peewee. Speaking of unusual couplings, ever get it on with a spirit, Solas?”

“ _ Neirah! _ ”

“I will pretend you didn’t ask me such a ridiculous question.”

“So… yes?”

Groaning, Brianna staggered to her feet. “I’m going to bed…  _ by myself, _ while you guys talk about who knows what.” 

“You sure? Might be dangerous sleeping alone.”

Brianna made a face at Neirah. “If a nug attacks me in my tent, I’ll scream really loud.” She turned on her heel and strode away, Neirah and Varric laughing behind her.

xxx

The pool beneath the waterfall shimmered with pale fragments of the bright, full moon. The bushes growing along the stream moved and whispered in the night wind, their branches a shimmering reflection of the waking world. Brianna allowed herself to relax as she stared up at the sheets of water cascading down the steep wall of the gully. This world had called to her from the beginning, blurring her vision of the future and what she wanted. She pushed her tunic sleeves to her elbows, realizing it had been days since she last thought about her family. 

Cold brushed the back of her hand, and she started.

“I did not intend to alarm you.” Solas stood several paces away, fingers locked behind his back. 

“Just surprised.” She smiled as the ice vanished in the breeze. “Again?”

Something flickered in Solas’s gaze and he inclined his head.

Brianna lifted her palm upward as a sparkling trail of cold traced across her skin, weaving between her fingers and curling around her wrist. It moved upwards, raising the hairs on her arm as it spiraled toward her shoulder. Frost dusted the strands of hair that escaped her ponytail, whispering across her neck and jaw. Brianna shivered, but when she blinked, Solas was gone. 

A voice in her ear stopped her heart. “Enjoyed that, did you?”

Turning, she came face to face with him, his eyes nearly glowing in the moonlight.  _ Stupid Fade step.  _ “Uhh… yes?” He lifted a brow and she blushed. She couldn’t think straight with him looking at her like that. She wrapped her arms around herself, rubbing away the gooseflesh on her arms. 

“I’m curious to learn more about what happened with the rift.” He eased onto a boulder at the pool’s edge, leaning back to watch her. “Did you alter your ability consciously to weave with the threads of Neirah’s power?”

Brianna huffed a laugh. “Most of what I do is totally by accident. So, no, I don’t think so.” She hesitated, conscious of his attention on her. “It happened really fast. I tried not to think about Therinfal, and thought about my family instead. But the biggest thing was focusing on helping Neirah close the rift.”

“Tell me how Therinfal was different from today.”

“Well… At Therinfal, I just wanted to keep Neirah’s hand up, because she needed to seal the rift before more demons came through. But this time, I was thinking more about the connection.” She turned to him with a quizzical look. “Do you think that’s what caused it?”

“It seems your ability can be channeled by your focus, which proves that it is not merely destructive. However, it is still quite different from any school of magic I am familiar with. I imagine not many forms of magic would be able to join with the Inquisitor’s mark as yours did.” He stood. “You were aware that your ability was untested and chaotic, and in spite of that, you were willing to take a risk.”

“I really didn’t want to at first,” Brianna admitted. “But I knew I had to get over Therinfal sometime.” She shrugged. “Maybe I’m not completely useless after all.”

“You are many things, Brianna. Useless is not one of them.”

She swallowed thickly. “So… what. You got sick of them harassing you and decided to check on me while I slept?”

A corner of his mouth lifted. “They mentioned desire demons disguised as nugs, and I was concerned for your well-being.”

Her laughter resonated on the steep walls above them. “Poor little nugs. What did they ever do to have such horrible things said about them?”

“I like to believe they are quick to forgive us foolish people. They realize we haven’t acquired the secret to a peaceful existence as they have.”

That playful glimmer in his gaze would be the death of her. “Oh?” She tipped her head towards him with a smile. “And what secret is that?”

Some of the light went out of his eyes. “If I knew, I would be living with a colony of nugs.”

Her chest caved. “Do you regret being here?”

He took a step closer, his hands once more clasped loosely behind his back. The way he looked into her eyes was hauntingly familiar, and her heart took up an erratic rhythm as he said, “Strange, how I used to know the answer to that question.”

“And now…?”

“You are a mystery. In all the years I’ve wandered the Fade, I’ve never met anyone that has baffled me as you have. First, you fail to manifest in the Fade entirely, which has no logical explanation. And when you do, it is after you demonstrate singular abilities despite not being a mage. You are unable to shape the Fade to your will, but demonstrate an awareness while present in it matched by any with magical talent.” His gaze warmed. “Twice, you saved the Inquisitor’s life. Today, you overcame what happened at Therinfal and showed great resolve and strength of character. Although you have found yourself in a very different world from your own, you have continued in your tireless efforts to aid the Inquisition, regardless of adversity.”

“You didn’t mention the part where I locked myself in my room for weeks.” Brianna looked away. “I haven’t done that much, and what I told the council didn’t really change anything. I’m afraid I’ve been making things worse instead of better.”

“You’re mistaken,” Solas said. “The Inquisitor would not be with us this evening if you had not intervened. She thinks very highly of you. As do I.”

“Really? I probably annoyed you to pieces in the beginning.”

“On the contrary. The fact that you knew about my origin and wished to help, regardless, baffled me. I had never told anyone who I was, but you knew everything and kept my secret willingly.”

_ And right then, I felt the whole world change… _

_ Sweet talker… _

Curiosity sparked in Solas’s eyes. “Was that my voice?”

Brianna covered her mouth with her hand, eyes wide. Solas chuckled, a low sound that made her heart flutter. “You can read my mind?!”

“Not in the way you might think. Your mind is… audible, in the Fade. But only when there is strong feeling or emotion behind it.”

“Oh god…” Brianna covered her face with her hands, peeking out at him from between her fingers. 

“This time was… unusual.”

“Do I want to know?”

His eyes were bright as he searched her face. “It wasn’t an image exactly. More like a feeling, or a memory. Who was that woman I was with? I did not recognize her.”

“Wait, you saw that?!” If only the ground would swallow her. When their eyes met, all she could imagine was the first kiss shared with the Inquisitor at Haven. The way he had given in, kissing the lips of a beautiful young elf with a marked hand and impossible dreams of saving the world. The way he had held her, the tension in his shoulders betraying the anxiety and need warring within him. Her heart had ached every time, knowing full well the reason for his self-inflicted isolation. 

Solas’s lips curved and she batted him away. “Ah, stop doing that! That’s so unnerving!”

“I have no choice in the matter. Your mind is quite vocal.”

“Well… I don’t know! This is so embarrassing.”

“Who was she?”

Brianna sighed. “The Inquisitor.” At his confused look, she continued, “In each of the timelines I saw, she was always an elf. And the two of you always ended up together.”

“Ended up together… Is that what you meant when you said I should ‘tell her how I felt’?”

“You remember that? Well, yeah. I had no idea it would be Neirah.”

“Interesting.”

“Interesting?! I’m completely mortified right now!” Brianna groaned, covering her face again. 

Solas’s fingers wrapped around hers, drawing them away. “You know who I am. What I must do.”

She grabbed his hands, his words twisting into her gut like a knife. “Don’t… I don’t want you to go.” When had she let herself get this attached? She knew what his future held for him. That there was no room in it for anyone but himself. But the moment she had laid eyes on him, her heart had been completely captivated. In the depths of her being, she knew she had allowed herself to fall for him, regardless of the consequences. Right or wrong, it didn’t matter. He had her heart before she could say no.

The look in his eyes broke her heart. “I can hear you,” he murmured.

Blushing deeply, she wrapped her arms around him, crushing her face against his chest. Dread snaked around her heart, laced with a strong sense of the inevitable. Gripping his arms, she drank in the scent of him, his steady heartbeat grounding her. “Haven’t you ever done anything just because you felt like it? Not because it was ‘right’ or brought you closer to a goal, but because you wanted to?” Her gaze dragged upwards to meet his.

“I do not think this is wise.”

Panic iced her veins. He was pulling away from her. “Then why are you looking at me like that? Like you might care? You don’t always have to think about what you ‘should’ do. It’s not really living if you don’t take chances. Life itself is a risk. That’s what makes it beautiful.”

“If you know what my future holds, you must know that such a relationship would benefit neither of us. I do not wish to hurt you.”

“I don’t care,” she said. “It’s too late. I know you’ll leave and I can’t stop you. But right now, that doesn’t matter. You always hold yourself back. You don’t have to. Just let go. You’re not alone anymore.” His uncertainty was clear, as well as the pain born of the endless, solitary years spent living with the reality his choices. She saw what it had done to him and her soul ached with what she could not fully understand. But there was a part of him, however small, that was just as human as she was. The truth of it tore her apart. He didn’t have to bear the weight of his past alone, and all she wanted was for him to know that. 

With a steadying breath, she curled her fingers around the edges of his vest and tugged him towards her. His eyes registered surprise, but she didn’t give him a chance to speak as she pressed her lips to his. Her heart constricted as his lips moved hesitantly against her own, slow and cautious. She had never initiated a kiss before and had no idea if she had done it right. But he was warm and so incredibly soft, and her senses swam.

When she pulled away, she turned her head to peek up at him. He watched her lips for a moment, an adorable look of bewilderment creasing his features. Without a word, he gripped her shoulders and drew her towards him, his mouth claiming hers. Brianna’s heart beat wildly in her chest as he held her tightly, bending over her as his lips moved with an urgency and longing that brought tears to her eyes. Once, he paused to stare at her, a kind of wonder on his face, before kissing her again. She sighed.  _ Totally worth it. _

His eyes turned sad, and she put a finger over his lips. “I know what you’re going to say. That we shouldn’t. That our kiss was ill-considered. That leaving would be kinder in the long run. But what about what’s in your heart?” She placed her palm against his chest, cupping his cheek with her other hand. She pushed past the ache in her chest to smile at him bravely. “Maybe you’ve always done this on your own, but you don’t have to.”

Before he could answer, too afraid of the unspoken words that hung between them, she allowed the pull of morning to sweep her away. Sunlight streamed into her tent as she trailed her fingers across her lips, imagining storm-grey eyes staring into hers.


	15. Lingering Doubts

**\- Chapter Fifteen -**

**Lingering Doubts**

Brianna sat wedged between two large sacks of flour, very mad at herself. The kitchens were deserted, and she leaned her head against the wall.  _ Why did I have to go and kiss him without even knowing if he cares or not? I guess he already knew how I felt, but him saying he admires my character doesn’t mean squat. _ She let out a gusty sigh.  _ How am I supposed to deal with this? _

“You don’t want to be alone. Not really.”

Brianna jumped. She glared at Cole, perched in the rafters, watching her.

“What are you doing down there?”

“Hiding from Solas. Why else would I hang out with fruit baskets?”

“You want to be with him. He makes you feel more yourself. I don’t understand. How can you be more yourself than you already are?”

“Love can’t really be explained, Cole. Maybe loving him was the first thing I had for myself since my mom’s accident. I chose that. Probably a stupid choice, but there it is.” 

“Why?”

“He doesn’t care about me the way I care about him.”

“That is true.”

Brianna’s chest tightened. 

Cole appeared on the table in the middle of the room and cocked his head. “You want him to love you back. Why don’t you ask him?”

“I told him, but… I didn’t really give him a chance to say how he felt.”

“He left with Neirah and Varric to find the grey warden. He didn’t think you wanted to see him.”

She groaned. “Looks like I’m fending off Vivienne on my own. Just wonderful.”

A ghost of a smile flitted about his pale lips. “Vivienne wants to make you see, but doesn’t know how to make the words fit. She isn’t bright like you. You’re special. Different, but not the only one.” He blinked. “She tried to come through, but she was knocked backwards, broken. She wanted you to know, but couldn’t say it.”

“Vivienne?”

“Vivienne is old,” Cole said solemnly. “She acts like she doesn’t care, but she does.”

“I didn’t need to know that.”

“You don’t want to like her. That’s very strange.”

“She tried to get me to leave before.” Brianna rubbed at her face with her sleeve. “It was awful. She’s probably still trying to get rid of me.”

“They can’t explain you. They don’t know what you want or why you stayed when it was hard. But they’re glad you’re here. You shine differently when you’re happy.”

“I’m so out of place here, Cole. Why do I have to care so much?”

“That is what makes her so beautiful.”

When she lifted her head, Cole was gone.

xxx

“I remember everything! Brianna was right!”

It had been a long day. Endless fighting through Adamant fortress, Corypheus’s pain-in-the-ass dragon, falling into the Fade… And she still hadn’t spoken with Solas yet. Brianna gave Neirah a quizzical look. “Right about what exactly?”

“About what happened to me at the conclave. That’s  _ exactly _ how it happened.” Neirah turned to the spirit that so closely resembled the Divine. “It was you. You were in the Fade with me. But… Justinia died. She must have. Whatever you are, thank you for helping me find my memories. But Erimond is turning the grey wardens into demons. We need to get out of here.”

Hawke scowled at Alistair. “We have the Grey Wardens to thank for this mess.”

“It wasn’t their fault!” Alistair argued. “We don’t have time for this. Once we get back to Adamant, we can argue about it as much as we like.”

“Oh, right. Adamant. Where there’s a demon army waiting to tear us to pieces. Thanks to who? The  _ Wardens _ .”

Neirah stepped between them, holding out her arms. “Cut it out, both of you! The Nightmare knows we’re here. We’ll fix this, but until then,  _ shut it. _ ” 

Hawke and Alistair glared at each other, but the group trekked onward, following the spirit deeper into the raw Fade. Water sucked at Brianna’s boots as she plodded through a shallow pool. The sound of trickling water echoed off the jagged stone walls that reached into the dark sky, thick with green, roiling clouds.

Glimpsing Solas several paces behind her, she debated saying something to him. Anything to break the tension between them. Her footsteps slackened as her mind circled fruitlessly. Nothing came to her. Just as she decided to keep her incohesive thoughts to herself, she heard from behind her, “I would advise keeping pace with the others. It would be unwise to fall behind.”

She scratched her nose. “I bet you’re enjoying yourself here.” 

“To be physically present in the Fade is quite remarkable. The Inquisitor’s return from the Fade was astonishing, but I reasoned the mark enabled her to make the journey without any negative repercussions. I was not aware one could survive the experience.”

Brianna glanced toward Hawke and Alistair. “I think I prefer the dream version, to be honest. Knowing the future isn’t as great as I thought it would be.”

Solas fell into step beside her. “I cannot imagine possessing such knowledge. The fact that your first thought was to offer your knowledge to the Inquisition is admirable, considering the burden of responsibility that places on you.”

A small laugh escaped her. “I don’t think I really thought all that through. Introducing myself as the alien that knows the future may not have been the best plan, but it happened.” Her brow lowered. “So many people say they want to know. They don’t realize that you end up spending every day dreading the inevitable, wondering if you can change it, or if you should.”

“If it is any consolation, you do yourself a great disservice by believing you lack the fortitude to wield such an ability. No one person should be required to bear such a burden, and yet you chose to do so. I would have you know that you impress me. Many would misuse that power, but I have only seen your desire to do good.”

Heat suffused Brianna’s cheeks. Did he not hold what happened at the Intrinsic Pool against her? “Sometimes… well, a lot of times… I wish I had kept what I knew to myself. And then maybe Barris… Maybe things would’ve been different. It’s so much more than simply regurgitating what you know. I just wish I had realized that at the beginning.” Out of everything she knew about him and his world, the one piece of knowledge that still plagued her was the fate of his orb. Maybe she couldn’t change his fate. Maybe she shouldn’t. But she realized she would hate herself forever if she kept it from him, without giving his bleak, tragic future a chance. She put a hand on his arm, stopping him. “So, I haven’t told you everything. I think we should-”

Before she could finish, Corypheus’s mocking voice echoed through the desolate landscape as the Nightmare taunted the party. Brianna felt their guilt and frustration like a heavy weight. There was a long, agonizing silence, and she prayed it did not see her; that the unseen terror was unaware of her existence. 

“ _Did you really believe he would abandon his life purpose for a human?_ ” the voice rumbled, dark and taunting. “ _You will be alone, and if you ever find your mirror, I will know exactly how to find them. You will suffer the same fate as your mother._ ”

Brianna’s throat went dry. She wanted to scream at the terrible voice in the sky, but the ground no longer felt steady beneath her. Strong arms encircled her waist, Solas’s voice close to her ear. 

Neirah unsheathed her greatsword, gripping the hilt tightly. “Solas, get Peewee and get moving. The barrier is just ahead and we’ve got trouble.” 

Howling demons poured from the rugged cliffs as the spirit worked to dismantle the swirling force that hindered their path. Hawke and Alistair followed close on Neirah’s heels, Varric covering them from atop a nearby boulder. Brianna gripped her head in her hands as Solas pushed her against the rock wall, a barrier sliding over her skin. “Solas…”

“I am here, Brianna.”

“He knows.”

The backs of his fingers grazed her jaw before he turned to join the fight. 

She was going to be sick. Lifting her face from her hands, she found her palms wet with moisture. Dying demons screamed distantly. Between the sluggish beats of her heart, she focused on Solas’s back, inches away, the way his shoulders moved as he swung his staff. She reached for him, hooking her fingers into the armholes of his vest and pressing herself against his back. When he stilled, reality condensed to where they touched. 

As the companions drove the demons back, the barrier vanished, and the group set off at a run. The rift Erimond had opened flickered and hummed just ahead of them. But before they could reach it, the Nightmare itself materialized out of the green mist; a monstrous spider, covered in eyes. The spirit that had led them through the Fade rose to meet it, beating it back with a flash of blinding light as a Fear demon rose to face them. Solas continued to shield Brianna, always between her and the demon that swung at them with lethal talons. She drew her dagger, but the handle slipped in her clammy grasp.

A hideous, clicking screech tore through the Fade. Neirah was facing down the Nightmare, Alistair and Hawke behind her.

“We must hurry!” Solas urged.

Brianna jogged after him, two steps behind, drawing close just in time to hear Neirah say, “Alistair.” Her heart lodged in her throat as she stared at them, speechless.

Alistair nodded grimly. “Go. And tell my wife I love her.” He looked back at them one last time before lifting his sword, the blade reflecting the green glow of the rift. “For the Wardens.”

Brianna was swept along with the companions, leaping into the rift and tumbling to the stone floor of Adamant fortress, Alistair’s shouts still ringing in her ears.

xxx

Tendrils of sunlight streamed through the treetops, dancing with dust motes. Brianna pressed her hands into the soft grass beneath her, leaning against an ancient tree and staring up into the thick branches high above her head. Her nose tingled with the earthy scent of growing things. After their return from Adamant, Solas had invited her to the Fade. She wasn’t sure why, but hoped it would give her a chance to improve things between them. “I can see why you spend so much time here,” she said, the mossy bark rubbing through her thin tunic. “Makes me not want to go back.”

“Similar thoughts have crossed my mind.” Solas reclined against the same tree, ankles crossed. “There is much the Fade has to offer. However, I would not have learned as much as I could if I spent my nights in isolation.”

“You’ve learned a lot from spirits?”

“Naturally. Contrary to what most people believe, the vast majority of spirits are merely curious and eager to share what they know and remember. It is being forced against their inherent nature that causes them to become hostile. But those I normally encounter are only playful wisps, figments of memory, or ancient spirits that have existed for more than a millennia.”

“Like Wisdom.”

“I’d be curious to know what your opinion was of her when the two of you met.”

“She was really sweet! A little less… spirit-y than I was expecting. But yeah, she was really nice.”

Solas chuckled. “She spoke highly of you, as well.”

“Really?”

“Her opinions are well-founded. There is much about you to admire.”

“I’m glad she’s been there for you all this time. I wish I had a friend like her growing up.” She glanced down at her splayed fingers inches away from his. “Does knowing her help? Because she knows who you are when not really anybody else does?”

“Wisdom has been an invaluable source of information and reason when I was in need of council.”

“I more meant, do you feel less lonely when she’s around?”

Solas was quiet before he replied, “When you told me that Wisdom was summoned from the Fade and forced to act against her purpose in the version of Thedas you had seen, I could not imagine losing someone with whom I had shared so much. When two beings are acquainted for thousands of years, each sharing of their hearts and souls, the relationship goes beyond mere friendship to something that is irreplaceable.”

Brianna stared at her feet, grateful his gaze was on the treetops and not on her. She knew he didn’t mean it like  _ that _ . As if no other bond could compare to what he shared with another timeless, ageless being. Painfully aware of her mortality, she lifted her hand to stare at her palm, overcome with a yearning for something she knew she could never have. Despite her brief years, was it possible she could ever hope to have a connection as meaningful and heartfelt? She loved fiercely and deeply, with the span and brilliance of a falling star. She wondered if that could be enough for him. The moment passed, the unspoken question heavy on her heart. With a wobbly smile, she wrapped her arms around herself and said, “So… The Nightmare was pretty intense.”

“Were you aware that the grey warden would not survive?”

“Neirah’s actually kinda mad at me for that. Even though she knows I’m doing that anymore. No one should have to make the kind of choice she did. But I never would have left him behind.”

“Why? The wardens allowed corruption into their ranks, blind to the danger they should have recognized from the beginning. As if blood magic wasn’t a clear enough indication that everything Erimond said was folly.”

“Don’t get all riled up, I’m not disagreeing with you. I just have a soft spot for Alistair because I saw his timeline, too, and he’s a good person.” 

For once, Solas didn’t press the issue. Instead, he said quietly, “I did not expect the Nightmare to speak to you.”

Brianna gave a short laugh. “Me neither.”

Solas stood, holding out a hand to her. “Walk with me, Brianna.”

She took his hand, his smooth fingers curling around her own. She allowed him to lead her beside a gurgling stream, lined with crystal grace bushes and embrium stalks. In the dim space between the earth and the treetops, several wisps darted from tree to tree, circling the enormous trunks and tittering quietly. 

“I will not press the matter if you do not wish to speak of it,” Solas said. “But I wanted to give you the opportunity to do so, and offer my advice if you desire it.”

Brianna nodded, struggling to think beyond her hand cradled so gently in his.

“When we were in the Nightmare, you seemed as though you wished to tell me something. Does it have anything to do with what the Nightmare said to you?”

Brianna knew this was her chance to tell him everything. Time was slipping through her fingers, each day bringing her closer to an uncertain future. She could clearly picture the look on his face when he held the shattered pieces of his orb, no doubt wondering why she had never told him. 

Words lodged in her throat. She withdrew her hand from his and faced him.  _ Don’t think. Just tell him.  _ “Yeah, actually. You know how the nightmare mentioned a mirror? That’s what I used to get here. I came through an eluvian. My mom gave me one, not knowing what it was. I fell through it by accident, and even though it was still unlocked, I couldn’t go back through.”

Curiosity burned in Solas’s eyes. “I have never heard of travel through an eluvian being restricted to one direction. That should not be possible.”

“Yeah, I was really confused, too. To be honest, I thought you’d be more surprised about there being an eluvian in my world in the first place.”

“The elves of ancient Arlathan most commonly used eluvians for travel across long distances. However, there were rumors that certain eluvians led to other worlds. It was around that time that my people turned against Mythal, and I created the Veil. As far as I know, the validity of those rumors was never proven. Until your arrival, that is.”

She didn’t deserve the warm smile that lifted his lips. She looked away, folding her arms against her middle. “The day the templars attacked Haven, I went to the eluvian to say goodbye. But when I got there, it was gone. I don’t know what happened to it.”

“When we were preparing to evacuate, I asked to be given time to search the Fade for you, but Vivienne informed me it had been done. The Inquisitor wanted to stay behind until you had been found, but the First Enchanter’s mages were already searching for you.”

“Wait, she  _ looked _ for me?”

“Does that surprise you?”

“Well, yeah. We haven’t exactly been friends since Therinfal.”

Light reflected from the stream, flickering across his features. “I do not pretend to understand Vivienne, but perhaps her intentions are not as malicious as they first appeared. Losing someone important to you would have the capability of causing a lapse of judgment in anyone. If she was grieving the loss of a family member, it is unlikely she truly wished to bring you harm.”

A wisp twisted slowly through the air high above her. “She tried to get me to stop hanging out with you, you know. Emphasis on the word ‘tried’.”

Solas chuckled softly and Brianna died a little. “I see her attempts were unsuccessful.”

Emboldened by his nearness, she said, “She told me I’d be too much of a distraction for you.”

He shifted closer. “Vivienne may occasionally have some truly terrible ideas,” he said. “But this time, I believe she may have been right.”

“Is that such a bad thing?”

“There was a time when I may have believed that to be the case.” 

His voice was warm and her fingers twitched.  _ Now. Tell him now.  _ “There’s more.” She ducked her head. “So many people in my world get mad at you for keeping secrets, but that’s exactly what I’m doing. I want you to know everything. Especially… especially since the Forbidden Oasis.”

She couldn’t bring herself to look at him. Fear crushed her lungs. Whatever he chose to do with the information she was about to give him was out of her hands. Better he find out now than hate her later for withholding it from him. “Your orb breaks.”

A long silence followed, and she squirmed.

Solas studied her grimly. “How?”

“Corypheus. In the final fight, the Inquisitor uses it to destroy him and the new breach he makes.”

His hard stare pinned her in place. “Why are you telling me this?”

“I don’t know… You have a right to know what happens to it. I don’t know exactly what it is or what it does, but I saw it break in every timeline. And each time, you were more sad than I’ve ever seen you. Maybe I should’ve told you sooner, but you didn’t know me and I didn’t know what would happen or what you would do. And then everything started happening so fast…” She trailed off as Solas turned, moving a hand across his eyes. Worrying her lip, she took a step closer. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I was a coward. I just didn’t want to keep it from you anymore. I’m sorry, Solas. I… I don’t know what else to say.”

A heavy sigh escaped him. “Is there no way to recover it? Another way to defeat Corypheus without sacrificing my orb?”

“I don’t know… It takes so much power to destroy him and the new breach, and your orb has it.” Her fingers itched to touch him, to smooth away the lines the endless, weary years had etched across his face. She could see them so clearly now and wondered how she had missed them before.

His gaze dragged upwards to meet hers, as if it was a struggle for him to do so. “What happens after my orb is lost?”

“Um…”

“Tell me.”

“You leave.” Silence yawned between them like a widening chasm and Brianna hurried to fill the void. “You take Mythal from Flemeth to help you regain some of your lost power. Two years later, the Inquisitor finds you. You tell her about your plan to tear down the Veil.” She should shut up. Hadn’t she promised herself she wouldn’t do this anymore? But the weight of everything she knew and everything she felt weighed on her, crushing her. “After that? I don’t know what happens to you. But I understand why you’re doing it.”

“Do you?” Solas looked at her sharply. “Is it possible for a human to understand centuries of history and culture lost because of one mistake? What if you had experienced those centuries, only to wake up and find everything you had helped to build destroyed because of your actions?”

“Fine. I don’t understand it. But I do know what it’s like when the stakes are really high and you have to make a choice. I’ve heard your sad story lots of times. That’s why I came to find you. I’m tired of you pushing away the Inquisitor and everyone who cares about you just because you have to walk your path of death or whatever. Don’t you realize that love goes so much deeper than that? No, it doesn’t make sense. But it’s there, whether you like it or not.”

The harsh lines around his eyes softened as he said, “My orb is tremendously valuable to me and I am loathe to see it destroyed after all my attempts to recover it.”

The pain in his eyes broke her heart. “I’m sorry…”

He placed a hand on her shoulder. “You have nothing to apologize for. Such a decision is not easily made. You are a brave young woman, and I am grateful you told me. Perhaps it is better to know of impending failure than to continue striving in vain.” 

Solas started to move past, but Brianna grasped his arm. Her voice was tight as she whispered, “Please don’t leave forever. Not yet. Please, Solas…”

Head bowed, he replied, “I must take some time to consider what you have told me. We will speak again soon, I promise.”

Before she could reply, the dream collapsed around her and she gasped awake.

xxx

Nearly a week had passed, and Solas had not returned. An image of Solas walking away from a bare-faced elven girl played through Brianna’s mind for the hundredth time. She pushed it away, scowling. Common sense told her that he was simply taking some time to figure everything out. It was better than the alternative. With a long sigh, she stared moodily out over the courtyard from her chair on Vivienne’s balcony.

“You awake over there? You’ll never learn how to hold a spoon if you don’t pay attention.”

“I know how to hold a spoon,” she grumbled.

Neirah shook her head. “Not the Orlesian way, you don’t. Look at me. The picture of poise and refinement.” Neirah struck an aristocratic pose before releasing a foundation-rattling belch. 

Josephine cleared her throat, and Brianna giggled. If anyone could help her get through this awful waiting, it was Neirah.

“If you wish to ruin your reputation at court, there are better ways to do it than mere ignorance.” Vivienne glared at the pair of them. “I hope I don’t have to remind you to conduct yourselves with grace and decorum during this time. How you act will reflect directly on the Inquisition.”

Neirah made a pouting face and shot a wink at Brianna. “Don’t worry, Viv. We’ll be the picture of civility.” She hauled herself to her feet. “Didn’t you have something to show me, Josie? A noble wanting a title or some nonsense?”

When they were gone, Brianna stood, turning to Vivienne. “I talked to Solas before he left. He mentioned something interesting.”

“A nearby ruin or some such, I expect.”

“Actually, it was you.”

Vivienne turned, lifting a delicately arched brow. “How interesting. You have my attention.”

“He said you tried looking for me. At Haven.”

“That I did. My mages were not able to locate you, however, unfortunate as it was.”

“I know things have been weird between us, and I’m sorry. But it means a lot that you looked for me.” 

“My dear, we were never enemies,” Vivienne said with a small laugh. “What happened was regrettable, but it’s in the past. Those who dwell on it do a great disservice to themselves. However, I’m curious as to what exactly our dear friend Solas had to say. I’m surprised he remembered my mentioning it.”

“He didn’t tell me details. I’m sorry if I made people worry.”

Vivienne reclined further into the cushions, pouring herself a glass of wine. “And against all odds, here you are. You possess an unexpected resourcefulness, and I imagine many are curious about you and where you’re from. This world can seem like a cruel, unfeeling place, but don’t trouble yourself, my dear. We only have your very best at heart.”


	16. Longing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hang onto your omelets everybody :3

**\- Chapter Sixteen -**

**Longing**

The walk across the ballroom floor was impossibly long. The hem of Brianna’s flowing skirts whispered against the marble tiles as she stepped closer to where Celene stood above the gawking crowds. Her fingers twitched as she resisted the urge to wipe the sweat beading on her forehead. All too aware of the many eyes on her, she kept her attention fixed on the empress, one trembling step after another. The court herald’s voice droned on. 

Vivienne and Josephine had fitted her for her dress days ago, pouring hours into making sure it was absolutely perfect. The creamy gown fit snugly across her torso, the long, fitted sleeves riding on the apex of her shoulders, accentuating her collarbone. Josephine’s excitement had been contagious, and when the day to depart had arrived, Brianna had nearly cried when she saw the all-too-familiar red uniforms. Neirah had laughed, reassuring her that they were only for riding. 

Brianna had glimpsed her reflection in the mirror once Josephine had finished dressing her for the ball. A strand of pearls was fastened around her throat, contrasting the dark lines drawn at her eyes. Her hair was swept up, falling into soft curls against her neck. Josephine had smiled, placing an ornate Orlesian mask over her eyes and tying it in place. She looked extraordinary, and Josephine told her so. Brianna hardly recognized herself, but as she made her slow walk ever closer to the empress, confidence lifted her shoulders and kept her head high. 

At last, she stood with Cassandra and Vivienne behind Neirah, who executed a flawless bow. 

The empress smiled, her voice a lilting purr as she greeted them. “Welcome to Halamshiral, Inquisitor. It brings me great joy that you grace us with your presence this evening.”

“The pleasure is mine, Your Grace,” Neirah replied, straightening.

Brianna swallowed a grin, taking in Neirah’s suit. In spite of Josephine’s pleading, Neirah had not been convinced to wear a dress. She struck a dashing figure in her tailored suit, shoulders straight, chin high. 

“Please, the night is young. Enjoy yourself,” Celene urged. “I look forward with great anticipation to what this evening will bring.”

One hand on her churning stomach, Brianna climbed the steps to the raised hallway that circled the ballroom. Leliana and Josephine met her and Neirah at the top of the stairs and ushered them to a quiet corner. 

“Going well so far.” Neirah tugged her gloves on more tightly. “At least she didn’t kick me out on my ass.”

“The evening isn’t over yet,” Cullen said, approaching the group. “We’ll need physical proof in order to obtain the best outcome. Is your decision the same, Inquisitor?”

“Gaspard is the most suited for keeping order,” Neirah said, her casual tone and stance belying the gravity of the situation. “But Briala is trying to make a better society for the elves. If the elves are hers, I’m not sure that’s such a bad thing. Having someone like that pulling the strings could mean progress for Thedas. The elves may not know how to handle the change when it comes, but progress never comes easy.”

Josephine looked doubtful but nodded.

“I know it’s a controversial choice, but in spite of the things said about her and Briala, Celene has only enabled the further segregation of elves from society by maintaining the alienages. Thedas may not be ready for it, but I am. If we don’t fight for them now, who else is going to be willing to clean up this mess?”

“Find that evidence,” Leliana said. “Tonight, the fate of Orlais rests in our hands.”

None of Josephine’s advice had prepared Brianna for the whirlwind of interplay that moved around her. A trio of finely-dressed ladies tittered behind their fans while their eyes shot daggers at a pair of men. A woman excused herself from her partner’s side, disappearing into the shadows with someone else. Soothing music flowed over the guests as they laughed and smiled, but Brianna felt hundreds of keen eyes upon her. 

She wandered into the Hall of Heroes, one gloved hand trailing across a statue’s base. She wanted nothing more than to collapse in the nearest chair. But that was not an option. Show no weakness. Show no fear. Pasting on a smile, she entered the next hallway. 

As she walked in, Solas looked up from where he reclined by the window. His eyes dipped to take her in before returning to her face. Her heart kicked behind her ribs. He had returned shortly before they set out for Halamshiral, shoulders bent, head bowed. The ride had been long, with no chance for them to speak. But seeing him now, her relief far outweighed any uncertainty. Maybe she shouldn’t be seen talking to him, but if she didn’t ground herself in something, she wouldn’t last the night. “Hello, stranger,” she said brightly. “Fancy meeting you here.”

He nodded. “An auspicious coincidence.” His warm gaze roved across her mask.

She lifted a hand, her fingers running over the cool metal. “Did you recognize me?”

“You would’ve had me fooled if not for your conspicuously unguarded smile. But you outshine all the other guests here.” He smiled, his lithe frame casually slung against the windowsill. “You look radiant.”

Brianna wondered if he could hear her pounding heart. “You clean up pretty nice yourself,” she said, watching the guests beyond the window, but acutely aware of him. Every time he moved, breathed, turned his head… She needed a drink. “You doing okay?”

“Very well, thank you. The servants have been accommodating, and most of the guests have been content to leave me in peace.”

“That’s good.”

A pause. “And you?”

“I’m fine.” She tried to keep a casual tone, but when silence stretched between them, she glanced at him. It was a mistake. The dim light from the window drew slanting patterns across his face, highlighting his cheekbones as he stared at her, brows furrowed. She needed to leave. Now. “Just not used to crowds, I guess.” Her voice sounded tight in her own ears and she winced. “I’ll see you later.” She could feel Solas’s eyes burning into the back of her head as she hurried away. 

She had only meant to have a little light conversation, and somehow ended up flirting with him? Everywhere she turned, there were couples in dark corners. A look exchanged from across the room, a tip of a fan, a nod, feather-light touches in passing that few could see. Whispers flew. And Brianna knew she was out of her league. 

xxx

Brianna wandered through the closed-off places in the palace, careful not to be absent for too long. Once or twice, she nearly stumbled into a palace guard, but managed to remain hidden until they passed. Errant couples flitted through her peripheral, as skilled at keeping to the shadows as any rogue. She guessed they were more aware of her than she was of them. 

Slipping into one of the parlors, she couldn’t deny the thrill she felt, hidden behind thick, Orlesian drapes as a pair of guards strolled past. Her pulse raced erratically whenever a sound caught her ear. She had never felt more alive.

Hushed whispers drifted from the nearest doorway. The heavy wooden door hung ajar, firelight flickering within.

An Orlesian accent reached her ears over the crackling of the fire. “...to investigate.”

“My lady already has her network. Why does she need this one?” The second voice was unmistakably elven.

“She would be a fool not to take an interest. Her ladyship desires Briala’s aid in discovering what the key is, considering her unique experience.”

A strained pause. “A new life for the elves, you said? Lady Briala already has plans for that. How could one eluvian possibly be better than hundreds?”

Brianna blinked.

“Do you really think her plan will make for lasting peace?” the Orlesian woman asked. “There has always been animosity between the elves and Orlais. You want that to end, don’t you? So what if I told you that the elves could rebuild somewhere other than Thedas?”

“If you mean Tevinter, Nevarra, or even Seheron, you’re mad as a-”

“No. Another  _ world. _ ”

The eluvian. They were talking about her eluvian. Brianna backed away from the door. She had heard enough. Soundlessly, she slipped away, returning to the vestibule. If Corypheus found it, that would be bad enough, but the elves as well? 

She approached the nearest Inquisition soldier. “Have you seen the Inquisitor?”

“She is in the ballroom, miss. Pretty tied up speaking with the duchess, I’m afraid.”

“Please tell her I need to speak with her when she has a chance. Someone is working with the elves to find a mirror of mine. She’ll understand.”

Whoever knew about her eluvian hadn’t discovered the secret to unlocking it. There was still time. Hooking her trembling fingers behind her back, she wandered toward the stairs leading to the library.  _ Maybe a little too exciting _ … 

Gently, she twisted the handle, surprised when it opened without difficulty. Moving into the room, she pulled the door shut behind her and the latch clicked in place. Quiet murmurs from below the balcony melded with the faint strains of music that escaped the ballroom. Moonlight shone through the tall windows, casting strange shadows across the bookshelves. There was an unnatural stillness, as if she were completely removed from the rest of the world.

With measured footsteps, she moved between the looming shelves. Muffled laughter reached her ears, a man’s low voice drifting towards her from the far side of the room. Moistening her lips, she peeked around a bookcase, the door to a study hanging open. Inside, a man was lifting a masked woman onto the desk while she loosened his breeches. Brianna jerked backwards, her shoulder dislodging a book from the shelf behind her. It landed with a thump, and the voices went silent. After several long moments, the woman hissed sharply, and something clattered to the floor. 

A firm grip went around Brianna’s arm. Before she could react, she was tugged back, and found herself staring up into a pair of deep grey eyes. Her voice was a choked whisper. “Solas…?”

Footsteps drew closer. With a hand on her waist, Solas pressed her against the bookcase, the shelves digging into Brianna’s back. Wreathed in shadows, he lowered his head, eyes glinting in the darkness as they met her wide-eyed stare. 

She was vaguely aware of the couple rounding the corner, but a heartbeat later, Solas’s lips pressed against her own. She gasped into his mouth. Pulling her closer, he deepened the kiss, a low sound rumbling in his chest. With one hand fisted in his jacket, she wrapped the other around the back of his neck. She kissed him like it was the last time she ever would.

The desperation in his eyes set fire to her core. His hands moved across her wildly as he kissed her with an urgency that made her toes curl. When he pulled the mask from her eyes, she swore his fingers shook. His eyes were bright as he stared down at her, his pale cheeks flushed. Brianna traced one shadowed cheekbone with her fingertips, relishing the feel of his heart pounding against her own.

His lips brushed her ear as he whispered, “You are so beautiful.” His mouth covered hers once more. 

With a small sound, Brianna pulled him flush against her. She pressed kisses to his lips, savoring how soft they were, the taste of him…

He smiled down at her. “Was that a sufficient distraction?”

“Where did they…?”

He chuckled and Brianna stared at his mouth. “It seemed the best course of action, considering the circumstances. We avoided detection, did we not?” He regarded her seriously. “I have not forgotten our kiss at the Forbidden Oasis.”

_ Oh. _

“In spite of what you relayed to me concerning the fate of my orb, I have chosen to stay with the Inquisition until I can determine if it can be preserved.” His voice was heavy. “To lose it after everything I have strived to accomplish would be a tragedy beyond comprehension.”

“You can go if you want,” Brianna said, memorizing the feel of his arms around her. “You don’t need to stay…”

... _ for me. _

He lifted her chin to look into her eyes. “In all the countless years I have spent searching for a way to restore what was lost, I have never met anyone who knew what I was and cared for me in that way, regardless. You are unique. You have a strength you may not realize you possess. I deeply admire you, and am honored to call you my friend.”

Brianna swallowed. “So, this is friendship?”

His lips curved, but as he opened his mouth to reply, the bell sounded once more. 

_ Later. Not now.  _ “Someone knows about my eluvian, Solas.”

His brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”

“I heard two people talking. I’m afraid someone might find it and give it to Briala.”

“Have you informed the Inquisitor about this?”

Brianna trailed after him as he walked. “I told someone. Neirah was busy.”

Solas opened the door to the vestibule, motioning for her to go. “I will find another way.”

“Maybe we could talk sometime. After everything.”

Sadness filled his eyes, along with something much, much deeper. Solas gathered her in his arms as he murmured, “Ar lath, ma vhenan.”

Brianna couldn’t feel the floor beneath her. To hear those softly spoken words in her ear, and for her alone… The phrase was so familiar, but this was something else entirely.

He slipped silently into the shadows of the library, vanishing into the darkness. Brianna edged into the hall, pulling the door shut behind her. Securing her mask over her eyes, she focused on drawing air into her stiff lungs. She had so many questions, but was hopelessly lost when it came to answering them.

xxx

Neirah led the companions as they pursued the masked intruder through the darkened hallways of the palace, battling hostile guards and harlequins at every turn. Besides the evidence to blackmail Gaspard and Briala, they needed proof that Celene was unfit to rule in order to validate Gaspard’s rise to power. They had everything they came for, and Brianna could feel her friends’ anticipation.

Faint, unnatural sounds drifted through the open windows on the night air. Brianna rested her hands on her leather pants, imagining crouching behind this crate in her ballgown. A smile tugged at her lips and she glanced across the hall. Solas watched her from behind a pile of boxes, his staff flat against the floor. His eyes crinkled around the edges, but she could still see the underlying sadness in his gaze.

She knew what it was. She didn’t have to wonder. In a short span of time, they had gone from unlikely friends to something more. Whatever this was between them, Brianna wasn’t sure it would end well. Solas had a destiny to fulfill. And her? Being away from her family still gnawed at her. So where did that leave them?

“We need to move,” Neirah hissed. “The royal wing is just ahead. We clear those rooms and then get the hell out of here.”

Brianna kept two steps behind Solas, careful to watch her footing through the moonlit corridor. The party turned a corner, and shouts rang out. Guards and masked men rushed at them from the nearby doorways. She dipped to the side, crouching next to a dusty chair. Covered by Solas’s humming barrier, she did not hear the quick steps behind her until a heavy hand clamped over her mouth. Muscular arms yanked her backwards, and she slid across the tiles, kicking helplessly against her unseen assailant. The clatter of steel drowned out her muffled cries, and Solas’s back was the last thing she saw before she was dragged around a corner and into a darkened room. 

A single candle flickered to life. Brianna’s hands were bound and she struggled against the heavy hand cutting off her air.

“I don’t think you want to do that,” a deep voice behind her warned. Her captor tightened his grip.

A cool blade pressed against her neck and Brianna stilled, eyes wide.

“Scream and you’re dead.” He removed his hand. “We have her. Now what?”

An unidentifiable voice whispered from the back of the room. 

A moment later, another masked soldier stepped into her line of sight. He crossed his arms, his Orlesian accent thick as he said, “Tell us what you know about the eluvian that leads to another world.”

_ Oh no…  _ Brianna gulped as the knife was lowered from her throat. “What makes you think I know anything about that?”

He shook his head. “Don’t bother trying to deceive us, girl. We already know you’re not from Thedas. Tell us where it is.”

He glanced behind her. Brianna started to turn before a hand grabbed her hair, keeping her head facing forward.  _ They don’t have it. Not yet. _ “I don’t know.” She squirmed. “It’s not there anymore. I wanted to go home, but I couldn’t.”

“Couldn’t? All eluvians have a key. How do we unlock yours?”

Her pulse thudded heavily in her ears. When would her friends realize she was gone? Florianne would be attacking Celene soon, and they were running out of time. So was she. “The key is on the other side, so there’s no use trying.”

“Do you realize what’s at stake here?” the man asked. “The existence of other worlds was merely a fantasy until now. Your world could save us from the next Blight.”

Brianna hesitated, hearing the conviction in his voice. “You don’t know what you’re asking,” she said. “I can’t tell you anything.”

“Even when faced with death?”

The air in the room was heavy, and the grip on her neck tightened. She fisted her clammy palms, a bead of sweat trickling down her forehead. “My family’s there. And I won’t put them in danger because of your world’s problems.”

The masked figure glanced behind her again, nodded once. “Then what you know dies with you. We will find and unlock the eluvian, regardless.” He turned his back and said, “Nothing personal, Brianna.”

A gasp escaped her lips as cold steel slid between her ribs. Her side burned, and a gag went over her mouth, muffling her screams. The knife was pulled free, only to be thrust into her back, and she thrashed against the rope that bound her, tears trickling down her cheeks. She fell forward, careful footsteps moving past her. Hot moisture soaked into her tunic, blood pooling on the floor in time with her pulse. The door clicked shut, plunging the room into darkness.

Brianna’s tortured groans echoed in the vacant chamber. She curled in on herself, her cheek pressed against the cold floor as she sobbed into her gag. Her wounds burned, every movement bringing a fresh wave of agony. As her strength ebbed from her with each beat of her heart, death seemed to hover over her, waiting. 

Sluggishly, she dragged herself through her own blood, closer to the door. It was too much. Breathing a sob, she slumped to the floor. The room turned. “Mom… help…” 

The warmth was leaving her, replaced by a chill that froze her limbs. Reaching out, she whimpered as her fingers brushed the door. Solas’s name passed her lips as the frigid darkness swallowed her.


	17. Ripples

**\- Chapter Seventeen -**

**Ripples**

Brianna opened her eyes. Her pain was gone, and she nearly wept with relief. She wobbled to her feet, the ground tipping beneath her like rolling waves. Shadows undulated around her, black tendrils of mist twisting and flickering. She teetered towards the closet door, but when she put her weight against it, she fell through, sprawling onto the floor on the other side. 

With her gag gone, she drew deep breaths, but couldn’t feel the rise and fall of her chest. 

_ Am I dead? _

She flinched. She hadn’t said the words aloud, but her voice rang in the empty hallway. The floor rolled, and she pressed her forehead against the tiles. Instead of the smooth, cool floor, she felt nothing, and it jarred her. Reaching for a nearby chair, her arm passed through like it didn’t exist, and her lips trembled. 

Avoiding all the doors, she leaned against the wall, inching towards the corner where she had been taken. The hallway was deserted. Where were they? As though reacting to her distress, the windows flickered on the walls, the floor rising before snapping back into place. Tears flooded her eyes. “Someone help!” she called. “Please, help me!” 

Head bowed, she cried against the wall. It shuddered beneath her. The thought of being trapped in this terrifying reality for an eternity caused a fresh wave of panic to sweep over her. When she opened her eyes, a soft, blue light shimmered underneath the nearest door. It held against her touch and she tried the handle. Locked _. _

Whatever lay beyond the door, it called to her like a siren song. It smelled of pine, clean laundry, and pizza. Laughter bubbled in her chest as she realized it was the first distinct sensation she had experienced since escaping the room.

She lifted a fist to the door, but stumbled through, just as easily as the first time. Catching herself on a nearby desk, she froze where she stood. Everything inside of her sang, her very essence drawn towards the source of the glow. At the end of the room, leaning against the wall, was her eluvian.

Weeping, she staggered towards it. Light radiated from the silvery surface, shadows recoiling as it glowed with life. She gripped the edges, her heart hammering wildly. Beyond the glass, she could see her room, her empty bed, the open door. 

Moments later, her mom appeared in the doorway. Brianna choked out a sob. “Mom!” When she reached towards the glass, shock rippled through her as her hand slid through, incorporeal on the other side. 

Mom stopped short. “Brianna?” With three brisk steps, she reached the mirror, her hand roving across the surface until their fingers tangled. Tears stained her pale cheeks and she beamed.

“Mom! Can you hear me?”

“Yes, honey, I can.”

“I’m so sorry… I fell through and I couldn’t get back. I tried, I really did.”

“You’re in the Fade.”

Brianna’s brow knotted. “How do you…?” 

“You can’t come through. Not like this.”

“What do you mean?”

“I can hear you, but I can’t see you, honey. You can’t come through like this. What happened?”

“Someone stabbed me. I think I’m dead, Mom. I don’t know who it was, but they know about the eluvian. How do you know about all this?”

“It was at the store, in the back. I tried going through, but then I couldn’t.”

“Was that the accident? Did someone hurt you…?”

“I don’t know. You were home with Cynthia, and I knew I had to get back to you. I brought the mirror home and tried to tell you, but I didn’t know how to say it. I’m sorry, honey. I love you.”

In a flash, her memories replayed before her eyes; gaming for hours, turning off her computer to make lunch, and minutes later, the phone call that changed everything. Horror snaked through her. She tightened her grip on her mother’s hand, her shoulders shaking as fresh tears tracked down her cheeks. Tears she couldn’t feel. “Mom, I’m sorry! It was the game. I turned off the game and it made the eluvian hurt you. I’m so sorry, Mom, I’m sorry… Please, Mom, I want to come home! Please let me come home...”

“It’s okay, honey. You didn’t know.” Mom’s eyes glistened. “I love you more than anything else, and nothing can change that. Cynthia loves you, too. I left the game on, so you could have a chance to come back. I’m glad you’re here, but you can’t go through if you’re dead.”

“Corypheus knows about the eluvian. People want to use it. What do I do?”

She smiled sadly. “You need to break it.”

“No! Can’t I just get into the Fade another way and come back home?” But even as she said the words, she knew the answer. 

“You can’t afford to take that chance. Besides… We both know you belong with him.”

“But what about you?”

“I’m so proud of you, Brianna. Don’t be afraid. You are the only one who can help save him from himself. Help him save himself. He loves you.”

How she knew, Brianna could only guess. “He is everything to me, Mom. I love him, too.” 

“Then tell him.” She released her hand, stepping away from the mirror. “You are my eldest daughter, and will always have a special place in my heart. I love you. Now go to him.”

“I love you, too, Mom. I’ll try. I really will.”

Eyes shining with tears, Mom smiled and moved out of sight. With a quiet hum, the light emanating from the glass faded, shadows flickering to life around it.

Hands shaking, she snatched a candlestick off the desk beside her, knuckles white as she gripped it. “I love you,” she whispered. 

With a cry, she slammed the candlestick against the glass. The smooth surface cracked on impact, tiny fragments dropping to the ground. She struck again and again, the mirror trembling beneath the blows. When it stood shattered and silent before her at last, she turned away, shoulders heaving with broken sobs. Her way home, destroyed. 

For the first time, she could feel the tears on her cheeks.  _ Solas _ . She needed to get to him. She faced the door and paused. Shoulders drooping, she glanced over her shoulder for one last look at the eluvian. But the wall was empty.

Pushing through the door and into the dark hallway, she weaved between covered furniture and stacks of boxes. Florianne’s rift was her best bet if she could find it in time. She easily located the courtyard, the sounds of fighting drifting towards her.

She staggered outside, the ground heaving. She couldn’t see her friends, but their voices drifted around her. The rift flickered steadily in the center. Waiting for the earth to calm its chaotic heaving, she poised to run. Neirah’s voice echoed from the rift and Brianna sprinted forward. Legs pumping, she almost stumbled once, but with a flying leap that was higher than should’ve been possible, she launched herself forward, tumbling to the ground on the other side.

“Watch out!” Cassandra’s voice called. “There is another!”

“Deal with it. I’m sealing this before any more shit comes through.”

Grass tickled Brianna’s face, and she groaned in relief. When she moved to sit up, pain lashed through her side and she cried out.

“Brianna!” Solas’s voice cut through the air, laced with panic.

“Brianna, where have you been? We looked for you everywhere!” The way Neirah said her name brought fresh tears to Brianna’s eyes.

Her friends surrounded her, completely ignoring Gaspard’s Ferelden mercenary still tied up at the edge of the courtyard. 

“Is that  _ her _ blood?” Varric asked.

Brianna was rolled onto her back and she gazed up at her friends, relief and concern on their faces. 

Neirah gripped her shoulder. “What happened? Are you hurt?”

Brianna slid her hand over her side. Unceremoniously, Neirah yanked her tunic up. The wounds were red and angry, but the bleeding had slowed. Swallowing hard, she met Solas’s stare. “I… I died. Someone grabbed me…”

Solas paled. For the first time, Brianna saw real fear in his eyes.

“You were  _ stabbed?! _ ” Neirah’s golden eyes were huge as she inspected the seeping wounds. “Somebody tell me why someone would stab Peewee. Only a monster could do such a thing.”

“I came here through an eluvian. I don’t know how, but someone knew about it. So I had to break it.”

Silence fell over the group.

“The mirror. Your way home?”

“Inquisitor.”

“Cassandra, wait. Brianna, I don’t know what to say.”

She waved Neirah away. “Go. Kick Florianne’s ass for me.”

“But you’re hurt.”

“I will stay with her.” Solas carefully wrapped an arm around her shoulders, helping her stand. “Varric, do you have what you need?”

“Evidence is right here.” He patted a pocket, turning his concerned gaze to Brianna. “We’ll come find you as soon as we can. And no more dying in the meantime.”

Her friends disappeared inside, leaving her alone with Solas. Neither of them moved. Her skin warmed where her hip pressed against his, and she flushed at the contact. Solas shifted, drawing her into a tight embrace. Her side stung, but the pain was nothing compared to the warm thrill that reached her core, scattering her thoughts.

Brow furrowed, he pressed his cheek to hers. “I lost you, and I didn’t know…” His broken murmurs whispered against her skin, halting the beat of her heart. “I should’ve searched harder for you. Insisted we go back…”

“It’s okay, Solas. I’m okay.” She wrapped her arms around him, pressing him flush against her, acutely aware of every place their bodies touched. Loss and relief warred within her. They clamored for a voice, but the words were frozen in her mind, trapped and unspoken.  _ I love you. I love you. I love you… _

xxx

The night after they returned from the Winter Palace, Brianna slept precious little. She tossed and turned, her side burning with every movement. In the morning, she decided to skip out on the scheduled debrief with Vivienne, Josephine, and Neirah. She tugged on her jeans and a t-shirt, tying her hair in a messy bun. When she risked a peek at herself in the small mirror on the dresser, she looked haggard, but more herself than she had felt in a long time. Slipping into a pair of heavy socks and yearning for a steaming mug of coffee, she left her room.

Josephine stood up when she passed the balcony. “We would be pleased to have you join us, Brianna.” Her voice was hopeful.

She paused. If there was someone she didn’t want to crank at, it was Josie.

Vivienne crossed her long legs and tilted her head. “Indeed. We are all quite curious to hear more about your thrilling adventures at the palace. A miracle you survived the ordeal, you poor thing.”

Brianna gave her a deadpan stare. “Fuck you, Vivienne.” She caught one carefully plucked brow lift before she trudged away, hands in her pockets. Behind her, Neirah howled with laughter. Taking the stairway that skirted the rotunda, she sauntered through the main hall and into the fresh air and sunshine. From her perch on the main steps, people milled below her, some glancing her way with looks of awe and curiosity. Apparently, word had gotten around.

“Ohhh, someone’s feeling spicy today!” Neirah jabbed her in the ribs and Brianna doubled over, gasping. “Shit, too soon? Sorry.”

“Yeah, not buying it.”

“C’mon, Peewee. We’re walking.”

“I’m lazy.”

“Well, I’m the Inquisitor, and I say we walk, so move your ass.”

“Fine, fine…” Brianna trailed behind her, watching Neirah’s toned muscles move as she walked, the way she nodded to everyone she passed, the returning smiles. In spite of how things had started, it was clear Neirah belonged here. The people may not have realized they needed her before, but it was clear they had come to love her just like she had. 

“You checking me out back there?”

“I’m proud of you,” Brianna said as they found a quiet, shady spot of grass. “You’re a great Inquisitor.”

Neirah sat cross-legged beside her. “Well, thank you, but we’re not here to talk about me.” Her gaze shifted away. “You going to disappear again?”

Brianna’s forehead creased. “What? I don’t know what you…” She stopped. Neirah still wasn’t looking at her. “No. No, I won’t.”

“Good.” After a long silence, she continued quietly, “Thought you might try to lock yourself in your room again.”

Brianna slouched, picking grass off her socks. “Was it that big of a thing?”

“I was worried about you!” Neirah snapped. “I didn’t know what you were doing in there, or if you would ever come out again. Hell, I wish I could say I was the most worried, but I think Solas had me beat there.” She ran a hand through her hair with a tug. “I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but he said you called for him in your dreams. All the time. He spent every night trying to get to you, but you shut him out. No one could reach you.”

Neirah had been afraid. For her. Guilt heated Brianna’s cheeks.

She shook her head. “When I first met you, I thought you were a joke. But you were a little sunbeam everywhere you went, so shy and quiet. I think people weren’t sure about your knowing the future, but it was clear you just wanted to help. Thedas has seen some shit, but you reminded us that good things still exist in the world. You gave us hope.”

“I didn’t really do anything…”

“You saved my life when Envy was about to kick the crap out of me. And after Haven. And so much more than that. You  _ died, _ and yet you’re still here and wanting to help. I’m the one who should be thanking you and saying I’m proud of you. Because I am.”

Words lodged in her throat. The next thing she knew, she was sobbing into Neirah’s shoulder. “I can’t go home,” she wept. “And my mom, I… I can’t. I can’t…” 

Neirah held her, stroking her hair like a child.

Brianna wiped her nose with the back of her sleeve. “I don’t know what to do with it.”

Taking her by the shoulders, Neirah held her at arm’s length. “I know we’re not your birth family,” she said, “but you will always have a place here. As long as you want. You’re special to all of us, and I wouldn’t want anyone else at my back.”

“Even if I still can’t fight?”

“I never said you’d last long in those circumstances,” she said, sitting back with a grin, “but you would be there. And that means more to me than anything else.”

“She’s not useless,” a quiet voice said. “Bright smile and warm heart, she helps. She always has.”

“Cole, really? Now? We’re having a conversation here.” Neirah gave him a sidelong glare.

Blushing, Brianna smiled. “You know, I think I’m starting to believe that.”

“She needs you. He does, too.”

Neirah waggled her eyebrows at Brianna, earning herself a long-suffering look. 

Brianna sighed. “I care about him, too,” she said quietly. “But I thought you said he didn’t love me. You know… Like I love him?”

“Yours is simple, selfless, sweet like sunshine. His is desperate, drowning, dreading. There is no one like her. She makes the burden bearable. A calm in the calamity I caused. Together… maybe we could be. Maybe there’s another way, another end.”

“But how? How can we be together? Cole, I’m terrified. Of everything. Like, never seeing my family again, dying again… I don’t know if I would be so lucky a second time.”

“Just because you’re afraid doesn’t mean you’re not brave,” Neirah said. “You’re brave  _ because  _ you’re scared and are still here, regardless. We’ve been living with Blights and demons and fuckall for ages, but this is new to you. The fact that you’re still here in spite of everything you’ve seen and experienced gives me hope.” She winked. “Sounds like that hope is contagious.”


	18. Indomitable

**\- Chapter Eighteen -**

**Indomitable**

  
  


“Thanks for putting up with me.” Brianna dipped her brush into the bowl of paint, tilting her head to admire Solas’s work. Here in the Fade, the rotunda walls were covered with swirling designs and half-completed ideas, her amateur patterns starkly simple beside them. 

“It would be unwise to alienate the only individual who understands who I am as fully as you do.” 

“I’d never tell your secret and you know it.”

He painted next to her, his arm moving steadily. “And I am grateful.”

Brianna felt the unspoken questions between them; the stilted conversation, tangled with everything that had been left unsaid. 

“What is being done to discover who assaulted you at the Winter Palace?” His gaze flickered to her side. 

“Leliana’s working on it.” The blade had gone deep, and the healers told her she would be dealing with the discomfort for a long time. Being in the Fade was the only time she was completely free from pain. It also didn’t hurt that Solas was a pleasant distraction.

“Indeed?”

Brianna scowled at the wall. “You didn’t hear that.” Her brush strokes traced the lines Solas had marked with charcoal. “It’s probably a good thing I didn’t go to the Arbor Wilds with Neirah. It still hurts when I do anything besides hobble. I wouldn’t be able to defend myself. Not like I did a great job of that at the Winter Palace.”

His lips formed a thin line, and he lowered his brush. “I’m sure the Inquisitor understands.”

“I know she wanted me there even though I don’t tell her about the future anymore.” She made a wry face at her bowl of paint. “Ever since I stopped trying to change things, it’s been more like how I expected it to be. I think I was just making things worse.”

“Success is the result of struggle,” Solas said. “The Inquisition must earn its position in the world, even if the cost is greater than we would have hoped. You wish to help, but some things must be overcome by people in order to prepare them for a great future.”

“I guess I just thought that since I knew what was going to happen, I could make a difference. At home, I spent every day taking care of my family, and the whole time, Mom was trying to reach me.” She placed her brush in the paint bowl, wiping her hand on her breeches. “I finally had the chance to go home. I could’ve. But someone knew about it. As long as the eluvian existed on this side, there was a chance they would find it.” She peeked up at him. “My mom said I should stay to help you. Somehow, she knew.”

His brush strokes slackened as he looked at her carefully. “You would not have stayed of your own volition?”

“No, I would’ve. I think… Maybe?” She caught the look on Solas’s face and gave him a gentle shove. “C’mon, don’t do that to me! Of course I didn’t want to break it. But if I had the choice… the choice to stay… I would’ve.”

“The fact that you would make that decision surprises me.”

“Does it? I always knew I wanted to stay and help you. After everything that happens with Corypheus and your orb, you get really sad, and I always wished it was different for you. How exactly, I don’t know, but different.”

Solas lowered his hand. “As do I.”

“Then why don’t you do something about it? Maybe we can’t do much about your orb, but there’s gotta be a solution besides tearing down the Veil. I’m sure we could figure it out.”

He looked at her, an immense sadness in his eyes. “You truly believe that, don’t you?”

“Wait, you’re not arguing with me this time?” she teased, hoping to dispel some of the lines across his brow.

“When I awoke from  _ uthenera _ , the world had changed. Those with whom I attempted to share a little of their past rejected it. Some laughed, a few reviled me outright.” He paused at her look. “Your concern is appreciated. It was unfortunate, but understandable for those who had known nothing else. But that time soured my view of humanity and what it had become. I believed that returning the world to how it had been was the only reasonable course of action; that there was no suitable alternative.”

Brianna stared at him. “If that’s what you believed, then why do you look like you’re… changing your mind?”

His smile broke her heart. “You appeared in my life unexpectedly, resulting in a friendship I could not have foreseen. I was not intending to make any attachments, but there you were, regardless of my skepticism. Unlike myself, you seemed to have no reservations about our deepening relationship. As we spent increasing amounts of time together, I was keenly aware of the nature of my plans for the future, as well as my own cynicism and doubt. But you changed everything. The more I saw you, the more I allowed myself to believe that there could be some good in the new reality I had unwittingly created. The tragedy is that it took a bright spirit like you, from another place entirely, to make me see the kindness that still exists here.”

If only everyone else could see him as she did, right now, a world of wonder in his eyes. “I’m here for you, Solas, I really am. And I will never turn away. I know it’s selfish, but I want you to stay. I do. I don’t want you to be alone, and I think I could be that person if you-”

A heartbeat later, he was there; his lips on hers, his hands in her hair. Solas pressed closer, knocking over her bowl of paint as they sank to the floor together. Pinning her against the wall, he kissed her lips, her cheek, her neck. The wet paint soaked into her clothes. Every time their lips met, a tingle ran from her fingers to her toes. With a small sound of relief, she planted her feet on the floor and all but pulled him into her lap. Her hands moved across his back and shoulders, and she kissed him with all the pent-up longing in her heart. Whatever the future held for them, this sad, intelligent, beautiful man made everything worth it. What mattered was that he was here. For now, it was enough.

His lips curved against her kisses, and she knew he was hearing her thoughts again.  _ Yes, you’re beautiful. Your freckles are precious. And you always have smart things to say. I love to be with you, wherever you are. _ He growled low in his chest and gathered her in his arms, going still as he buried his face against her neck. Something in the way his chest moved caught her attention. But when she moved to look at him, he held her head against his shoulder with his hand.

“For now,” he murmured, “it is more than enough.”

Brianna felt moisture where his cheek pressed against the curve of her neck. She held him closer, running a hand down his back in soothing patterns. Words fell short. The love she felt for him threatened to drown her every time he stared into her eyes or held her in his arms. With a sweet smile, she cupped his face in her hands, pressing a kiss to his lips. Her heart thrummed as she brushed his tears away with a gentle caress. “Wait for me,” Brianna whispered. “I’ll be back.”

When her eyes opened, she hugged herself before hopping out of bed. The hem of her tunic brushed her thighs as she peeked outside, millions of stars shimmering above her. Padding through the dimly lit corridors in her sock feet, she pressed against the door to Solas’s room, her pulse pounding in her ears. The wood was cold and rough against her hands, and she paused on the threshold. But only briefly.

With her tongue against her upper lip, she tried the handle and the door swung inward. Rubbing her sweaty palms on her shirt, she eased the door shut behind her. Silently, she moved to the bedside, her gaze roving across Solas’s sleeping form. He lay sprawled on his side, legs tangled in the sheets, his bare chest flushed. His eyes moved behind his lids in sleep. 

Brianna released a slow breath. She had never done anything so daring in her whole life. Even saving Neirah at Therinfal hadn’t given her the rush that now made her head spin. Grinning helplessly, she eased onto the bed next to him, smoothing away the wrinkles on his forehead with her fingertips. She traced the bridge of his nose, kissing the tip playfully as he stirred beside her. Solas blinked slowly, the furrow between his brows deepening as he stared back at her. 

Gods, but he was beautiful. Her grin widened. “Hi there, Freckles.”

He lay motionless beside her for several long moments before reaching towards her. His breath caught as his long fingers brushed her face. “Why are you here?”

They were so close, she could feel his breath on her cheeks. He shifted to watch her as she propped herself on one elbow, resting against him. Bringing her lips close to his ear, she murmured, “I love you and I want you. Let me stay with you, Solas. I see everything that you are, and the longer I know you, the more reasons I find to admire you.” She glanced away, running her fingers tentatively down his arm. “I’m not sure why you noticed me, though. I’m not… like you.”

The muscles in his arm flinched beneath her touch. “That is the very reason I came to admire you as well. That someone so unlike myself would attempt to understand my past and accept it, regardless, was one of the greatest surprises I have known.”

Brianna grinned. “Sweet-talker.”

Grabbing her wrist, Solas yanked her off him. She landed on her back beneath him, heart pounding as she watched him breathlessly, propped on his elbows and looking very kissable.

“You do realize you’ve looked at me like that ever since we were first acquainted?”

“I did not!” She gave his shoulder a gentle push. 

Faster than she could blink, he seized her hand, trapping it in his. Turning the palm upward, he placed a chaste kiss against her wrist, his eyes never leaving hers. “Yes,” he said against her skin, “you did.”

Brianna squirmed before loosing a gusty sigh. Wrenching her hand free, she flung her arms around his neck, dragging him down on top of her as she kissed him fiercely. He groaned against her mouth, and her toes curled. 

Solas returned her kisses passionately, brushing a strand of hair from her face as his legs tangled with hers. He tucked the hair behind her round ear, his finger tracing it slowly. Brianna blushed and looked away. He lifted her chin with the gentlest touch, his lips inches from hers. “Someone with your indomitable strength is worthy of love and devotion. I intend to demonstrate my admiration so completely that you will never have cause for doubt. You are the most stunning woman I have ever met, Brianna. Radiant, and breathtakingly beautiful.” He pressed his forehead to hers and murmured, “Stay with me.”

Not trusting her voice, Brianna tightened her grip around him and nodded vigorously. Her love for him only deepened.

Leaning on one elbow and resting his other hand against her thigh, his lips brushed against hers. His palm was warm and firm against her skin as it moved past the hem of her tunic in a slow caress. “Brianna.”

“Yes?” she whispered, cheeks pink.

“ _ Ar lath, ma vhenan _ .”

She beamed at him, tugging him against her. She couldn’t get close enough, and her heart ached with all the love it held for him. “I love you, too,” she whispered, smiling into his eyes. “But you already knew that.”

His answering smile was breathtaking. “Yes, I did.”

Giggling, Brianna pulled him down for another kiss.

xxx

Brianna lay draped over a chair in the war room, a sack of warmed grain pressed against her side. She kicked her sock feet, listening to Neirah discuss her journey to the Arbor Wilds with the advisors. 

“Corypheus isn’t done. He used the Blight to take someone’s body and he exploded out of it. I’ve seen some shit, but that was the worst. As if his corrupted dragon wasn’t bad enough. If I had killed him back at Haven, we could’ve figured this out a whole lot sooner.”

“We were overrun,” Cullen reassured her. “You had your hands full.”

“Yeah, hands full worrying about  _ that _ one over there.” She speared Brianna with a look. “Still haven’t forgiven you for disappearing like that.”

“Are you seriously going to torture the wounded person?” 

“Pardon me, your  _ Majesty _ . At least you made it back to us. That’s what matters.” She scratched between her horns. “It’s odd that Vivienne never told me that she went to look for you. A lot happened afterwards, with us finding Skyhold and everything.” She shrugged. “Corypheus was a pain to fight back then, but he’s going to piss his breeches when he sees Mythal’s dragon.”

“How does it feel to have centuries of knowledge in your head?” Brianna teased.

“Horrible. Thanks for asking.”

“Yep.” Neirah shoved her shoulder, and Brianna grimaced, clutching the sack against her side.

“Oh, I’m sorry. A little sensitive, are we?” Neirah smiled innocently while Brianna glared at her.

“If Corypheus cannot be killed,” Leliana said, “there must be some other way to stop him.”

“We kill his dragon. At least that’s what the weird voices say.” Neirah turned to Brianna. “And you’re coming with me.”

Brianna shook her head. “It’ll work out, I promise. I really wish I could be there when you beat him, but you’re gonna be amazing.”

“But I want you there when I finally face him!” Neirah insisted.

“I know, and I love you for it. But I can’t. It still hurts. I would only put you in danger. I’ll find you afterwards, but you’re the one who’s supposed to save the world.”

Brianna watched Neirah as the discussion continued. For the first time, she allowed herself to believe she had had a part in all of this. Regardless of what came after for Brianna, Neirah would carry on the work of the Inquisition. The heaviness in her heart felt a lot like homesickness, but not for her world.

xxx

The main hall was eerily silent, the sun’s last rays slanting through the tall windows behind the Inquisitor’s throne. Brianna circled the qunari bench, staring at the place in the sky where the next Breach was to open. Tinged with gold, the heavens remained silent.

She rested her hand on the window’s textured surface, the glass cool against her fingertips. The imminent unknown caressed the fringes of her mind with curved claws. Brianna shivered. 

“Are you waiting for something, my dear?” Vivienne appeared beside her, following her gaze. When Brianna didn’t reply, she said, “Your choice to keep the knowledge of the Inquisition’s future to yourself was a noble one, however difficult it might have been to make that decision.”

“I learned that lesson the hard way. And you’re paying for it.”

“Not everyone can be saved.”

“You will never know how sorry I am about Barris.” Brianna crossed her arms, staring out at the Frostbacks, gilded in twilight’s glow. “My power never helped anyone.”

Vivienne faced her, and Brianna noticed the dark patches beneath her eyes. She looked…  _ old. _ “You may not have used your ability to change the line of succession in Orlais, or appoint the next Divine, but you saved the Inquisitor’s life. Unless I’m mistaken, that was accomplished solely by the strength of your own will. In your own way, you have touched the lives of those around you. That is what makes a person truly great. It is not your destiny to defeat Corypheus with your power. But if everyone was destined to rule the world, who would remain to guide them? If not for those we lean upon, we would be utterly lost.”

Brianna’s chest caved. “I wanted to leave because of the things you said to me. What do you want, Vivienne?”

Her head turned toward the window, the fading sunlight illuminating her dark skin. “You were a risk to the Inquisition, but your arrival provided a valuable opportunity. A safe world, one free from Blights, that offers long life and peace for those who live in it.”

The truth hit Brianna harder than she anticipated. “Bastien.”

Vivienne stiffened. “It is too late now, even if your eluvian was still intact.”

Brianna blinked.

“The Inquisitor informed me.” Her gaze shifted. “Your world is safer without Thedas reaching in. Such things have unintended consequences, as you well know.”

“I can’t go back.”

“I am aware of the situation. You will not be accompanying the Inquisitor to the Temple of Sacred Ashes either.”

As the sun slipped behind the mountains, Brianna said quietly, “No. But I hope I can still make a difference in someone’s life.”

“The impulse to pour oneself into improving the life of another can do terrible things to a person, however pure our intentions may be. I would not see it change you as it changed me.”

“I thought you didn’t like me.”

Vivienne’s lips curved. “No matter what we may tell ourselves, we are all just people, futilely grasping at shreds of happiness. What you are capable of, it may not have shaken Thedas to its core, but you are no longer the woman you were before. It remade you, and by some unprecedented series of events, gained you the Inquisitor’s favor. In the span of weeks, you had nearly achieved what had taken me decades to accomplish. Remarkable doesn’t even begin to describe it.” She turned to go.

“I never meant to hurt you, or for things to be difficult between us.”

“That was never the issue, my dear,” Vivienne replied over her shoulder. “You simply had everything that I desired and could never hope to attain. You of all people should understand. Wouldn’t you do anything for the ones you love?” 

xxx

“I will return momentarily.” Solas stood from his desk, rifling through several stacks of papers. “I seem to have misplaced my notes on Brother Genitivi’s manuscripts.”

Brianna peeked out from behind a wrinkled parchment, sprawled comfortably on Solas’s couch, feet propped on the armrest. “Last I saw, Neirah was looking at them. Hey, come back!”

Backtracking from the door, Solas crouched beside her, his attention on the parchment. “Did you find something interesting?

“I sure did.” With a playful smirk, she grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him towards her. 

“Don’t assume I was unaware of your intentions,” he said, poised inches away. He arched a brow.

Brianna squirmed as his measured breaths brushed her cheek. “You’ve always been aware of my… intentions. I don’t think I’ve ever been really good at hiding them.”

“Indeed.” With a rare smile that reached his eyes, he lowered his mouth to hers, his lips moving slowly as he kissed her. “I am glad you did not.”

A sigh of relief escaped her and she locked her arms around his neck, trapping him against her. “Me, too. Now, go find those notes.” She studied his back appreciatively as he moved across the room, his bare feet padding on the tiled floor. “Come back soon, you.”

“That is entirely my intention _. _ ” 

_ Clever man. _ When he was gone, her smile faltered as the absence settled in her chest. But she pushed it away, returning her attention to the parchment.

She had almost reached the bottom of the page when a breeze whistled through the rotunda, scattering the papers on the desk. The parchments fluttered wildly, sucked from the room by a gust of wind that whipped strands of hair across her face. She stood, and the hairs on her arms lifted as a sharp scent like copper and smoke filled her nostrils.

A heartbeat later, a sound like torn thunder crackled above her. 

Beyond the rotunda. Beyond the walls and towers of Skyhold. 

A sound she knew well. 

Her mouth went dry as the floor quivered beneath her. Arcing cracks split the walls, cleaving the murals, chunks of painted plaster clattering around her. The floor heaved and she pitched forward, eyes locked on a crack that severed the head of one of the mural’s wolves. 

Screams filled the main hall. Brianna inched towards the door, but a fresh wave of convulsions shook the rotunda. With a wild rush of wind, the upper half was ripped away, showering her with debris. Brianna flung her arms over her head, crying out as a wooden plank struck her side. The floor lifted beneath her and she stared upward. Dark, swirling clouds pulsed with lightning, obscuring the sun. The rotunda’s hollow remains rose to meet the open sky, groaning as the foundation was wrenched from the mountainside.

Brianna dragged herself to the crumbling doorway, gaping as massive portions of Skyhold rose with the rotunda, hovering between the Breach and the devastation below. On the snow-covered slopes beyond the cracked and ruined walls, a massive army descended upon the Inquisition forces. As fighting erupted between the opposing armies, an ear-piercing screech echoed through the mountains. A dragon descended from the roiling clouds, massive wings beating the air. The beast swung over Skyhold, roaring as it circled the floating ruins. 

He was here. 

He had found them.


	19. Soul Storm

**\- Chapter Nineteen -**

**Soul Storm**

  
  


With a hiss of crimson magic, Corypheus stepped from beneath the dragon’s wing onto the wall above Skyhold’s gate. Straight-backed and silent, he stared out over the panic in the courtyard. Some stopped to stare as the dragon took to the air, but most were not soldiers, and they fled. 

Palms against the cold tile, Brianna stared down at him. The orb hovered above his left hand, spitting energy that matched the glowing lyrium that protruded from his twisted form. His head swiveled, hard, pale eyes fixed on her. Effortlessly, Corypheus rose into the air, his unblinking stare freezing her in place.  _ Please, Solas… Stay away. Stay safe. _

“We have no quarrel, you and I.” His voice rumbled in the space between them. “But your existence is of great interest to me, outlander.”

Brianna’s gaze flicked to the orb before returning to his disfigured face. She moistened her dry lips. “What do you want?”

“I have toiled countless years and crossed the ages to reach the Golden City and claim it. All that greeted me was desolation. A husk. The so-called gods these people venerate… Their very existence is a lie. Imagine my astonishment when word reached me of a power that rivaled the ability to reach the fabled seat of power. One that would open the way to a world no one knew existed.” His lip lifted in a sneer. “You seem surprised. Did you not think I would take an interest? The Well of Sorrows pales in comparison with an entire universe of power and potential. Your deepest fears were revealed in the Realm of the Nightmare, and whispers from your own Inquisition only confirmed the existence of your world.” He drifted closer, his long fingers reaching for her. “The eluvian, outlander. You  _ will _ give it to me.”

Brianna clutched her side as she sat up. “You don’t even care about the Inquisitor anymore, do you? I thought you were here to kill her.”

“The anchor was never meant to be wielded by someone so weak and unable to comprehend the forces that are moving in this world. Ending her existence is unnecessary when the process has already begun. The anchor will bring her immeasurable pain, but her twisted sense of duty will drive her beyond reason until she is a shadow of who she once was. In time, it will claim her life. A fitting end for a fool who could never appreciate the weight of the power she bore.”

Brianna hauled herself to her feet, scowling. “You were supposed to die. Don’t you know how annoying that is?”

“You see the power I wield now. Imagine what I could achieve with the untapped wells of your world.” 

Corypheus lifted the orb, and the floating ruins of Skyhold shifted, drawing together. Brianna braced herself in the doorway, staggering as a section of the main hall collided with the rotunda, stone grinding against stone. “My world doesn’t have magic, so there’s no point. You won’t get anything out of it, so why don’t you just leave us alone?”

Drifting downward, he spread his arms, as if inviting her to cross the distance between them. “You are mistaken, outlander. Why else would an elven eluvian exist in your world? The power I seek is unbounded. By its very nature, it cannot be contained or limited, even to a single realm. I will enjoy claiming its unspoiled potential.”

“You can’t.” Brianna matched his cold stare, limping towards him as she nursed her side. “I destroyed it. Good luck getting to my world now, asshole.”

“Do you really believe that shattered glass will prevent me from taking it?” His eyes flashed and he turned his head. “There will be no saving her, Herald. This is beyond you.” 

“No one is beyond saving,” Neirah’s voice called. “Except you. You’ve threatened the people I love. You’re dead.” She vaulted across a gap in the rubble, landing beside Brianna. She unsheathed her greatsword, pointing it at Corypheus. “Tell me we can end this fucking maniac.”

“Watching you suffer would have given me great satisfaction,” Corypheus said, “but it would seem you are determined to interfere. No more. I know what you are. Only one of us can remain.”

With a vicious screech, Corypheus’s dragon swooped down, it’s gaping maw aimed for Neirah. But before it could reach them, Mythal’s emerald dragon rammed into its side, both careening over the edge.

“Well, that was exciting.” Neirah winked at Brianna. “I guess giving your soul to an elven god has its perks.”

“Shit, Glowbug! You weren’t about to face that dragon one-on-one, were you?”

Brianna turned to see Cassandra and Varric jogging towards them, Solas three steps behind, his stare locked with the orb.

“I considered it. I knew you were right behind me.”

Cassandra’s brow lowered. “Corypheus.”

Neirah shifted her hands on the hilt of her greatsword. “He has the orb.” 

Solas’s eyes found hers. Something loosed in Brianna’s chest, and for several moments, she allowed herself to drown in his eyes.  _ I love you. Please don’t go. Please hear everything I can’t say. Please love me. Please stay. _

Solas’s gaze softened as his eyes reflected something back. Something she couldn’t name. 

Fists tightening, Brianna turned dark eyes to Corypheus. “Kick his ass, Inquisitor.”

xxx

The dragons grappled in the air, the ground heaving every time they struck. Brianna clung to a boulder as the shaking subsided. In front of her, Neirah and Cassandra lashed at Corypheus, sweat pouring down their faces. Varric fired a volley of shots, jumping aside as red energy streaked towards him. Solas stood behind them, ice hissing from his staff in glistening arcs. 

_ Solas. _ Helplessness gnawed at her, but she steeled herself against it. This wasn’t the end. Not yet.

A guttural roar filled the air. Mythal’s dragon had the other by the neck, blood spraying from the wound and pouring down on them. Corypheus’s dragon screamed, scaled hide tinged green by the glowing clouds. Its wings spasmed briefly, fluttering and snapping like twin sails, then went limp. 

Catching the dragon’s rapid descent, Neirah yelled, “Hang on!”

The massive dragon crashed through the rubble, blood gushing from its neck as it plummeted to the ground below. Pain twisted through Brianna’s gut as she clutched the boulder, teeth rattling from the impact. Blinking past the grit in her eyes, her panicked breaths slowed when she found her companions unhurt. Thick blood and foul fluids dampened her hair and clothes, the stench flooding her nostrils. She crumpled, retching as she emptied her stomach on the rocks beneath her scraped palms. 

Crackling red energy surged upward from where the dragon had fallen, colliding with Corypheus. His body rocked, each swing of his limbs more desperate than the last. The pale of his eyes was replaced with an unholy glow, his voice cracking as he cried out. 

“He’s weakening! Brianna!” 

Pain seared through her side as she sprinted towards Neirah. Images of Barris and the Envy demon assaulted her and she choked on bile. 

“The anchor,” Neirah panted. “It’s pulling. Can’t stop it.” Fear shone in her eyes. “Help me, Brianna.”

With one hand on Neirah’s shoulder, Brianna wrapped her other hand around her wrist, the mark’s glow leaking through her fingers. “I’m here. You’ve got this.”

Neirah’s golden eyes shone with a steely glint.

“Dumat!” Corypheus cried. “Ancient Ones! I beseech you…”

The orb sputtered, wreathed in sparks as Neirah reached towards it.

Corypheus lifted the orb aloft as crimson energy arced around him. “If you exist… if you ever truly existed… aid me now!” With a sickening crack, the orb exploded through his jaw, drawn to the brightly pulsing anchor. Corypheus dropped to his knees, jaw slack, his hand flailing towards Neirah. 

Brianna tightened her grip as Neirah’s wrist shook with the force of the orb. It hummed with pure, green light, suspended above Neirah’s palm. 

“Now there’s no chance in the void you’re getting to her world.” Death simmered in her voice. With Brianna’s hand still firmly attached to her own, Neirah snapped her wrist towards him. “This one told me to kick your ass. So I’m going to. Straight into the fucking Fade.”

Corypheus screamed as emerald light swallowed the red of his eyes, radiating from all the places where crystal met flesh. The light intensified until it burst from him, showering them with flesh, bone, and crystallized lyrium. The rest was sucked into a flash of energy that vanished with a loud snap. His tortured cries died with it.

A familiar voice cut through the chaos in her mind. “Close the Breach! Seal it!”

Simultaneously, Neirah and Brianna turned to see Solas standing several yards away, knuckles white on his staff, his tunic stained with blood not his own. But it wasn’t the Inquisitor that held his attention. Brianna’s racing heart tumbled as his piercing gaze collided with hers. She saw the emotions warring within him. The conflict, the anguish, the determination. With everything that hung unspoken between them, she nodded once and squeezed Neirah’s hand. “Let’s do this.” Whether she spoke to her friend or to herself, she didn’t know.

Neirah grinned, wiping a strand of damp, white hair from her face. “I knew you’d find a way to be here with me. You always do.”

Brianna shook her head, beaming up at her. “Looks like we made it to the end together after all. You ready?”

“Ready.”

Brianna took a steadying breath, Neirah’s wrist still quivering in her grasp. Together, they lifted their joined hands, and the orb flared as a beam shot into the sky. Several strands of white energy snaked from Brianna’s hand, weaving around it and connecting the orb with the Breach. Waves of charged clouds fanned outward as the center pulsed like a heartbeat. 

Brianna stared, waiting. For the final flash of light. For the sky to close. For whatever came after. She felt no pain. Only an ethereal weightlessness. The light at the center brightened, drawing her in, at once familiar and strange. It grew until it threatened to swallow her soul, overwhelming all thought and feeling. If only she could become engulfed in the vastness of it. It would feel so right to let it take her. It felt so much like… 

“Brianna!  _ Brianna! _ ”

Wind whistled in her ears. Neirah stared back at her wide-eyed. She was falling, stone and rubble no longer beneath her feet. She still clung to Neirah’s hand with a death grip. Everything spun as they plunged downward. Stone shattered far below, and the ruins of Skyhold rushed to meet them. Too fast. Too soon.

She yanked Neirah towards her, their bodies colliding in their wild tumble to the earth. Nails digging into Neirah’s hand, she pressed all her willpower through the mark, still glittering with life. Her ears popped, and the wind died. They bounced once on a cushion of air before toppling to the ground in a pile of bruised and tangled limbs. 

Brianna screamed as a wave of pain swallowed her. She rolled onto her back, shuddering breaths blowing from her lips. The Breach widened above her, devouring the sky as the edges of the Veil peeled away. The storm howled, a maelstrom of cloud and wind, and a gaping entrance to an indistinct beyond. From the other side, a low rumble echoed distantly. 

“Brianna!” Neirah wrenched her hand away. “What did you do?!”

Lightning crackled across the sky, and when her body jolted, she wondered vaguely if she had been struck. “I didn’t mean to,” she mumbled, her eyes falling shut. “I didn’t mean to…”

She closed her eyes to the horror unfolding in the clouds, steeling against the buzzing in her right arm. It spasmed and jerked, her skin scraping against tile.

_ Tile…? _ Grunting, she rolled onto her stomach, pinning her arm down with her other hand. Shadows flickered across the rotunda’s broken murals. Twining from her palm to her shoulder were the same coils of energy that had linked the orb to the Breach. She turned her wrist and the strands moved with her, surging just above her skin like glowing ropes. She looked up and her heart stopped. Hovering above her, unbroken and tethered to her palm, was the orb.

“Vhenan.”

_ Solas… _ With effort, Brianna sat up and faced him, still gripping her arm. She grit her teeth against the throbbing in her side. White and green light flashed around her as the orb shuddered with barely-contained power.

Solas stood poised in the ruined doorway, arms crossed behind him, his silhouette highlighted by the emerald glow of the sky. He moved closer, and fear squeezed her heart.  _ He’s going to take it. He’s going to take it. _

But when he knelt before her, there was something else entirely in his gaze. “The growth of the Breach is halted for now.” He laid a hand on her shoulder. “I am here, vhenan.”

Brianna’s cheeks shone with moisture. There was no cold calculation on his features. Only a deep, tender concern. She reached for him with a broken sob. Solas gathered her into his arms, pressing his lips against her hair. Brianna held her arm away from him, the orb blurred by the tears in her eyes. “How…? I made it  _ worse _ .”

Cradling her close, Solas trailed a hand across the strands that encircled her arm, brow furrowed.

“Where’s Neirah? When we used the orb together…”

“Brianna…”

“I need to find-” The words died on her lips as the orb jerked violently. Brianna screamed. Energy lashed from the orb like lightning, illuminating their faces. Brianna clenched her jaw shut as spasms racked her arm. She expected Solas to make some comment about running out of time, or get that look when he discovered the answer to a problem. But as he stared at her arm, it was clear that he was as much in the dark as she was. Real fear shone in the depths of his eyes.

The orb shook, straining against the tethers, and Brianna convulsed in Solas’s arms. Stars danced across her vision and she gasped against his shoulder. Just when the pain became unbearable, the distant rumbling in the air began to grow. It grew until the ground shook. The walls trembled. Stone and wooden planks collapsed around them. Brianna stared into the storm that stretched to the horizon and the breath froze in her lungs. Out of the Breach, from the beyond, emerged twin dragon heads wreathed in green fire. They pushed through, the tear rippling around them as they descended, larger and more fearsome than any dragon Brianna had ever seen. 

Solas moved against her. In a voice she had never heard him use before, he muttered, “Naturally, it would be now.”

Brianna pressed her fingers to his cheek. Felt dampness there.

Above them, one of the dragons roared, rattling the bones of the world.

He loosed a sigh that stirred her hair. His eyes were grim. “It is time, vhenan.”

_ Stay with me, Solas. Please. Please stay.  _ She grimaced as he helped her to her feet. 

Solas turned his face to the Breach. The dragons slipped from the shimmering tear, great wings beating as they lowered themselves to the snow-dusted outcropping at the end of the long, stone bridge. One scratched at the boulders beneath its claws, while the other turned its head, staring them down from the other side of the chasm. A sound rumbled from its throat, low and menacing.

Brianna blinked. He was already walking. “Solas, wait!” She limped after him, grabbing his arm. The orb sparked and she hissed. “They’re… like you, aren’t they?”

His silence was answer enough.

“If you go to them… They’ve been trapped this whole time. They won’t let you go.”

“Your loyalty is appreciated. The same cannot be said for many who once pledged themselves to me.”

“Loyalty…? How about  _ love _ ? I’m not letting them touch you.”

“You cannot match them. Their fury and resentment have been growing for centuries. No amount of power can stand against it.”

_ I did this. _ She curled her fingers into a fist as the energy throbbed against her skin. One of the dragons flared its leathery wings and she glared back, scowling past the grit in her eyes. Solas’s hand rested against her cheek, and she covered his fingers with her own.

“Do you trust me, vhenan?”

“If you keep calling me that, I’m gonna have a moment.”

“They will not hesitate to take the orb from you. By any means. Your death would mean nothing to them.”

The reality Solas had always strived for was close enough to touch. The very thing she had tried to convince him against, she had done herself. Guilt stabbed through her heart. “Take it,” she said bitterly. “I’ve done enough.”

Twining his hand with hers, he tipped her chin to meet his determined gaze. “You could not have known, so the fault does not lie with you.” The hard lines around his eyes softened as his fingers caressed her face. “I will make it right.”

With his back to the dragons, he pulled her arm closer. His eyes drifted closed briefly, the orb crackling at the proximity. Brianna’s lips parted, icy wisps of magic lifting from his hand to weave with her own. When his eyes opened once more, they flashed with a cold, blue light that faded instantly. Green energy sprung from his palm as he released her hand. Brianna gasped as the white cords retracted beneath her skin, leaving only a faint buzzing sensation in her wrist.

Solas stepped back. The orb moved with him, suspended in the air above his hand. It shone steadily above him, reunited with its rightful owner at last. 

Their eyes met and Brianna drank in the sight of him. He was so beautiful. Her heart cracked behind her ribs as she took his arm, allowing him to escort her towards the bridge. Towards the waiting Evanuris.


	20. Enough to Hope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for going on this amazing journey with me, you guys. I've enjoyed every minute of it. Your support and encouragement are priceless and I'm so glad I could share this project with you! <3
> 
> Edit: There's a secret in the first letter of each chapter title. ;*

**\- Chapter Twenty -**

**Enough to Hope**

  
  


They walked together, paces matched. Brianna looked up at him, her heart swelling at the unwavering resolve in his stride. The lightning that curved between the clouds highlighted the angles of his face, the orb’s glow reflected in his solemn eyes. As they stepped onto the bridge, Solas extended his glowing hand. The energy that radiated from his palm snaked up his arm, enveloping his torso. Flowing robes replaced his tunic and trousers. The mantle fastened to his shoulders billowed behind him, snapping in the wind. Head high, he fixed his gaze on the dragons, eyes blazing with a glow that matched the sky. 

The bridge trembled. At the other end, the dragons lowered their heads, hides quivering with rumbles of warning. Brianna almost lost her footing when a mournful howl echoed through the mountains. A giant wolf rose from the depths of the chasm, black as a starless night. Larger than the dragons, it prowled next to the bridge at Solas’s side, tendrils of smoke curling from its flanks. Brianna’s heart lurched when it turned its massive head to fix six red eyes on her. 

Solas’s lips curved, the timbre of his voice settling in her stomach as he said, “He protects what I care about most.”

She lifted her head to stare at him. Somehow, she was here. On the arm of a man that held the fate of the world in his hand. As they moved together, closer to an unknown fate, she knew that whatever happened, she would face it with him.

“ _ Fen’harel _ .” 

The larger of the dragons sank its claws into the stone, eyes burning as it moved towards them. The wolf bared its teeth.

“So… you have found me at last.”

“You were foolish to believe locking us in the Fade would forestall your doom, Betrayer. The debt for Mythal’s life will be paid.”

“Name your price,” Solas said. “The Inquisition has no part in this.”

“We have no quarrel with the mortals. They matter not.” The dragon turned its head to the distant slopes. “By the time the Inquisitor and her people awaken, a new age will have begun. They will accept their new world or be annihilated.”

A muscle feathered in Solas’s jaw.

With a low, scornful laugh, the dragon swung his head towards Brianna. “Fraternizing with a human _. _ How unexpected. You stand beside him now, but you couldn’t possibly know all he has done. How many millions have suffered because of his deeds, their very existence changed irrevocably. His hands are stained with the blood of countless souls.”

Dragon breath hot on her face, her grip on Solas’s arm tightened. “Don’t tell me what I don’t know,” she retorted. “I knew about him before I even got here. You seriously have to be fighting all the time, don’t you? You don’t even know what he needs.”

“He is one of the Evanuris, and has turned on his own,” the rumbling voice replied. “His needs are irrelevant. He is deserving of death.”

_ No… _

“You cannot prevent this, mortal.”

“Brianna…”

“He needed someone to see him!” Pulling herself free from Solas’s grasp, she stepped forward, hands fisted at her sides. “Someone who knew about his past and about everything that made him who he was. Because there is good in him. I’ve seen it.”

The dragon almost seemed to smile, a sneering curve of its maw. “You encouraged this, Fen’harel? You invited these mortals into your home when you were unable to defend them in any way? What are they, compared to the endless millenia of your life? But her… You allowed her to influence your decisions, against your better judgment. How utterly laughable.” Smoke coughed from the dragon’s throat, burning Brianna’s eyes. “Now that you have released us, human, even his orb can do nothing against us. Your love for the Betrayer will not save him.”

She met the dragon’s stare, planting her feet. “Maybe not. But you’ve underestimated me for the last time. As long as I live, I will never stop fighting for him.”

Brianna spun, slapping her hand against Solas’s glowing palm. With a rush of wind, her energy fused with his, a humming barrier engulfing them. On the other side, the dragons’ screams of rage pierced the air, and the wolf leapt towards them, snarling. 

“They’re going to kill you,” Brianna said urgently, “but I’m not letting that happen. Not after everything we’ve been through.” 

“Vhenan.”

The look in his eyes killed her. “Use your orb and we can escape together. Somewhere they can’t find us.”

“ _ Vhenan. _ ”

“C’mon, Solas…” She pulled on his arm, cursing the quiver in her voice. “Save yourself, at least. I know you can. It doesn’t have to end like this. Please _ , _ Solas…” He reached for her then, and she collapsed against him, tears coursing down her cheeks. “ _ Please _ stay.”

Solas placed his hand against her cheek, gazing sadly into her eyes. “I have always been sure of my purpose. It was my fate to remain apart from the rest of humanity.” His eyes warmed. “The day I met you, for the first time in centuries, I felt alive.  _ Human _ . And it was anything but unpleasant. I saw that light in your eyes when you saw me, as if you knew me… knew  _ all _ of me… and were relieved to find me at last. No one had ever looked at me the way you did then. With joy, acceptance, love…”

“I do,” Brianna wept. “I’ve always loved you. I always will.”

“Treasure that feeling. The purity of your love is a beautiful thing.”

Solas gazed deeply into her eyes, and she caught the tiny furrow in his brow. 

He was saying good-bye.

“Trust me one last time,” he murmured. “You showed me that there is good in this world. So let me save it. Let me set things right.” Solas’s lips brushed her forehead. “I want you to imagine a world that is free of darkness. Where you can be free, and safe. I can give that to you.”

“But what would my world be without you?”

A tear slipped down his cheek, and he lowered his lips to hers. He kissed her with measured slowness, the furrow between his brows tightening. Brianna clung to him. These few moments weren’t enough. A thousand lifetimes wouldn’t be enough. 

“Think of home, vhenan.”

As memories played through her mind, she felt him take her hand, pressing her palm to a cold, smooth surface. Static raced across her limbs and she gasped against his mouth. Energy exploded between their hands, weaving together in a wild dance of green and white. Within the sphere that shielded them, reality tore, a rending of air and space. Wind whipped around her, and when she looked down, she was in her room. 

Home. 

Across their joined hands, Solas stood on the bridge, the dragons and the wolf battling relentlessly across Skyhold’s ruins. Out of the wind-torn clouds, another dragon descended, ridden by a shimmering, incorporeal figure. At their approach, the dragons rose to meet them, fire spewing from their jaws. Yet Solas had eyes only for her as he gripped the orb, Brianna’s hand trapped against it. 

A beam of light shot upward from the orb’s center. The sky cracked, pulsing and heaving like a living thing. Rushing in from every direction, the torn edges folded together as the heavens mended.

Brianna stared into Solas’s storm-grey eyes. So much love was shining there, and her heart ached with the weight of it. “Solas. I love you.”

“I will always be with you,” he said, “In your heart and in your dreams. As you will be in mine.”

The orb shattered. Lifeless shards blew outward, the last tendrils of power whisking around him. The two dragons screamed, as if in pain, tumbling out of the air towards him. Solas gripped her fingers, his skin pale. His eyes locked with hers as he whispered, “Ar lath, ma vhenan.”

And he was gone.

Brianna stood alone in her room, hands outstretched. A cry tore from her lips and she dropped to her knees, a familiar sting pricking her side. It was nothing compared to the knife in her heart. 

Something dropped from her hand and she stared at the floor through the tears that flooded her eyes. A sliver of the orb rested on the carpet, catching the sunlight that poured through the window. Gently, she scooped it into her palm, cradling it against her chest. 

Her computer hummed quietly, open to where the Herald was collecting elfroot on the outskirts of Haven. Beside her desk, the mirror leaned against the wall, still and silent. 

Whole.

“You came back.” Her mom stood in the doorway, the surprise in her gaze softening to concern. “Oh, sweetheart… You tried to stay with him, didn’t you?”

“ _ Mom… _ ” 

She gathered Brianna in her arms, murmuring softly as she stroked her hair. 

“They’re going to kill him, Mom.” Brianna wept into her shoulder. “He saved me.”

“I’m so proud of you.” Mom held her tightly. “I never doubted you for a moment.”

Brianna clutched the orb’s shard in her palm. “I love him, Mom… So much. With everything inside of me.” She held her mom’s hand, tears glistening in her eyes. “You tried to tell me so much, but I never listened. I’m sorry, Mom. I’m so sorry…”

“I’m glad you know me now,” Mom replied with a smile. “I knew he would need you. I only wish I could’ve seen how incredible you were.”

“It hurts _ , _ Mom. I don’t want to be without him.”

“I would take the pain away if I could. I’m so sorry, sweetheart…”

Brianna squeezed her eyes shut, gripping the shard. She could still see the love in his eyes, and she clung to her mother. “He changed his mind. No one here ever believed he could, but I did. I always believed in him.”

Mom’s voice was full of pride as she said, “You found something you wanted and fought for it, accepting both the beauty and the pain. That’s what living really is. Not something to regret.”

xxx

Brianna lay alone, sheets tangled around her bare legs, listening to her sister’s steady breathing across the room. It had been two days, the same amount of time that had passed in her world while she was away. Mom made excuses for her. Cynthia had watched Brianna strangely but didn’t ask.

With a muffled groan, she turned to the wall, hair splayed across her dampened pillow in tangled knots. The long hours of the night provided no relief for the pain that throbbed in the deepest parts of her. She lay alone with her memories, and the fleeting imaginings of what might have been. In her mind’s eye, she could conjure every expression he had made, every wicked smirk, every tender smile. Her tears fell faster and she pressed her face into the pillow to muffle the sounds of her grief.

Had she doomed the Inquisition by releasing the Evanuris? What would happen to Neirah? There was no way for her to go back with the Eluvian shattered on the other side. There was nothing else she could do. But anxiety gnawed at her, intense and relentless. 

An image of Solas on the bridge haunted her, the dragons racing towards him, jaws gaping wide. A whimper escaped her as she sank into the folds of darkness. She surrendered to it willingly.

A breath of air moved the hair on the back of her neck. Was the window open? She started to turn when a low voice stopped her heart.

“Are you going somewhere?”

_ Solas.  _

Her hands were on him, skimming across his bare chest, her lips crushed against his. Solas sighed into her mouth as he gripped her thigh, pulling her closer. His fingers slid higher while he wove his other hand through her hair. She smiled as his heart thrummed steadily beneath her palm. In the dim glow of the streetlight, her eyes traced the familiar angles of his face, the curve of his neck. She planted a kiss to the soft skin on his shoulder. “Is this a dream? Because it feels very real.” Her eyes darkened. “But I saw them. They were going to kill you.” 

“Wisdom sensed the peril I was in and summoned Mythal.” 

_ The third dragon. _

“With our combined power, Thedas will never know the wrath of the Evanuris.” 

“But your orb was destroyed…”

“What you saw on the bridge was not merely for show. By the time I had sent you back, I had reclaimed a good portion of my power.” His gaze warmed. “Also, it would seem that the use of your abilities kept the Inquisitor awake and free from their hold. She found me shortly after you disappeared.” 

Brianna covered her mouth with one hand. “She’s alive?”

“You saved Thedas, vhenan.”

“Sure didn’t look like it at first. Damn, that scared me…”

Solas chuckled, drawing her close and running a hand down her arm. His touch raised gooseflesh on her skin. 

Pressing her face to his shoulder, she whispered, “How are you here? I thought I lost you.”

“Once I had restored the Veil and informed the Inquisitor of what had transpired, I knew I would search the Fade until I found you.” There was a smile in his voice when he said, “You were closer than I realized.”

“I really miss you…”

“Do not mourn what we have. The connection that exists between us is as real as when we were standing before each other.”

Her eyes glinted in the moonlight. “I’m going to do all I can to get to you. If there is magic here, I will find it.” Her grip on his arm tightened. “Find me so that I can be there for you and show you what love feels like. I’ve only ever wanted to love you. Ever since I first saw you.” 

“You are so beautiful, Brianna,” he murmured, tracing her wounded side with tender caresses. “You have changed so much since that day I found you hiding in my cabin. The longer I have known you, the more deeply I admire the intelligent, competent woman you have proven yourself to be.”

Brianna’s eyes shone. “I wish you could stay forever. I have so much more love to give you.”

“Keep that feeling close. Time or distance cannot change what we have.” He pressed a kiss to her lips, his dark, storm-grey eyes gazing into hers. “Until the day I find you, ar lath, ma vhenan.”

With his quietly spoken words whispering through her mind, Brianna opened her eyes, morning sunlight glinting off the mirror. A bittersweet ache filled her heart, one that she knew would not lessen with the passing of time. 

Solas was right. She had changed. The hopes she held gave her life. For now, it was more than enough. She would make the most of the time she had, each day bringing her closer to her dreams, and each night bringing her closer to the one her soul had chosen. 

She smiled as her fingers traced his kisses across her lips. “Until then, my love.”


End file.
